Good Morning, Do! Today is Friday, July 17 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops! ___________________________________________________ Today, July 17 in 1917 The British royal family adopted the Windsor name. _____________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award: Baby died when drunk mom crashed while racing dad at 198 km/h ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________________ Politics, n. Strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. --- Ambrose Bierce (1842 - 1914) _____________________________________________________ The Arkansas State Police received reports of illegal cock fights being held in the area around Caraway and duly dispatched the infamous Detective Sergeant "Paul" Desormeaux to investigate. He reported to his lieutenant the next morning. "Dey is tree main groups in dis cock fightin" he began. "Good work. Who are they?" the lieutenant asked. Desormeaux replied confidently, "De Aggies, de Cajuns, and de Mafia." Puzzled the lieutenant asked, "How did you find that out in one night?" "Well," was the reply, "I went down and done seed dat cock fight. I knowed the Aggies was involved when a duck was entered in the fight." The Lieutenant nodded, "I'll buy that, but what about the others?" Desmoreaux intoned knowingly, "Well, I knowed de Cajuns were involved wen summbody bet on de duck." "Ah," sighed the Lieutenant, "And how did you deduce the Mafia was involved?" "De duck won." _____________________________________________________ red winged blackbird Jared Lloyd ___________________________________________________ "Twenty-five dollars," muttered the sleepy physician. "How much is an office visit?" demanded the caller. "Fifteen dollars." "Okay, Doc," said the caller. "I'll meet you in your office in fifteen minutes." ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Lauren Prescia, 23, Las Vegas, Nevada, USA Baby died when drunk mom crashed while racing dad at 198 km/h (121mph) A one year-old baby boy was killed in a horrific crash after his mother decided to drunkenly race the youngsters dad at 121mph. Royce Jones was killed in Las Vegas Sunday after his mother Lauren Prescias Hyundai Sonata struck a concrete marquee at high speed in a 45mph zone en route to a custody handover. The impact tore a huge chunk of concrete out of a pillar, and ripped Prescias car into two parts. Royce died strapped into his baby seat, which was flung from the car by the force of the impact. Distressing dashcam footage taken moments before the smash showed 23 year-old Prescias pewter car rocketing past, just behind a white Mercedes SUV being driven by Royces dad Cameron Hubbard-Jones that was also traveling at more than 100mph. ADVERTISEMENT Prescia walked away from the smash uninjured, and was picked up by police slurring her words and reeking of booze shortly after, it is claimed. Both Prescia and Hubbard-Jones have been arrested over their sons death. The pair had decided to race each other to a custody handover for their young son, 8NewsNow reported. Hubbard- Jones claims to have been talking to Prescia on the phone before the crash, and told police hed warned his ex to slow down. Prescia faces charges including DUI resulting in death, and child abuse resulting in death. Hubbard-Jones has been charged with reckless driving following the death of a juvenile. Prescia is currently free on $50,000 bail on stringent conditions, ahead of her next court appearance on Wednesday. Las Vegas Metropolitan PD Sergeant Paul McCullough told the Las Vegas Sun of his horror at seeing the unbelievable crash scene. He said: The dynamics of the collision were disgusting. Discovering that it was an infant child that was involved was quite upsetting, and it had an effect on everyone out there. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Eldridge RE: What's the story with IE? Dear Webby, On my W10 machine I see Internet Explorer showing up in the TaskManager after every reboot or mandatory update. I know it is crap, that is why Microsoft dumped it and replaced it with Edge. Why are they slithering it onto my machine? Eldridge Dear Eldridge Nobody knows. They have been doing that for ages. Officiaally their excuse is that certain apps in Microsoft Office might need it. I don't have Microsoft Office. Not in my budget. But IE still appears mysteriously. Just knock it off with the Task Manager. It just uses up precious memory. Have FUN! DearWebby | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ Jack is telling his friends about his recent divorce. "Yeah, she divorced me for her religious reasons. She worshipped money and I didn't have any." _____________________________________________ On her way back from the concession stand, Sarah asked the man at the end of the row, "Sir, did I step on your foot a minute ago?" Expecting an apology the man said, "Indeed you did." Sarah nodded. "Oh, good. Then this is my row." ____________________________________________ Shane "One-Spur" Blumberg, the original Jewish cowboy, was famous for wearing only one spur on his boots. Once, when confronted by a young reporter from a Dallas newspaper,he agreed to do an interview with the scrappy young reporter, if only to bring a good name to the Jewish community among his big ranching neighbors. The first meaningful question out of the young reporter's mouth was, "So why do you wear only one spur?" To which Shane Blumberg replied, "Well, I wasn't born with silver spurs on my boots, and besides, the way I figure, when one side of a horse starts to run, so will the other." | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today July 17 in 1212 The Moslems were crushed in the Spanish crusade. 1453 France defeated England at Castillon, France, which ended the 100 Years' War. 1785 France limited the importation of goods from Britain. 1815 Napoleon Bonaparte surrendered to the British at Rochefort, France. 1821 Spain ceded Florida to the U.S. 1862 National cemeteries were authorized by the U.S. government. 1866 Authorization was given to build a tunnel beneath the Chicago River. The three-year project cost $512,709. 1867 Harvard School of Dental Medicine was established in Boston, MA. It was the first dental school in the U.S. 1898 U.S. troops under General William R. Shafter took Santiago de Cuba during the Spanish-American War. 1917 The British royal family adopted the Windsor name. 1941 Brigadier General Soervell directed Architect G. Edwin Bergstrom to have basic plans and architectural perspectives for an office building that could house 40,000 War Department employees on his desk by the following Monday morning. The building became known as the Pentagon. 1945 U.S. President Truman, Soviet leader Josef Stalin and British Prime Minister Winston S. Churchill began meeting at Potsdam in the final Allied summit of World War II. During the meeting Stalin made the comment that "Hitler had escaped." 1946 Chinese communists opened a drive against the Nationalist army on the Yangtze River. 1954 The Brooklyn Dodgers made history as the first team with a majority of black players. 1955 Disneyland opened in Anaheim, CA. 1960 Francis Gary Powers pled guilty to spying charges in a Moscow court after his U-2 spy plane was shot down over the Soviet Union. 1966 Ho Chi Minh ordered a partial mobilization of North Vietnam forces to defend against American air strikes. 1975 An Apollo spaceship docked with a Soyuz spacecraft in orbit. It was the first link up between the U.S. and Soviet Union. 1979 Nicaraguan President Anastasio Somoza resigned and fled to Miami in exile. 1986 The largest bankruptcy filing in U.S. history took place when LTV Corporation asked for court protection from more than 20,000 creditors. LTV Corp. had debts in excess of $4 billion. 1997 After 117 years, the Woolworth Corp. closed its last 400 stores. 1998 Biologists reported that they had deciphered the genome (genetic map) of the syphilis bacterium. 2008 In China, construction of the Shanghai World Financial Center was completed. 2020 Do smiled. |
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