Good Morning, Do! Today is Saturday, Sept 16  ___________________________________________________ Q It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues. --- Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865) ____________________________________________________ Bonehead Award Gilbert restaurant manager caught stealing customer's fanny pack with $8200 and phone ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ History on this day, Sept 15, in 1940 U.S. President Roosevelt signed into law the Selective Training and Service Act, which set up the first peacetime military draft in U.S. history, in order to get ready for WWWII. WWII was planned and organized, but not officially declared until after Pearl Harbor. ____________________________________________________ THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW IF YOU MOVE TO THE SOUTH 1. A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road. 2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in the South. 3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in the South, plus a couple no one's seen before. 4. If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha. 5. Onced and Twiced are words. 6. It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy! 7. Jawl-P? means: Did you all go to the bathroom? 8. People actually grow, eat, and like okra. 9. Fixinto is one word. It means I'm going to do something. 10. There is no such thing as lunch. There is only dinner and then there's supper. 11. Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar. It is referred to as the Wine of the South. 12. Backwards and forwards means I know everything about you. 13. The word jeet is actually a question meaning, 'Did you eat?' 14. You don't have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it is, you work until you're done or it's too dark to see. 15. You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH em. 16. Y'all is singular. All Y'all is plural. 17. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect, or animal. 18. You carry jumper cables in your car for your OWN car. 19. You only own five spices: salt, pepper, mustard, Tabasco, and ketchup. 20. The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local high school sports, motorsports, and gossip. 21. Everyone you meet is a Honey, Sugar, Miss (first name), or Mr (first name) 22. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday. 23. You know what a hissy fit is.. 24. Fried catfish is the other white meat. 25. We don't need no dang Driver's Ed. If our mama says we can drive, we can drive!!! 26. You understand these jokes and forward them to your Southern friends and those who just wish they were from the SOUTH. AND one more: 27. Why did the chicken cross the road? To show that stupid possum that it CAN be done! __________________________________________________   __________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ >From Bob I had an offer from a large company and they offered to fly me out to the meeting on business class. During the return flight we were given gourmet brownies and cookies. Not hungry, I decided to save them for later, so I placed them in an airsickness courtesy bag. After the plane landed I got up to leave and a stewardess approached me. She asked, "Sir, would you like for me to dispose of that for you?" I said, "No thanks, I'm saving it for my kids." ___________________________________________________ Matt went into Doc Steven's office for his annual checkup, and the Doc asked if there was anything unusual he should know about. That left it pretty wide open, so he told the Doc that he found it real strange how his suit must've shrunk just sittin' in his closet, because it didn't fit when he went to get ready for a wedding recently. The Doc said, "Suits don't shrink just sittin' there. You probably just put on a few pounds, Matt." "That's just it, Doc, I know I haven't gained a single pound since the last time I wore it." "Well, then," said Doc, "You must have a case of Furniture Disease." "What in the world is Furniture Disease?" Matt asked. "Furniture Disease, Matt, is when you reach that stage in life when your chest starts slidin' down into your drawers." __________________________________________________   Eared Grebe. Rocky View County, AB. May 5/20 ___________________________________________________ A couple just started their Lamaze class and they were given an activity requiring the husband to wear a bag of sand - to give him an idea of what it feels like to be pregnant. The husband stood up and shrugged saying, "This doesn't feel so bad." The instructor then dropped a pen and asked the husband to pick it up. "You want me to pick up the pen as if I were pregnant, the way my wife would do it?" the husband asked. "Exactly," replied the instructor. To the delight of the other husbands, he turned to his wife and said, "Honey, pick up that pen for me." ___________________________________________________ Cindy is walking down the street with her blouse open and her right breast hanging out. A policeman approaches her and says, "Ma'am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?" She says, "Why, officer?" "Because your breast is hanging out." She looks down and says, "OH MY GOD, I left my baby on the bus again!" _____________________________________________________  DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Marlene Re: Which picture format? Dear Webby Yes, I know, you have explained it before, but at the time I did not have a camera or paint program. Which picture format is the best, and why? Please keep it simple. Thanks Marlene  Dear Marlene Stick with JPG. It has 16 Million colors and you can go as large or fine as you want. The only thing to worry about is that it has "Lossy Compression". If you resize it or reduce file size, it throws away pixels, that you can not ever get back. If you do a lot of resizing, then it is important to save an original, that you can go back to. Alternately, you can use .PNG format. It does not throw anything away, but that causes a larger file size. On the internet the files have to be .GIF or .JPG or .PNG. .GIF is very coarse, and gets ugly, if you increase the size of the picture. It is one of the oldest formats. If you absolutely need the smallest file size possible, for example in a letterhead or signature footer, then you could use .GIF. Just don't expect to ever increasing picture size. For that save an original in .PNG or .JPG format. Have FUN! DearWebby ________________________________________________ Leroy was telling his friend Bubba about the date he had the night before, "It was a bummer. She used four letter words all evening." Bubba exclaimed, "Really? I can't believe you didn't enjoy that." "Guess again," said Leroy, "All night she kept saying 'Quit,' 'Stop,' and 'Don't!'" ___________________________________________________ Two kids are talking to each other. One says, "I'm really worried. My dad works twelve hours a day to give me a nice home and good food. My mom spends the whole day cleaning and cooking for me. I'm worried sick!" The other kid says, "What have you got to worry about? Sounds to me like you've got it made!" The first kid says, "What if they try to escape?" ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ An enormously wealthy 65-year-old man falls in love with a young woman in her twenties and is contemplating a proposal. "Do you think she'd marry me if I tell her I'm 45?" he asked a friend. "Your chances are better," said the friend, "if you tell her you're 90." _______________________________________________ A Bonehead award has been reported by Rock  Aaron Jones, Gilbert, Arizona, USA  Man beat, chained up sex trafficking victim. She escaped, he got arrested.  A terrifying situation in Glendale on Friday after a woman who was chained and restrained banged on a neighbors door for help. Police discovered she was a sex trafficking victim. This was getting to an extreme level, the chains and the restraints, said former FBI supervisory special agent Lance Leising. Leising read the court documents Friday and was surprised by some of what he saw. According to police, Aaron Cortez had chained up a woman in his travel trailer, whipped her with a charging cord and chains, then left her alone locked inside. Court documents showed once she felt he was gone long enough, she escaped, and detectives later learned she was a sex trafficking victim, allegedly being pimped out by Cortez, who went by King Ace. That name was something written on her hand. But they also learned his possession went further. You have some things that go well over the top. You have a contract that was written and signed by the victim saying that shes property of the defendant. Thats about as clear as it gets, said Leising. The documents say Cortez had about 70 ads for prostitution online with pictures of him, some with the victim, too, depicting violent sex acts. The victim told officers Cortez would take her to dates, would never let her go alone, then collect the money himself afterward. In addition to the contract, officers found rough drafts of tattoo ideas to brand the victim as property of King Ace. Cortez was arrested after police were surveilling him and is now facing charges including aggravated assault, kidnapping and illegal enterprise. __________________________________________________ History Today Sept 15, in 1400 Owain Glyndwr was proclaimed Prince of Wales after rebelling against English rule. He was the last Welsh-born Prince of Wales. 1620 The Mayflower departed from Plymouth, England. The ship arrived at Provincetown, MA, on November 21st and then at Plymouth, MA, on December 26th. There were 102 passengers onboard. 1630 The village of Shawmut changed its name to Boston. 1782 The Great Seal of the United States was impressed on document to negotiate a prisoner of war agreement with the British. It was the first official use of the impression. 1810 The Mexicans began a revolt against Spanish rule. Miguel Hidalgo y Costilla, a Catholic priest of Spanish descent, declared Mexico's independence from Spain in the small town of Dolores. 1893 The "Cherokee Strip" in Oklahoma was swarmed by hundreds of thousands of settlers. 1908 General Motors was founded by William Crapo "Billy" Durant. The company was formed by merging the Buick and Olds car companies. 1940 U.S. President Roosevelt signed into law the Selective Training and Service Act, which set up the first peacetime military draft in U.S. history, in order to get ready for WWWII. WWII was planned and organized, but not officially declared until after Pearl Harbor. 1940 Samuel T. Rayburn of Texas was elected Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives. He served for 17 years. 1953 "The Robe" premiered at the Roxy Theater in New York. It was the first movie filmed in the wide screen CinemaScope process. 1974 U.S. President Ford announced a conditional amnesty program for draft-evaders and deserters during the Vietnam War. 1976 The Episcopal Church formally approved women to be ordained as priests and bishops. 1982 In west Beirut, the massacre of hundreds of Palestinian men, women and children began in refugee camps of the Lebanese Christian militiamen. 1985 The Communist Party in China announced changes in leadership that were designed to bring younger officials into power. 1987 The Montreal Protocol was signed by 24 countries in an effort to save the Earth's ozone layer by reducing emissions of harmful chemicals by the year 2000. 1990 An eight-minute videotape of an address by U.S. President George H.W. Bush was shown on Iraqi television. The message warned that action of Saddam Hussein could plunge them into a war "against the world." 1994 Exxon Corporation was ordered by federal jury to pay $5 billion in punitive damages to the people harmed by the 1989 Exxon Valdez spill. 1994 Two astronauts from the space shuttle Discovery went on the first untethered spacewalk in 10 years. 1998 Universal paid $9 million for the rights to the Dr. Seuss classics "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" and "Oh, the Places You'll Go." 2022 Apple released the iPhone 14. The iPhone 14 Plus was released on October 7. 2023, Do smiled. 

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