Good Morning, Do, Today is Sunday, June 4 Have Fun! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Harlem man shot and killed Pensylvania man at kindergarten graduation party  Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, June 4 in 1783 A hot-air balloon was demonstrated by Joseph and Jacques Montgolfier. It reached a height of 1,500 feet. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ 
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 ______________________________________________________ All power corrupts, but we need the electricity. --- Socratex A good friend can tell you what is the matter with you in a minute. He may not seem such a good friend after telling. --- Arthur Brisbane ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  ______________________________________________________ >From Brianna My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming little smile, "We better throw this one out too then, 'cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago." _____________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________ >From Betty This was written by a black guy in Texas.....so funny..... what a great sense of humor and creativity!!! When I born, I black, when I grow up, I black, when I go in sun, I black, when I cold, I black, when I scared, I black, when I sick, I black, and when I die, I still black. You white folks....when you born, you pink, when you grow up, you white, when you go in sun, you red, when you cold, you blue, when you scared, you yellow, when you sick, you green, when you bruised, you purple, and when you die, you gray. So who you are callin' colored folk's ??? ______________________________________________________   _____________________________________________________ 
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 ______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Tremaine Jamison, 27, Harlem, New York  Harlem man shot and killed Pensylvania man at kindergarten graduation party  Police say a New York City man fatally shot a Pennsylvania man who was hosting a kindergarten graduation party for his son and several other children. Witnesses tell state police that a fight or rough play between the victim's 6-year-old son and another 6-year-old led to an argument between adults that ended when 27-year-old Tremaine Jamison shot 29-year-old Devon Brown in the head. The party and shooting happened Wednesday evening at the Marion Terrace Apartments in Hanover Township, Luzerne County. That's near Wilkes-Barre, about 20 miles (32.2 kilometers) southwest of Scranton. Online court records show troopers have charged Jamison with criminal homicide and possessing a prohibited weapon by a felon. Police say Jamison lives in the Harlem section of New York City and police were continuing to search for him Friday. Jamison has previously been arrested for narcotics possession in New York City. He also served time for robbery.  ______________________________________________________  Tech Support Pits From: Enjo Re: Why are the blacklists listing me? Dear Webby I dont spam, but I have a formal newsletter that, just like yours, jumps through all the hoops, but now I am blocked by Yahoo and all their fake fronts like SBCglobal, ATT.net, etc. Why is that? Enjo  Dear Enjo Most likely that is due to bouncing, and not your newsletter. When somebody sends spam to you with a fake name before the @, then traditionally that is bounced back to the sender. Nowadays that is used to load down a server and break down the defenses. A hacker generates countless spams that have for example your name mis-spelled in the TO line, and a business or government address forged in as the sender. So your server bounces those phony mails to that business or Government server. When the hackers use a whole network of infected home computers to send a Million phony mails like that, the bounces overwhelm the victims server. The formal name for that is "Backscatter". If your server bounces mails like that, it gets put into some blacklists. `Not all, but some of the blacklists demand $100 or more to take you off their blacklist. Quite a racket! The trick is to NOT get onto those blacklists in the first place. Set your server to never send bounces. Also, turn off all autoresponders. Some of the Blacklists send out entrapment mails. If that entrapment mail bounces back to their trap, your server is blacklisted and Yahoo blocks mail from your server. So, stop all traditional bouncing from your server. It`s just another hoop you have to jump through nowadays. Have FUN! DearWebby    Thanks to Dianne for this classic: Mildred, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business. Several members did not approve of her extra-curricular activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence. She made a mistake, however, when she accused George, the plumber, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his pickup parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon. She emphatically told George and several others that everyone seeing it there would know what he was doing. George, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just turned and walked away. He didn't explain, defend, or deny. He said nothing. Later that evening, George and his crew of plumbers apprentices quietly parked their pickup trucks in front of Mildred's house............. and left them there all night. 
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 Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Microwave Corn on the Cob  By Jackie H. [230 Posts, 109 Comments] You will never boil corn on the cob again. This is easy, and the tastiest, sweetest corn ever. You are not boiling all the flavor out of corn. You can cook 1 or up to 4 at a time. The time may vary with how many you are cooking. 4 minutes in the Microwave, turning over at 2:00 minutes. Add 1 minute for add'l ears of corn. Follow examples in pictures. Being cautious of hot corn when it comes out of the Microwave. Using Mitts or pot holders is wise. Total Time: 4:00 minutes for 1 ear of corn, add'l 1 per ear. Yield: As many as you wish to cook. Source: Online for Microwave cooking! Steps: Start by removing old dark husks that are loose only. With a large sharp knife, cut of stump and about 1/4 inch into the corn. Cut away the loose silk and dead husks at the top. Rinse well in cold water. Put Corn wrapped in wet paper towel in Microwave Cook on high for 4:00 minutes, turning over after 2:00 minutes. Carefully removing from Microwave with Mitts or pot holders. With a Paper towel, just squeeze the thin end of the corn and your corn should come sliding out with no husks or silk. Keep squeezing until corn falls out neat & clean Ready to eat, Hot, sweet and delicious.   And then there is the bachelor way: Rinse the cobs Toss the cobs into the microwave Nuke them for 4 minutes Cut off the fat end at the largest point Grab the hairy end with an oven mitt and squeeze. IF you cut the fat end at the largest point, the corn will slide out without any silk. Until you get the hang of cutting at the largest point, you may have to re-cut a bit. Most corn is very fussy about that. If you cut it right, it slides out with minimal effort. Butter it a bit, sprinkle salt and pepper on it, and enjoy! Have FUN! DearWebby  

Holy Mother Hear My Prayer - Clapton & Pavarotti

Two college seniors with an exam the next day had decided to party the night away instead of study. So, when they went to the test the next morning, they explained to the professor that their car had a flat tire the night before and they needed a bit more time to study. The professor gave them another day, so that evening the boys crammed all night until they were sure that they knew just about everything. Arriving to class the following morning, each boy was told to go into separate classrooms to take the exam. They shrugged and went into their respective rooms. As each sat down, they read the first question: "For 5 points, explain the contents of an atom." At this point, they both thought the exam was going to be a piece of cake and answered the question with ease. Then, the test continued: "For 95 points, tell me which tire it was." ___________________________________________________

I'll bet this smells divine.

Thanks to Kati for this story: Have you ever told a white lie? Alice was to bake a cake for the ladies' bridge group bake sale, but she forgot to do it until the last minute. She baked an angel food cake and when she took it from the oven, the center had dropped flat. She said, "Oh dear, there's no time to bake another cake." So, she looked around the house for something to build up the center of the cake. Alice found it in the bathroom ... a roll of toilet paper. She plunked it in and covered it with icing. The finished product looked beautiful, so she rushed it to the sale. Before she left the house, Alice had given her daughter some money and specific instructions to be at the bake sale the minute it opened, and to buy that cake and bring it home. When the daughter arrived at the sale, the attractive cake had already been sold. Alice was beside herself. The next day, Alice was invited to a friend's home where two tables of bridge were to be played that afternoon. After the game, a fancy lunch was served, and to top it off, the cake in question was presented for dessert. Alice saw the cake, she started to get out of her chair to rush into the kitchen to tell her hostess all about it, but before she could get to her feet, one of the other ladies said, "What a beautiful cake!" Alice sat back in her chair and almost wet herself when she heard the hostess say .. "Thank you, I baked it myself."

Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.

Here is a real Classic from a long time ago: COSTELLO BUYS A COMPUTER ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you? COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer. ABBOTT: Mac? COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou. ABBOTT: Your computer? COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one. ABBOTT: Mac? COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou. ABBOTT: What about Windows? COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here? ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows? COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows? ABBOTT: Wallpaper. COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software. ABBOTT: Software for Windows? COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals track expenses and run my business. What do you have? ABBOTT: Office. COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything? ABBOTT: I just did. COSTELLO: You just did what? ABBOTT: Recommend something. COSTELLO: You recommended something? ABBOTT: Yes. COSTELLO: For my office? ABBOTT: Yes. COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office? ABBOTT: Office. COSTELLO: Yes, for my office! ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows. COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need? ABBOTT: Word. COSTELLO: What word? ABBOTT: Word in Office. COSTELLO: The only word in office is office. ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows. COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows? ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W". COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money? ABBOTT: Money. COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have? ABBOTT: Money. COSTELLO: I need money to track my money? ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer. COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer? ABBOTT: Money. COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer? ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge. COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much? ABBOTT: One copy. COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money? ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money. COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money? ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT! (A few days later) ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you? COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off? ABBOTT: Click on "START"....

 Today, on June 4 1615 The fortress of Osaka, Japan, fell to shogun Ieyasu after a six month siege. 1647 The British army seized King Charles I and held him as a hostage. 1674 Horse racing was prohibited in Massachusetts. 1783 A hot-air balloon was demonstrated by Joseph and Jacques Montgolfier. It reached a height of 1,500 feet. 1784 Marie Thible became the first woman to fly in a hot-air balloon. The flight was 45 minutes long and reached a height of 8,500 feet. 1792 Captain George Vancouver claimed Puget Sound for Britain. 1794 British troops captured Port-au-Prince, Haiti. 1805 Tripoli was forced to conclude peace with U.S. after the Marines defeated them. 1812 The Louisiana Territory had its name changed to the Missouri Territory. 1816 The Washington was launched at Wheeling, WV. It was the first stately, double-decker steamboat. 1878 Turkey turned Cyprus over to Britain. 1896 Henry Ford made a successful test drive of his new car in Detroit, MI. The vehicle was called a "Quadricycle." 1911 Gold was discovered in Alaska's Indian Creek. 1918 French and American troops halted Germany's offensive at Chateau-Thierry, France. 1919 The U.S. Senate passed the Women's Suffrage bill. 1924 An eternal light was dedicated at Madison Square in New York City in memory of all New York soldiers who died in World War I. 1931 The first rocket-glider flight was made by William Swan in Atlantic City, NJ. 1935 "Invisible" glass was patented by Gerald Brown and Edward Pollard. 1939 The first shopping cart was introduced by Sylvan Goldman in Oklahoma City, OK. It was actually a folding chair that had been mounted on wheels. 1940 The British completed the evacuation of 300,000 troops at Dunkirk, France after a failed invasion attempt. 1942 The Battle of Midway began. It was the first major victory for America over Japan during World War II. The battle ended on June 6 and ended Japanese expansion in the Pacific. 1943 In Argentina, Juan Peron took part in the military coup that overthrew Ramon S. Castillo. 1944 The U-505 became the first enemy submarine captured by the U.S. Navy. 1944 During World War II, the U.S. Fifth Army entered Rome, which began the liberation of the Italian capital. 1946 Juan Peron was installed as Argentina's president. 1947 The House of Representatives approved the Taft-Hartley Act. The legislation allowed the President of the United States to intervene in labor disputes. 1954 French Premier Joseph Laniel and Vietnamese Premier Buu Loc initialed treaties in Paris giving "complete independence" to Vietnam. 1960 The Taiwan island of Quemoy was hit by 500 artillery shells fired from the coast of Communist China. 1974 The Cleveland Indians had "Ten Cent Beer Night". Due to the drunken and unruly fans the Indians forfeited to the Texas Rangers. 1974 Sally Murphy became the first woman to qualify as an aviator with the U.S. Army. 1985 The U.S. Supreme Court upheld a lower court ruling striking down an Alabama law that provided for a daily minute of silence in public schools. 1986 Jonathan Jay Pollard, a former Navy intelligence analyst, pled guilty in Washington to spying for Israel. He was sentenced to life in prison. 1986 The California Supreme Court approved a law that limited the liability of manufacturers and other wealthy defendants. It was known as the "deep pockets law." 1989 In Beijing, Chinese army troops stormed Tiananmen Square to crush the pro-democracy movement. It is believed that hundreds, possibly thousands, of demonstrators were killed. 2003 The U.S. House of Representatives passed a bill that would ban "partial birth" abortions with a 282-139 vote. 2003 Amazon.com announced that it had received more than 1 million orders for the book "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix." The released date was planned for June 21. 2008 The United Kingdom and Canada became the first countries to be able to buy and rent films at the iTunes Store. 2017 Do smiled.

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