Good Morning, Do! Today is Tuesday, September 7 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Man, 25, In Epic Post-Nuptial Meltdown ___________________________________________________ Today, Sept 6 in 1927 Philo T. Farnsworth succeeded in transmitting an image through purely electronic means by using an image dissector. ____________________________________________________ How vain it is to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live. --- Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862) An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do. --- Dylan Thomas (1914 - 1953) Crime does not pay ... as well as politics. --- Alfred E. Newman ____________________________________________________ A woman entered a pawn shop and asked to see a pistol. She then asked for some bullets. Loading the gun, she ordered the pawnbroker to empty out the cash register. But then she said, "I have an even greater urge. Get into the back room!" There she ordered him to disrobe, and began having sex with him. She got so involved and excited, that she dropped the gun. "For God sakes, lady, pick it back up. My wife is due to show up any time now, and if she thinks I am fooling around for fun, then we are both dead!" ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ The judge read the charges, then asked, "Are you the defendant in this case?" "No sir, your honor, sir," replied Jill, "I've got a lawyer to do the defendin'. I'm the person who done it." ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Nicholas Ruthenberg, 25, Vero Beach, Florida, USA Man, 25, In Epic Post-Nuptial Meltdown After fleeing from the scene of an auto crash he caused, a 25- year-old motorist--who was married earlier in the day and appeared under the influence--declared All hail Donald Trump before scuffling with Florida jailers who sought to restrain him, according to court records. Police charge that Nicholas Ruthenberg was driving the wrong way on a Vero Beach street late Monday afternoon when he struck a vehicle traveling in the opposite direction. Ruthenberg ran from the scene of the crash, which resulted in the hospitalization of the other driver for neck, back, and leg pain, cops reported. Ruthenberg, who was subsequently arrested near the crash site, was acting erratically and appeared as if he were under the influence of an unknown substance. Upon arrival at the county jail, Ruthenberg declared All hail Donald Trump while failing a series of sobriety tests. Ruthenbergs blood alcohol level was 0.0, prompting police to ask him for a urine sample to determine the presence of chemical or controlled substances. As a cop prepared the urine test, Ruthenberg started to take his pants off and then spread his buttocks. During which time he placed two fingers in his anus. Ruthenberg was then placed back in handcuffs. After later agreeing to undergo a drug evaluation, Ruthenberg began acting erratic again and was out of control, leading jail personnel to again restrain him with handcuffs. Ruthenbergs behavior, an investigator concluded, was consistent with someone under the influence of some kind of stimulant. Ruthenberg (seen above) was photographed struggling with jail personnel as they sought to take his mug shot. Ruthenberg was charged with DUI and leaving the scene of an accident causing serious bodily injury. He was released from the county jail Wednesday after posting $2000 bond. As seen in nuptial photos posted to Facebook, Ruthenberg was married August 30, the day he was arrested. His bride turned 20 that day, according to the couples marriage certificate. The duo was wed by a clerk at the Indian River County Courthouse in Vero Beach, to which Ruthenberg will return October 1 for his arraignment. The auto crash Ruthenberg caused occurred a few blocks from the courthouse. His new wife was not with him. Ruthenberg, who lives about 15 miles from Vero Beach, is a registered Democrat, according to Florida voter records. ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ From: Greta Re: Best Search engine Dear Webby, Which is the best search engine? Thanks Greta Dear Greta Now you are getting into religion again! Just like religion, the best is the one that you are using, and are familiar with. Google is used by 92% of the people. Microsoft's BING is used by about 8% Bing is not really bad, but because a lot of people hate W10, that hate chases them away from BING. Note that Yahoo uses BING down under the hood. Noteworthy is DuckDuckGo. It is about #8 as far as users are concerned. The DuckDuckGo search engine is all about privacy. These days, there are countless Google privacy concerns. The giant is well-known to track, monitor, and collect reams of data about its users. So if you feel a little uneasy about your data being harvested and stored, or you dont like targeted advertising, you might want to give DuckDuckGo a chance. Have FUN! DearWebby | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ One night, a lady stumbled into the police station with a black eye. She claimed she heard a noise in her back yard and ran out swinging her rolling pin. The next thing she knew, she was hit in the eye and knocked out cold. An officer was sent to her house to investigate, and he returned a half hour later with a black eye as well. "Did you get hit by the same person?" his captain asked. "No sir," he replied. "I stepped on the same rake." ____________________________________________ The world is full of willing people: some willing to work and some willing to let them. ____________________________________________ Morris and Sam have been at odds all through the school year, however, they decide to forgive each other for any unkind actions and thoughts before the summer holidays. "And," says Morris, "I wish you, what you would wish for me." Sam yelled, "Are you ALREADY starting getting hostile again?" ______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today, Sept 7, in 1812 Napoleon defeated the Russian army of Alexander I at the battle of Borodino. 1813 The nickname "Uncle Sam" was first used as a symbolic reference to the United States. The reference appeared in an editorial in the New York's Troy Post. 1822 Brazil declared its independence from Portugal. 1880 George Ligowsky was granted a patent for his device that threw clay pigeons for trapshooters. 1888 Edith Eleanor McLean became the first baby to be placed in an incubator. 1896 A.H. Whiting won the first automobile race held on a racetrack. The race was held in Cranston, RI. 1901 China and the Eight-Nation Alliance signed the Boxer Protocol ending the Boxer Rebellion (Boxer Uprising, Yihequan Movement). 1915 Johnny Gruelle received a patent for his Raggedy Ann doll. (U.S. Patent D47789) 1921 Margaret Gorman of Washington, DC, was crowned the first Miss America in Atlantic City, NJ. 1927 Philo T. Farnsworth succeeded in transmitting an image through purely electronic means by using an image dissector. 1930 The cartoon "Blondie" made its first appearance in the comic strips. 1940 London received its initial rain of bombs from Nazi Germany during World War II. 1942 During World War II, the Russian army counter attacked the German troops outside the city of Stalingrad. 1963 The National Professional Football Hall of Fame was dedicated in Canton, OH. 1977 The Panama Canal treaties were signed by U.S. President Carter and General Omar Torrijos Herrera. The treaties called for the U.S. to turn over control of the canal's waterway to Panama in the year 2000. 1983 In Ireland, voters approved a constitutional ammendment that banned abortion. 1986 President Augusto Pinochet survived an assassination attempt made by guerrillas. 1986 Desmond Tutu was the first black to be installed to lead the Anglican Church in southern Africa. 1987 Erich Honecker became the first East German head of state to visit West Germany. 1989 Legislation was approved by the U.S. Senate that prohibited discrimination against the handicapped in employment, public accommodations, transportation and communications. 2021 Do smiled. |
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