Good Morning, Do! Today is Wednesday, Sept 6 ___________________________________________________ Q The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good things for the first time. --- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 - 1900) In religion and politics, people's beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second hand, and without examination. --- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) ____________________________________________________ Bonehead Award Virginia mom had lewd relationship with teen twins next door ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ History on this day, Sept 6, in 1952 In Montreal, Canadian television began broadcasting. ___________________________________________________ A little old lady was sitting on a park bench in Trailer Estates, a Florida mobile home park. A man walked over and sits down on the other end of the bench. After a few moments, the woman asks, "Are you a stranger here?" He replies, "I lived here years ago." "So, where were you all these years?" "In prison," he says. "Why did they put you in prison?" He looked at her, and very quietly said, "I killed my wife." "Oh!" said the woman. "So you're single..." __________________________________________________ Castlepoint-NZ-North Island __________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ A little old lady was sitting on a park bench in Trailer Estates, a Florida mobile home park. A man walked over and sits down on the other end of the bench. After a few moments, the woman asks, "Are you a stranger here?" He replies, "I lived here years ago." "So, where were you all these years?" "In prison," he says. "Why did they put you in prison?" He looked at her, and very quietly said, "I killed my wife." "Oh!" said the woman. "So you're single..." ___________________________________________________ Another two elderly people living in Trailer Estates, he was a widower and she a widow, had known each other for a number of years. One evening there was a community supper in the big activity center. The two were at the same table sitting across from one another. As the meal went on, he took a few admiring glances at her and finally gathered the courage to ask her, "Will you marry me?" After about six seconds of 'careful consideration', she answered "Yes. Yes, I will." The meal ended and, with a few more pleasant exchanges, they went back to their own trailer. Next morning, he was troubled. "Did she say 'yes' or did she say 'no'?" He couldn't remember. Try as he might, he just could not recall. Not even a faint memory. With trepidation, he went to the telephone and called her. First, he explained that he didn't remember as well as he used to. Then he reviewed the lovely evening past. As he gained a little more courage, he inquired, "When I asked if you would marry me, did you say 'Yes' or did you say 'No'?" He was delighted to hear her say, "Why, I said, 'Yes, yes I will' and I meant it with all my heart." Then she continued, "I am so glad that you called, because I couldn't remember who had asked me." __________________________________________________ Ana ___________________________________________________ Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor at The Trailer Estates Medical Clinic to get a physical. A few days later the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. A couple of days later the doctor spoke to Morris and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you?" "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.", Morris replied. To which doctor said, "I didn't say that, Morris. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur. Be careful..!!' ___________________________________________________ A little old man shuffled slowly into the "Orange Dipper", an ice cream parlor in Trailer Estates, and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool at the counter. After catching his breath he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly, "Crushed nuts?" "No, he replied, arthritis!" _____________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Rhea RE: Why FireFox for Forms? Dear Webby, Judy mentioned that she uses Chrome for browsing and FireFox for form filling. Why? Rhea Dear Rhea FireFox traditionally offers the last used entry for a particular form. Like Auto-Correct, that can be a blessing, or a curse. If you DON'T want the browser to fill in the previous filling, for example "August", then use Chrome. If you DO want it to fill in reusable stuff, then use Firefox. Have FUN! DearWebby ________________________________________________ On the first day, God created the dog and said: "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone Who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life Span of twenty years." The dog said: "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?" So God agreed. On the second day, God created the monkey and said: "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span." The monkey said: "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?" And God agreed. >On the third day, God created the cow and said: "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years." The cow said: "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty >years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?" >And God agreed again. >On the fourth day, God created man and said: "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years." > But man said: "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?" "Okay," said God, "You asked for it." So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone. Life has now been explained to you. ___________________________________________________ >From Annie My boyfriend and I met online and we'd been dating for over a year. I introduced Hans to my uncle, who was fascinated by the fact that we met over the Internet. He asked Hans what kind of line he had used to pick me up. Ever the geek, Hans naively replied, "I just used a regular DSL modem." ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ John was tasked with taking the Christmas decorations up to the attic for another year's storage. During one trek up the stairs, heavily laden with boxes, he slipped and luckily only fell about two steps before landing square on his behind. His wife heard the noise and yelled, "What was that thump?" "I just fell down the stairs," he explained. She rushed into the room, "Anything broken?!" "No, no, I'm fine." There was just a slight pause before his loving wife said, "No, I meant my decorations? Are any of them broken?" _______________________________________________ A Bonehead award has been reported by Rock Ashleigh Watts, 37, Chesapeake, Virginia, USA Virginia mom had lewd relationship with teen twins next door Ashleigh Watts, 37, was allegedly caught topless with a 15- year-old boy she had been having a relationship with A 37-year-old Virginia mother was arrested for allegedly sexually abusing twin brothers next door, maintaining a monthslong illicit relationship, after her husband caught her topless with one of the teen neighbors. Ashleigh Watts had allegedly maintained a sexual relationship with one of the 15-year-olds since June 2022, according to a criminal complaint obtained by Fox News Digital. The Chesapeake Police Department received an anonymous call reporting the predatory relationship on Feb. 22. In subsequent interviews, Watts' husband told investigators that he woke up around 2 a.m. on Feb. 17 to find that his wife wasn't in bed; when he checked downstairs, he found her topless and laying on their couch while the child "pretend[ed] to be asleep." Watts, who has a son about the same age as the twins, had a "very close relationship" with the neighbors and kept an "open door policy," per the documents. The teen reportedly told his parents that he went to Watts' home to smoke marijuana and "chilled until he fell asleep" on their couch, and he denied that there had been any sexual activity between them. Later, the teen told his father that he had sex with Watts multiple times, per the complaint. The 15-year-old confided in a neighbor and said that he and Watts were in love, per the documents. When he turned 17, he said, Watts intended to leave her husband and marry him. Months later, on July 2, according to the criminal complaint, police were called to the families' street for a physical altercation between Watts and another woman. The teen reportedly ran out of his house, tackled the woman to the ground and choked her police wrote that they charged the minor with strangulation, though the current status of this charge is unclear. On or around that day, police said, the teen's parents reported him missing. On July 26, police allegedly found him in Watts' home about 20 days later after they removed a mattress in an upstairs bedroom and spotted him hiding in a crawl space wearing only his boxers. When asked for his identification, he reportedly handed police his learner's permit. Before allowing officers to enter the house, per documents, Watts made them wait while she put on a bra and took her dogs out to relieve themselves. Watts was charged that day with contributing to the delinquency of a minor. The smitten brother's twin told police that Watts would also touch him inappropriately, gave him pairs of her panties and would invite him into her house to smoke marijuana. Watts was charged with three counts of indecent acts with a child on Aug. 17, but was released on bail, according to court records. She is next due in court on Oct. 24, and is awaiting trial while out on bond. Watts faces up to 30 years in prison if convicted. Both the twins' parents and Watts' husband filed protective orders against the woman, according to reporting by local outlet WAVY. Large amounts of cash, a prepaid cellphone and marijuana were found stashed in the home when Watts was arrested, per the husband's protective order affidavit obtained by the outlet. __________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the humor letter, please donate what you can! If you like my work, please donate a dollar, or two, if you can afford it! Please, help me stay online! __________________________________________________ History Today Sept 6, in 1819 Thomas Blanchard patented a machine called the lathe. It had been in use for many centuries, but never patented. 1837 The Oberlin Collegiate Institute of Ohio went co- educational. 1876 The Southern Pacific rail line from Los Angeles to San Francisco was completed. 1899 Carnation processed its first can of evaporated milk. 1901 U.S. President William McKinley was shot and mortally wounded (he died eight days later) by Leon Czolgosz. Czolgosz, an American anarchist, was executed the following October. 1909 Robert Peary, American explorer, sent word that he had reached the North Pole. He had reached his goal five months earlier. 1939 South Africa declared war on Germany. 1941 Jews in German-occupied areas were ordered to wear the Star of David with the word "Jew" inscribed. The order only applied to Jews over the age of 6. 1943 The youngest player to appear in an American League baseball game was pitcher Carl Scheib of the Philadelphia Athletics. Scheib was 16 years, eight months and five days old. 1944 During World War II, the British government relaxed blackout restrictions and suspended compulsory training for the Home Guard. 1948 Queen Juliana of the Netherlands was crowned. 1952 In Montreal, Canadian television began broadcasting. 1972 Rick DeMont lost the gold medal he received in a 400- meter swimming event because a banned drug was found in his system during routine drug testing. 1975 Martina Navratilova requested political asylum while in New York for the U.S. Open Tennis Tournament. 1978 James Wickwire and Louis Reichardt reached the top of the world's second largest mountain, Pakistan's K-2. They were the first Americans to reach the summit. 1990 Iraq warned that anyone trying to flee the country without permission would be put in prison for life. 1991 The State Council of the Soviet Union recognized the independence of the Baltic states. 1991 The name St. Petersburg was restored to Russia's second largest city. The city was founded in 1703 by Peter the Great. The name has been changed to Petrograd (1914) and to Leningrad (1924). 1992 A 35-year old man died ten weeks after receiving a transplanted baboon liver. 1993 Renault of France and Volvo of Sweden announced they were merging. Volvo eventually canceled the deal the following December. 1995 U.S. Senator Bob Packwood was expelled by the Senate Ethics Committee. 2000 The U.N. Millennium Summit began in New York. It was the largest gathering of world leaders in history with more than 150 present. 2001 The U.S. Justice Department announced that it was seeking a lesser antitrust penalty and would not attempt to break up Microsoft. 2001 Ebay Inc. was found not liable for copyright infringement because bootleg copies of a Charles Manson documentary had been sold on their site. 2002 At the Smithsonian American Art Museum, the exhibition "George Catlin and His Indian Gallery" went on view. The exhibit contained over 400 objects. 2008 The Federal Housing Finance Agency (FHFA) announced that Fannie Mae (Federal National Mortgage Association) and Freddie Mac (Federal Home Loan Mortgage Corporation) would be placed in government conservatorship. 2023, Do smiled.
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