Good Morning, Do! Today is Tuesday, January 11 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Bonehead Award Man sentenced to 34 years in prison for brutally beating nine-week-old baby in 2015 ____________________________________________________ Today, January 11, in 1922 At Toronto General Hospital, Leonard Thompson became the first person to be successfully treated with insulin. ____________________________________________________ A wise man gets more use from his enemies than a fool from his friends. --- Baltasar Gracian Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. --- Jeff Valdez ____________________________________________________ An elderly woman was walking down the street when a man who was carrying out a survey stopped her. "Excuse me, Madam, we're doing a survey on peoples' attitudes towards sex." "Really!" said the woman smiling. "Could you please tell me what you think of sex on the television?" "Well," replied the woman, I suppose it is OK, as long as you don't fall off. ____________________________________________________   ____________________________________________________ A beautiful woman boarded a jet and took a seat in the first class section. The flight attendant checked her ticket and said "You're in the wrong section. This ticket is for coach. You'll have to move." The woman replied, "I'm AOC, I'm beautiful and I'm going to Miami." The attendant called for the co-pilot who checked her ticket and also told her she had to move. Again she replied,"I'm AOC, I'm beautiful and I'm going to Miami." So they told the captain. He just laughed and said she sounded like his wife and that it was no problem. He went to her seat and whispered something into her ear. She instantly got up and moved back to coach. "Captain, what did you say to get her to move?" asked the flight attendant. The captain replied, "I told her that the first class section doesn't land in Miami." ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Baudel Alejandro Bermudez, 34, Maricopa Jail, Arizona, USA  Man sentenced to 34 years in prison for brutally beating nine-week-old baby in 2015  Officials with the Maricopa County Attorney's Office say a man who was convicted of brutally beating a 9-week-old baby almost seven years ago has been sentenced by a judge. According to a statement released on Jan. 4, 34-year-old Baudel Alejandro Bermudez was sentenced to 34 years in prison for two counts of child abuse. "Bermudez was sentenced to 17 years for each count and the sentences are to be served consecutively," read a portion of the statement. Officials say Bermudez was found guilty by a jury on Oct. 26 for the beating. "Law enforcement and prosecutors in this office have fought for more than five years to provide justice for a helpless baby who will never have the opportunity to live a normal life due to the head injuries she sustained at the hands of someone who was responsible for her care," stated County Attorney Allister Adel, in the statement released on Jan 4. According to a 2015 report issued by the Arizona Department of Child Safety, the baby, identified as Serenity, was taken to the hospital with life-threatening injuries, including multiple skull fractures and bleeding inside the skull. The baby's mother was reportedly at work at the time of the incident. The baby reportedly spent two weeks in the hospital before returning home. Doctors did not think she would survive. "She's finally made it home, but she does have a feeding tube," said Wendy Paez, a friend of Serenity's mother, in an interview with us in 2015. At the time, Bermudez, who was identified as the baby's father, told police the baby fell off the couch when he was in another room, and then slipped out of his hands during a bath and hit her head. Doctors, however, said Serenity's injuries far exceed that.  ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________  From: Tanya Re: Moving to Canada Dear Webby We are more and more interested in moving to Canada. Where should I apply? Can you please sennd me the URL? Tanya  Dear Tanya Look for the Canadian Embassy in your country. The people there speak your language. Tell them exactly what you want to do. They will help you and give you the links to the proper forms. Have FUN! DearWebby 
 Two campers are walking through the forest when they suddenly encounter a grizzly bear! The bear rears up on his hind legs and lets out a terrifying roar. They're both frozen in their tracks. The first camper whispers, "I'm sure glad I wore my running shoes today." "It doesn't matter what kind of shoes you're wearing, you're not gonna outrun that bear," replies the second. "I don't have to outrun the bear, I just have to outrun YOU," he answers, as he takes off. 
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 _____________________________________________  Two sure ways to spot a REALLY sexy man (or woman) The first is, he (or she) has bad memory. ...... I forgot the second. ______________________________________________ Thanks to the Folks from Erie for this one: A guy is sitting quietly reading his paper when his wife sneaks up behind him and whacks him on the head with a frying pan. "What was that for?" he says. "That was for the piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Marylou written on it," she replies. "Two weeks ago when I went to the races, Marylou was the name of one of the horses I bet on," he explains. She looks satisfied and apologizes. Three days later he's again sitting in his chair reading when she nails him with an even bigger frying pan knocking him out cold. When he comes to, he says, "What the heck was that for?" "Your horse phoned. She is pregnant." ______________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 David filled his car with gas at a self-service gas station. After he had paid and driven away, he realized that he had left the gas cap on top of his car. He stopped and looked and, yes, it was lost. Well, he thought for a second and realized that other people must have done the same thing, and that it was worth going back to look by the side of the road since even if he couldn't find his own gas cap, he might be able to find one that fit. Sure enough, he hadn't been searching long when he found a gas cap. He tried it on, and it went into place with a satisfying click. "Great," David thought, "I lost my gas cap, but I found another one that fits. And this one's even better, because it locks ..." ___________________________________________________  
 Today, January 11, in 1569 England's first state lottery was held. 1770 The first shipment of rhubarb was sent to the United States from London. 1867 Benito Juarez returned to the Mexican presidency, following the withdrawal of French troops and the execution of Emperor Maximilian. 1878 In New York, milk was delivered in glass bottles for the first time by Alexander Campbell. 1902 "Popular Mechanics" magazine was published for the first time. 1913 The first sedan-type car was unveiled at the National Automobile Show in New York City. The car was manufactured by the Hudson Motor Company. 1922 At Toronto General Hospital, Leonard Thompson became the first person to be successfully treated with insulin. 1935 Amelia Earhart Putnam became the first woman to fly solo from Hawaii to California. 1942 Japan declared war against the Netherlands. The same day, Japanese forces invaded the Dutch East Indies. 1943 The United States and Britain signed treaties relinquishing extraterritorial rights in China. 1964 U.S. Surgeon General Luther Terry released a report that said that smoking cigarettes was a definite health hazard. 1977 France released Abu Daoud, a Palestinian suspected of involvement in the massacre of Israeli athletes at the 1972 Munich Olympics. 1978 Two Soviet cosmonauts aboard the Soyuz 27 capsule linked up with the Salyut 6 orbiting space station, where the Soyuz 26 capsule was already docked. 1986 Author James Clavell signed a 5$ million deal with Morrow/Avon Publishing for the book "Whirlwind". The book is a 2,000 page novel. 1988 U.S. Vice President George Bush met with representatives of independent counsel Lawrence E. Walsh to answer questions about the Iran-Contra affair. 1991 An auction of silver and paintings that had been acquired by the late Ferdinand Marcos and his wife, Imelda, brought in a total of $20.29 million at Christie's in New York. 2001 The Texas Board of Criminal Justice released a review of the escape of the "Texas 7." It stated that prison staff missed critical opportunities to prevent the escape by ignoring a fire alarm, not reporting unsupervised inmates and not demanding proper identification from inmates. 2001 The U.S. Federal Trade Commission approved the merger of America Online and Time Warner to form AOL Time Warner. 2021 Do smiled. 

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