Good Morning, Do! Today is Friday, September 17 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!  __________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________  NY Killer of 6 year old girl arrested  ___________________________________________________ Today, Sept 17 in 1972 "M*A*S*H" premiered on CBS-TV. ____________________________________________________ As you journey through life take a minute every now and then to give a thought for the other fellow. He could be plotting something. --- Hagar the Horrible Busy is a state of mind and a matter of priorities. --- DearWebby ____________________________________________________ Have you ever worked in an office where someone insisted upon listening to their voice mail using the speakerphone (at full volume, naturally). It can really begin to bother you after a while. I found a fairly easy fix for that, though. I ask a lady friend, whom she has never heard, to call her desk when she's not there, and leave a message like this: "Hi, this is Candy from 1-900-HOT-BABE. You haven't paid for the 'toys' we sent you, you naughty girl! You wouldn't want me to come over there and spank you, would you ?" That is probably the last time you ever hear that particular speakerphone. ____________________________________________________   ____________________________________________________ A sad-faced Todd walked into a flower shop early one morning. The clerk was ready to take his order for a funeral piece, based on the look on Todd's face, but soon realized his assumption was wrong as Todd asked for a basket of flowers sent to his wife for their anniversary. "And what day will that be?" the clerk asked. Glumly he replied, "Yesterday." ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Marktwan Hargraves, 22, Waldorf, New York, USA  NY Killer of 6 year old girl arrested  Police arrested 22-year-old Marktwan Hargraves of Waldorf and charged him with Second Degree Murder while Armed. He was arrested inside of a Southeast D.C. apartment. Contee added that Hargraves was "no stranger to the criminal justice system." Contee also announced that the work of the citys Violence Reduction Unit which focuses on high impact areas of violence in the District led to the arrests of 16 individuals who are in custody and face charges of narcotics conspiracy in federal U.S. District Court. Contee said the unit recovered over a dozen firearms, cocaine, heroin and other drugs as part of its operation and said more arrests are expected in the area near where Courtney was murdered. Contee also confirmed at the press conference that Courtneys father was one of those indicted in the operation. "We want to make it very clear you may not always see it. But the investigations are happening and we believe this will make our community safer," said D.C. Mayor Muriel Bowser.  ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________  From: Vicky Re: Best mouse Dear Webby, I know you take no prisoners, and yell at or about ANY company, that annoys us, your fans. So, who makes the best mouse, Logitech or Microsoft? Vicky  Dear Vicky I have used 5 or 7 button mice since the mid 90's, and I am thoroughly addicted to using Cut & Paste with the side buttons, and ENTER with the push-down of the scroll wheel. Both Microsoft and Logitech make 5 button mice. I have one on the left machine and one on the right. They both work about the same. The left mouse (Microsoft) has the side buttons on the left and right side, the right mouse has them both on the thumb side. Not a big deal, but it reminds me on the foot-6, that I posted about 10 years ago:  If you do use two mice, I would recommend, though, that you use both from the same company. Causes less cussing. Have FUN! DearWebby 
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 A bonehead award goes to the UK Royal Navy which had to go ashore during a NATO exercise to buy gasoline from a local gas station on a remote Scottish island after one of their frigates dicovered they had forgotten to take along gasoline for their landing craft. ''I thought it was a joke when this posh voice rang up and asked for petrol for the Navy,'' said the owner of the gasoline station, who delayed to fill the gas cans for a day because he doesn't work on Sundays. So the sailors had to row their boat for a day. Ananova 2-Jul-01 ____________________________________________ >From Pat Good Morning, DearWebby ~ I have been receiving your Humor Letter since ..... well, since like forever. The "quickies" in the beginning are great, getting me in the groove for the longer jokes that follow, LOL. Here's one for you: "If you have amnesia and experience deja-vue at the same time, does that mean you feel like you've forgotten this stuff before?" Thank you so much for the tasteful, humorous, and personalized greeting each day. ~ Pat ==== ____________________________________________ True story: An 82-year-old woman has decided to permanently live on the QE2 cruise ship rather than live in an old people's home in London because, she says, it's less expensive and ''the views [at the home] wouldn't be half as spectacular.'' She keeps in touch with family using Email and has shipboard medical insurance as well as a private cabin on the fourth deck. ______________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
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 Today, Sept 17, in 1394 In France, Charles VI published an ordinance that expelled all Jews from France. 1778 The United States signed its first treaty with a Native American tribe, the Delaware Nation. 1787 The Constitution of the United States of America was signed by delegates at the Constitutional Convention. 1796 U.S. President George Washington's Farewell Address was read before the U.S. Congress. 1862 The Battle of Antietam took place during the American Civil War. More than 23,000 men were killed, wounded, or missing. The Rebel advance was ended with heavy losses to both armies. 1872 Phillip W. Pratt patented a version of the sprinkler system. 1911 The first transcontinental airplane flight started. It took C.P. Rogers 82 hours to fly from New York City to Pasadena, CA. 1930 Construction on Boulder Dam, later renamed Hoover Dam, began in Black Canyon, near Las Vegas, NV. 1932 Sir Malcolm Campbell set a speed record when he reached 276.27 mph over a half mile. 1937 At Mount Rushmore, Abraham Lincoln's face was dedicated. 1939 The Soviet Union invaded Poland. Germany had invaded Poland on September 1. 1944 Operation "Market Garden" was launched by Allied paratroopers during World War II. The landing point was behind German lines in the Netherlands. 1953 The Ochsner Foundation Hospital in New Orleans, LA, successfully separated Siamese twins. Carolyn Anne and Catherine Anne Mouton were connected at the waist when born. 1972 "M*A*S*H" premiered on CBS-TV. 1976 NASA unveiled the space shuttle Enterprise in Palmdale, CA. 1983 Vanessa Williams, as Miss New York, became the first black woman to be crowned Miss America. 1984 9,706 immigrants became naturalized citizens when they were sworn in by U.S. Vice-President George Bush in Miami, FL. It was the largest group to become U.S. citizens. 1984 Gordon P. Getty was named the richest person in the U.S. His fortune was $4.1 billion. 1991 The United Nations General Assembly opened its 46th session. The new members were Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania, North and South Korea, Micronesia and the Marshall Islands. 1992 Lawrence Walsh called a halt to his probe of the Iran- Contra scandal. The investigation had lasted 5 1/2 years. 1995 Hong Kong held its last legislative election before being taken over by China in 1997. 1997 Northern Ireland's main Protestant party joined in peace talks. It was the first time that all of the major players had come together. 1998 The United States government offered a reward for the capture of Haroun Fazil for his role in the U.S. bombing in Kenya on August 7, 1998. 1998 The U.S. announced a plan that would compensate victims in the Kenya and Tanzania U.S. Embassy bombings on August 7, 1998. 2021 Do smiled. 
 
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