Dear Webby's Humor Letter
widely read, forwarded, copied and imitated daily since 1994
Dear Webby's Humor Letter, daily since 1994
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Good Morning, Do! Today is Wednesday, April 19

___________________________________________________ History: Today, April 19 in 1994, A Los Angeles jury awarded $3.8 million to Rodney King for violation of his civil rights. ____________________________________________________ Bonehead Award: Mississippi felon hides gun in Taco Bell quesadilla during traffic stop _____________________________________________________ Q People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy. --- Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) ______________________________________________________ A hillbilly dragged his protesting son to a new school which had just opened in a nearby village. When they arrived, he took his son to see the teacher. "Howdy," said the hillbilly. "This here's my son, Arthur. Now what kind of learnin' are you teachin'?" "Oh, all the usual subjects," said the teacher, nodding at the boy. "Reading, writing, arithmetic." "What's this?" interrupted the father. "Arith....arith...what did you say?" "Arithmetic, Sir," said the teacher, "instruction in algebra, geometry,and trigonometry." "Trigonometry!" cried the delighted hillbilly. "That's what my boy needs. He's the worst darn shot in the family!" ___________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ When the man asked his widower father why he'd married a young nymphomaniac whom he could never satisfy instead of a woman his own age, the old man said, "Son, I'd rather have ten percent of a good business than a hundred percent interest in a bankrupt one." ____________________________________________________ Located in British Columbia, Canada, Helmcken Falls is a powerful waterfall that ejects a lot of spray into the air. During colder winters, this results in the formation of an enormous ice cone, which can grow to be 200 feet (60 meters) tall or more. Even in June, remnants of the cone can still be seen. More details/photos: http://bit.ly/3o7Jzq8 _______________________________________________ Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, a pretty girl asked, "I want to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?" "Only one kiss per yard," replied the smirking male clerk. "That's fine," replied the girl. "I'll take ten yards." With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk hurriedly measured out and wrapped the cloth, then held it out teasingly. The girl snapped up the package and pointed to a grinning little old woman standing beside her. "Grandma will pay the bill," she smiled. _______________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Devin Mitchell, Picayune, Mississippi, USA Mississippi felon hides gun in Taco Bell quesadilla during traffic stop A Mississippi felon tried to be clever and hide a weapon inside a Taco Bell order, authorities said. The Picayune Police Department said last Friday, officers made a traffic stop for a traffic violation on East Canal Street. They then made contact with the driver, Olivia Neff, and passenger Devin Mitchell. Officers reported that during the traffic stop, Mitchell concealed a handgun inside a folded quesadilla in a Taco Bell bag. They then conducted a probable cause search and officers said they located a distribution amount of methamphetamine, liquid heroin, and drug paraphernalia. Mitchell was charged with several crimes including possession of a controlled substance and possession of a firearm. Neff was cited disregard for a traffic device and released at the scene. The unusual traffic stop didn't stop officers from making light of the situation. "Were afraid that quesadillas last beef has been ground," the department posted on Facebook when one user asked what became of the food. _______________________________________________ DeaWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Marlene Re: Which picture format? Dear Webby Yes, I know, you have explained it before, but at the time I did not have a camera or paint program. Which picture format is the best, and why? Please keep it simple. Thanks Marlene Dear Marlene Stick with JPG. It has 16 Million colors and you can go as large or fine as you want. The only thing to worry about is that it has "Lossy Compression". If you resize it or reduce file size, it throws away pixels, that you can not ever get back. If you do a lot of resizing, then it is important to save an original, that you can go back to. Alternately, you can use .PNG format. It does not throw anything away, but that causes a larger file size. On the internet the files have to be .GIF or .JPG or .PNG. .GIF is very coarse, and gets ugly, if you increase the size of the picture. It is one of the oldest formats. If you absolutely need the smallest file size possible, for example in a letterhead or signature footer, then you could use .GIF. Just don't expect to ever increasing picture size. For that save an original in .PNG or .JPG format. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Today, April 19 in 1012, Aelfheah was murdered by Danes who had been ravaging the south of England. Aelfhear became the 29th Archbishop of Canterbury in 1005. 1539, Emperor Charles V reached a truce with German Protestants at Frankfurt, Germany. 1587, English admiral Sir Francis Drake entered Cadiz harbor and sank the Spanish fleet. 1689, Residents of Boston ousted their governor, Edmond Andros. 1713, Holy Roman Emperor Charles VI issued the Pragmatic Sanction, which gave women the rights of succession to Hapsburg possessions. 1764, The English Parliament banned the American colonies from printing paper money. 1770, Captain James Cook discovered New South Wales, Australia. Cook originally named the land Point Hicks. 1775, The American Revolution began as fighting broke out at Lexington, MA. 1782, The Netherlands recognized the new United States. 1794, Tadeusz Kosciuszko forced the Russians out of Warsaw. 1802, The Spanish reopened the New Orleans port to American merchants. 1839, The Kingdom of Belgium was recognized by all the states of Europe when the Treaty of London was signed. 1861, Thaddeus S. C. Lowe sailed 900 miles in nine hours in a hot air balloon from Cincinnati, OH, to Unionville, SC. 1861, The Baltimore riots resulted in four Union soldiers and nine civilians killed. 1861, U.S. President Lincoln ordered a blockade of Confederate ports. 1892, The Duryea gasoline buggy was introduced in the U.S. by Charles and Frank Duryea. 1897, The first annual Boston Marathon was held. It was the first of its type in the U.S. 1927, In China, Hankow communists declared war on Chaing Kai-shek. 1933, U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt issued a proclamation that removed the U.S. from the gold standard. 1938, General Francisco Franco declared victory in the Spanish Civil War. 1939, Connecticut approved the Bill of Rights for the U.S. Constitution after 148 years. 1943, The Warsaw Ghetto uprising against Nazi rule began. The Jews were able to fight off the Germans for 28 days. 1951, General Douglas MacArthur gave his "Old Soldiers" speech before the U.S. Congress after being relieved by U.S. President Truman. In the address General MacArthur said that "Old soldiers never die, they just fade away." 1951, Shigeki Tanaka won the Boston Marathon. Tanaka had survived the atomic blast at Hiroshima, Japan during World War II. 1956, Actress Grace Kelly became Princess Grace of Monaco when she married Prince Rainier III of Monaco. The civil ceremony took place on April 18. 1967, Surveyor 3 landed on the moon and began sending photos back to the U.S. 1971, Russia launched the Salyut into orbit around Earth. It was the first space station. 1975, India launched its first satellite with aid from the USSR. 1977, Alex Haley received a special Pulitzer Prize for his book "Roots." 1981, In Davao, Philippines, thirteen people were killed when members of the New People's Army threw hand grenades into the Roman Catholic cathedral during Easter services. 1982, NASA named Sally Ride to be first American woman astronaut. 1982, NASA named Guion S. Bluford Jr. as the first African-American astronaut. 1982, The U.S. announced a ban on U.S. tourist and business traval to Cuba. The U.S. charged the Cuban government with subversion in Central America. 1987, In Phoenix, AZ, skydiver Gregory Robertson went into a 200-mph free-fall to save an unconscious colleague 3,500 feet from the ground. 1987, The last California condor known to be in the wild was captured and placed in a breeding program at the San Diego Wild Animal Park. 1989, A gun turret exploded aboard the USS Iowa. 47 sailors were killed. 1989, In El Salvador, Attorney General Alvadora was killed by a car bomb. 1993, The Branch-Davidians compound in Waco, TX, burned to the ground. It was the end of a 51-day standoff between the cult and U.S. federal agents. 86 people were killed including 17 children. Nine of the Branch Davidians escaped the fire. 1994, A Los Angeles jury awarded $3.8 million to Rodney King for violation of his civil rights. 1995, The Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City, OK, was destroyed by a bomb. It was the worst bombing on U.S. territory. 168 people were killed including 19 children, and 500 were injured. Timothy McVeigh was found guilty of the bombing on June 2, 1997. 1998, Wang Dan, a leader of 1989 Tienanmen Square pro democracy protests, was freed by the Chinese government. 2000, The Oklahoma City National Memorial was dedicated on the fifth anniversary of the bombing in Oklahoma that killed 168 people. 2000, Letters written by Greta Garbo were put on exhibit. The letters were made public ten years after Garbo's death. 2000, In the Philippines, Air Philippines GAP 541 crashed while preparing to land. 131 people were killed. 2002, The USS Cole was relaunched. In Yemen, 17 sailors were killed when the ship was attacked by terrorists on October 12, 2000. The attack was blamed on Osama bin Laden's al-Qaida network. 2023, Do smiled.
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