Dear Webby's Humor Letter
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 Good Morning, Do, Today is Monday, June 19 Have Fun! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: 20-year-old felon jailed after he shot somebody while on store surveillance video.  Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, June 18 in 0240 BC Eratosthenes estimated the circumference of the Earth using two sticks. He got pretty close! See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ 
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______________________________________________________ People who reach the top of the tree are only those who haven't got the qualifications to detain them at the bottom. --- Peter Ustinov (1921 - 2004) The avoidance of taxes is the only intellectual pursuit that carries any reward. --- John Maynard Keynes (1883 - 1946) What this country needs is more free speech worth listening to. --- Hansell B. Duckett ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Linda My high school assignment I was to ask a veteran about World War II. Since my father had served ?in the Philippines during the war, ?I chose him. After a few basic questions, I very gingerly asked, Did you ever kill anyone? Dad got quiet. Then, in a soft voice, he said, "Maybe, I was the cook." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ A motorist driving by a Texas ranch hit and killed a calf that was crossing the road. The driver went to the owner of the calf and explained what had happened. He then asked what the animal was worth. "Oh, about $200 today," said the rancher. "But in six years it would have been worth $900. So $900 is what I'm out." The motorist sat down and wrote out a check and handed it to the farmer. "Here," he said, "is the check for $900. It's post-dated six years from now." ______________________________________________________ From "I love lighthouses" _____________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Brandon Torrey, 20, Birmingham, Alabama 20-year-old felon jailed after he shot somebody while on store surveillance video. A Birmingham man is under arrest after police say surveillance video showed him shooting another man at a southwest Birmingham convenience store. Brandon Torrey, 20, is charged with attempted murder, shooting into an occupied building and being a felon in possession of a firearm, said Birmingham police Sgt. Bryan Shelton. The shooting happened Wednesday, May 3, 2017. Shelton said the victim was waiting in line at M & N Grocery on Pearson Avenue. The video shows the suspect open the door to the store and open fire on the victim, whose name has not been released. The police department's Crime Reduction Team took Torrey into custody on Tuesday, according to jail records. He remains jailed with bond set at $60,000. Court records show Torrey pleaded guilty last year to three felonies receiving stolen property, unlawful breaking and entering of a vehicle and burglary. He was sentenced to 10 years in prison with six months to serve. "The video displays an individual with a total disregard for life,'' Shelton said. "We are truly, truly thankful the victim lived." ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Dani Re: emojis Dear Webby, Hope you are doing well. I love the pictures you post of your father's cacti. I am looking for a good safe website for emoji's. One without other junk attached that could mess up my computer. I figured go to the EXPERT! Can you help with a good one? Thanks you so much. Dani Dear Dani Try this one: https://emojikeyboard.org Have FUN! DearWebby
The shipwrecked mariner had spent several years on a deserted island. Then one morning he was thrilled to see a ship offshore and a smaller vessel pulling out toward him. When the boat grounded on the beach, the officer in charge handed the marooned sailor a bundle of newspapers and told him, "The captain said to read through these and let us know if you still want to be rescued."
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Wine Bottle To Water Plants By Trina Sudhoff [9 Posts, 10 Comments] My indoor plants need frequent watering and often get wilty before I get a chance to water them. I found a great way to keep them more hydrated and water less often wine! Well, wine bottles that is (or any empty bottle with a narrow neck). Just fill an empty bottle with water, dig a little hole in the soil of your potted plant, and quickly invert the bottle and press into the soil as firmly and upright as possible. As the soil dries, it wicks the water from the opening and keeps the soil moist until your next feeding. Source: A party at my house with a lot of wine! By ECONOMYSTIMUL8R from Sunny South FL
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UUTAi Olena - Russian shaman lady
____________________________________________________ Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal and says to the first man he meets, "Do you want to go to heaven?" The man said, "I do, Father." The priest said, "Then leave this pub right now!" The priest approached a second man and said, "Do you want to got to heaven?" "Certainly, Father," was the man's reply. "Then leave this den of Satan," said the priest. The priest walked up to O'Toole and said, "Do you want to go to heaven?" "No, I don't, Father," O'Toole replied. The priest looked him right in the eye and said, "You mean to tell me that, when you die, you don't want to go to heaven?" O'Toole smiled. "Oh, when I die. Yes, sure, Father. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now." ___________________________________________________
Tanks a lot!
A lawyer was reading the will of a rich man to the people mentioned in it: "To my loving wife, Rose, who stood by me in the rough times as well as the smooth, I will the house and two million dollars. "To my daughter, Jessica, who looked after me in illness and kept the business going, I will the yacht, the business, and one million dollars. "And to my cousin, Dan, who hated me, argued with me, and who thought I would not remember him in my will: You were wrong. Dan, I remember that you are a useless turkey."
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________ Thanks to Michelle for this one: When I returned home from college for a break, I noticed a paper posted on the refrigerator. It listed some goals my dad had set for himself: Help wife more; lose weight; be more productive at work. I promptly added: "Send Michelle money every month." A few days later my brother wrote: "Make payments on car for Jason." Then my boyfriend joined in with: "Buy Tom a Jeep." Finally my father added a new goal to his amended list: "Wean the kids."
____________________________________________________
 Today, on June 19, in 0240 BC Eratosthenes estimated the circumference of the Earth using two sticks. He got pretty close! 1586 English colonists sailed away from Roanoke Island, NC, after failing to establish England's first permanent settlement in America. 1778 U.S. General George Washington's troops finally left Valley Forge after a winter of training. 1821 The Ottomans defeated the Greeks at the Battle of Dragasani. 1862 U.S. President Abraham Lincoln outlined his Emancipation Proclamation, which outlawed slavery in U.S. territories. 1864 The USS Kearsarge sank the CSS Alabama off of Cherbourg, France. 1865 The emancipation of slaves was proclaimed in Texas. 1873 Eadweard Muybridge successfully photographed a horse named "Sallie Gardner" in fast motion using a series of 24 stereoscopic cameras. This is considered the first step toward motion pictures. 1903 The young school teacher, Benito Mussolini, was placed under investigation by police in Bern, Switzerland. 1910 The first Father's Day was celebrated in Spokane, Washington. 1911 In Pennsylvania, the first motion-picture censorship board was established. 1912 The U.S. government established the 8-hour work day. 1917 During World War I, King George V ordered the British royal family to dispense with German titles and surnames. 1933 France granted Leon Trotsky political asylum. 1937 The town of Bilbao, Spain, fell to the Nationalist forces. 1939 In Atlanta, GA, legislation was enacted that disallowed pinball machines in the city. 1942 Norma Jeane Mortenson (Marilyn Monroe) and her 21-year- old neighbor Jimmy Dougherty were married. They were divorced in June of 1946. 1942 British Prime Minister Winston Churchill arrived in Washington, DC, to discuss the invasion of North Africa with U.S. President Roosevelt. 1943 Henry Kissinger became a naturalized United States citizen. 1944 The U.S. won the battle of the Philippine Sea against the Imperial Japanese fleet. 1958 In Washington, DC, nine entertainers refused to answer a congressional committee's questions on communism. 1961 Kuwait regained complete independence from Britain. 1961 The U.S. Supreme Court struck down a provision in Maryland's constitution that required state officeholders to profess a belief in God. 1964 The Civil Rights Act of 1964 was approved after surviving an 83-day filibuster in the U.S. Senate. 1965 Air Marshall Nguyen Cao Ky became South Vietnam's youngest premier at age 34. 1968 50,000 people marched on Washington, DC. to support the Poor People's Campaign. 1973 The Case-Church Amendment prevented further U.S. involvement in Southeast Asia. 1973 Gordie Howe left the NHL to join his sons Mark and Marty in the WHA (World Hockey League). 1978 Garfield was in newspapers around the U.S. for the first time. 1981 "Superman II" set the all-time, one-day record for theater box-office receipts when it took in $5.5 million. 1981 The European Space Agency sent two satellites into orbit from Kourou, French Guiana. 1983 Lixian-nian was chosen to be China's first president since 1969. 1987 The U.S. Supreme Court struck down the Louisiana law that required that schools teach creationism. 1989 The movie "Batman" premiered. 1998 Gateway was fined more than $400,000 for illegally shipping personal computers to 16 countries subject to U.S. export controls. 1998 A study released said that smoking more than doubles risks of developing dementia and Alzheimer's. 1998 Switzerland's three largest banks offered $600 million to settle claims they'd stolen the assets of Holocaust victims during World War II. Jewish leaders called the offer insultingly low. 2000 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that a group prayer led by students at public-school football games violated the 1st Amendment's principle that called for the separation of church and state. 2017 Do smiled.

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