Good Morning, Do, Today is Monday, September 18 Have Fun! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Florida man scares 16-year-old driver on Shands Bridge  Bonehead ______________________________________________________ Today, Sept 18 in 1759 The French formally surrendered Quebec to the British. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ 
 If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
 
  
 ______________________________________________________ Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business. --- Tom Robbins (1936 - ) I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting. --- Ronald Reagan (1911 - 2004) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  ______________________________________________________ 'I'll have fish and chips twice,' said Murphy. 'Very well,' said the shopkeeper. 'The fish won't be long.' 'Then they'd better be fat,' said Murphy. _____________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________ The Casey twins had stumbled across a dead horse. 'What shall we do with it?' asked Michael. 'Let's raffle it,' said Joseph. '2 a ticket, limited sale of 201 tickets.' 'But what happens when the winner finds out it's dead?' reasoned Michael. 'No problem, we'll give him his money back!' was the reply. ______________________________________________________   Superior Harbor South Breakwater Light, for sale at auction. Bid $500, and it will probably be yours. Electricity and phone is OK, but interior is rather quaint and will probably need some renovating. _____________________________________________________ 
 If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  Thanks for your votes!
 ______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  William Larry Bennett, 24, St. Augustine, Floriduh  Florida man scares 16-year-old driver on Shands Bridge  A St. Augustine man is in the St. Johns County Jail after he reportedly struck a newly-licensed driver's car multiple times on the Shands Bridge. William Larry Bennett, 24, tailgated three people riding in a 2010 Toyota Highlander because they were driving too slowly, deputies said. The driver was only 16 years old, the report said. Bennett's 2003 Dodge truck hit the victims three times, the report said, causing the teen driver to fear being pushed off the bridge. Bennett honked his horn, made hand gestures and yelled at the teen driver, the report said. A passing motorist saw the actions and tailed Bennett, but Bennett stopped his vehicle and confronted the witness before driving off in an erratic manner, the report said. Bennett is being held on three counts of aggravated battery with a deadly weapon and leaving the scene of a crash.  _________________________________  Tech Support Pits From: Rosemarie Re: Where do I find CrapCleaner Dear Webby, Where do I find CrapCleaner? Rosemarie  Dear Rosemarie Look in the right side menu. If you are molesting a phone, you might have to scroll sideways to see the side menu. Crap Cleaner is just below MailWasher. Have FUN! DearWebby    
 As the funeral procession went by, the American tourist inquired of a Dublin policeman: 'Who died?' 'I'm not sure,' said the Bobby, 'but I think it's the feller in the back of the front car.' 
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
 
  
 Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Opening Clams Never open clams with a paring knife or other sharp instrument. You can cut yourself badly. It's best to use a flat knife made for opening clams or some flat kitchen knifes may do the trick. Use a thick towel, glove or pot holder to protect the hand that is holding the clam. Hold the flat knife in your other hand, pull the shell opening towards knife until it penetrates between the shells, then stop. Simply rotate the knife to pry open the shell. Fresh clams open easier when they are cold. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com  ____________________________________________________  
  
 
A bear goes shopping in downtown Anchorage
 ____________________________________________________  'She's a horrible woman,' said Murphy about his mother-in-law. 'She makes her own yoghurt. She puts a pint of milk on the table and stares at it!' __________________________________________________  
 
 The history of passport photos. 
 ___________________________________________________ A teacher caught a student in the hall during class time and said, "Jill, tell me, whose class you're cutting this time?" The young teen said, "Like, uh, see, okay, like it's like, I really don't like, think like, that's really important, y'know, like because I'm, y'know, like I don't get anything out of it." The teacher smiled and said, "It's your English class, isn't it?" 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 ____________________________________________________ That reminds me, .... Did you know that there are more English speakers in China than in the USA, and that they do not have dumbed down and regionally and racially adjusted English tests for graduation exams in China? ____________________________________________________ 
 Today, Sept 18, in 1759 The French formally surrendered Quebec to the British. 1769 It was reported, by the Boston Gazette, that the first piano had been built in North America. The instrument was named the spinet and was made by John Harris. 1789 Alexander Hamilton negotiated and secured the first loan for the United States. The Temporary Loan of 1789 was repaid on June 8, 1790 at the sum of $19,608.81. 1793 U.S. President George Washington laid the actual cornerstone of the U.S. Capitol. 1810 Chile declared its independence from Spain. 1830 The "Tom Thumb", the first locomotive built in America, raced a horse on a nine-mile course. The horse won when the locomotive had some mechanical difficulties. 1850 The Fugitive Slave Act was declared by the U.S. Congress. The act allowed slave owners to claim slaves that had escaped into other states. 1891 Harriet Maxwell Converse became the first white woman to ever be named chief of an Indian tribe. The tribe was the Six Nations Tribe at Towanda Reservation in New York. 1895 Daniel David Palmer gave the first chiropractic adjustment. 1927 Columbia Phonograph Broadcasting System made its debut with its network broadcast over 16 radio stations. The name was later changed to CBS. 1940 "You Can't Go Home Again" by Thomas Wolfe was published by Harper and Brothers. 1946 Mound Metalcraft was founded in Mound, MN. On November 23, 1955, the company changed its name to Tonka Toys Incorporated. 1947 The United States Air Force was established as a separate military branch by the National Security Act. 1965 The first episode of "I Dream of Jeannie" was shown on NBC-TV. The last show was televised on September 1, 1970. 1984 The 39th session of the U.N. General Assembly was opened with an appeal to the U.S. and Soviet Union to resume arms negotiations. 1991 U.S. President George H.W. Bush said that he would send warplanes to escort U.N. helicopters that were searching for hidden Iraqi weapons if it became necessary. 1994 Haiti's military leaders agreed to depart on October 15th. This action averted a U.S.-led invasion to force them out of power. 1997 Ted Turner, U.S. Media magnate, announced that over the next ten years he would give $1 billion to the United Nations. 1998 The FDA approved a once-a-day easier-to-swallow medication for AIDS patients. 2017 Do smiled.
 
 
 

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!

ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them
in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog