Good Morning, Do! Today is Monday, Sept 18  ___________________________________________________ Q Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it's compounding a felony. --- Robert Benchley (1889 - 1945) Whoso would be a man must be a nonconformist. --- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882) My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was. --- Rodney Dangerfield (1921 - 2004) It's a lot like nature. You only have as many animals as the ecosystem can support and you only have as many friends as you can tolerate the bitching of. --- Randy K. Milholland ____________________________________________________ Bonehead Award Over $1.3M in fentanyl, meth seized in Arizona ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ History on this day, Sept 18, in 1830, The "Tom Thumb", the first locomotive built in America, raced a horse on a nine-mile course. The horse won when the locomotive had some mechanical difficulties. ____________________________________________________ A mother and her daughter were shopping in a mall one day when the mother spied an expensive fur coat. She tried it on and stood in front of the mirror admiring the look and stroking the fur. "This year, I think I'll get myself a birthday present," she said. "But mom," her daughter protested, "some helpless, poor creature has to suffer so that you can have this." "Don't worry, honey. Your father won't get the VISA bill for a couple of weeks." __________________________________________________ Thanks to Jean for sending this picture:   __________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ A minister had his remaining teeth pulled and new dentures made. His usual sermon lasts about half an hour or a little more, but the first Sunday after his dental work he preaches only five minutes. The second Sunday, he is good for 15 minutes. But on the third Sunday he gets going and doesn't stop for an hour and a half. "What's going on, Reverend?" a member of the congregation asked. "The first Sunday, my gums were so sore it hurt to talk. The second Sunday, my dentures were hurting a lot. The third Sunday, I accidentally grabbed my wife's dentures as I was heading out the door and I simply could not stop talking." ___________________________________________________ Consider the scoutmaster and his wife driving along a rural highway only to find the road blocked by a herd of cows which had escaped through a broken fence. The scoutmaster tries honking his horn to scare the cattle from the pavement, but to no avail. The horn is dead. He gets out of the car, lifts the hood, and sees the problem -- a loose wire. He hooks it up again and gets back in the car. His wife asks him if he had any luck. "Yep," he replies. "Beep repaired." __________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________ .A lawyer tells his client: "I have some good news, and I have some bad news." The client says, "I could use some good news. What is it?" "You ex-wife is not making you pay her on any inheritance you receive." "And the bad news?" "She's marrying your father ___________________________________________________ Consider the intern who discovers while working she is almost out of typing paper. Wondering what to do, she turns to her supervisor. "Just use copy machine paper," her boss says. With that, the intern takes her last remaining blank piece of paper, puts it on the photocopier -- then proceeds to make five blank copies. _____________________________________________________  DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Becky Re: Why not W10? Dear Webby, With all this frantic and hysterical blather about Windows 7 being no longer supported, why do you recommend hanging on to it as long as we can? Becky  Dear Becky Your machine will not handle W10 very well. W10 needs twice as much RAM as your machine has. They know, you will most definitely get fed up with a slow and sluggish machine and make an W10 salesman and a herd of Chinese factory workers happy. Yes, sure, Microsoft probably owns alot of shares in DELL and HP, and is doing a lot of the scaring, but consider this: have you EVER gotten any usable support from Microsoft? Me neither. I know you got a wireless 5 button Logitech mouse, that has worked fine for years. It won't on W10. W10 will claim it is a Microsoft 2 button mouse, and you will have to buy a new mouse too. Or networking to your other W7 machines. Forget it. Copy stuff onto a camera chip and run it over to the W10 machine. They want you to switch ALL of your machines to W10. HOWEVER, Home There MAY be a few people, who CAN network W7 to W10 machines, but they seem to be too busy to answer email. If you buy a brand new computer with at least 8 GB of RAM, W10 will work, once you get used to the insane way everything is disorganized. Keep in mind, Microsoft murdered HomeGroup. If you have two or more machines, THAT fact will endless cussing and swearing. You are back to Windows 3 Sneaker Net. Some say, in 5 year5 or ten you might even get to like W10. MIGHT. Until then, there is a lot of cussing and swearing. Why? Nobody knows. Bad dope, probably. So, hang on to your W7 machine as long as you can. Have FUN! DearWebby ________________________________________________ Consider the three friends who die in a car crash and are met at the Pearly Gates with the same question: "When you're lying in your casket, and friends and family are mourning over you, what would you like to hear them say about you?" The first guy immediately responds, "I would like to hear them say that I was one of the great doctors of my time and a great family man." The second guy says, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher who made a huge difference in the children of tomorrow." The last guy thinks for a moment, and then replies, "I guess I'd like to hear them say, 'Look, he's moving!'" ___________________________________________________ A 16-year-old girl buys herself a very skimpy bikini. Modeling it for her mother, she asks: "So, Mom, what do you think?" Her mother replies, "I think that if I had worn that when I was your age, you'd be five years older!" ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ A fellow who was discussing his health with his doctor after his annual physical. "You had a great checkup," said the doc. "Is there anything that you'd like to talk about or ask me?" " Well," said the man, "I was thinking about getting a vasectomy." "That's a pretty big decision. Have you talked it over with your family?" "Yeah, and they're in favor 17 to 2." _______________________________________________ A Bonehead award has been reported by Rock  Jorge Baldovinos-Jimenez, 25, Maricopa Jail Arizona USA  Over $1.3M in fentanyl, meth seized in Arizona  An Arizona Dept. of Public Safety trooper made a million- dollar drug bust during a traffic stop near Fort McDowell, officials announced Thursday. The trooper pulled over a car along State Route 87 at milepost 197 two weeks ago and discovered nearly 110 pounds of methamphetamine and more than 80 pounds of fentanyl stashed inside suitcases. The total value of the drugs are estimated to be around $119,000 for the meth and $1.2 million for the fentanyl, according to DPS. Jorge Baldovinos-Jimenez, 25, was arrested and is accused of drug possession and transportation. He was booked into Maricopa County Jail. Investigators believe the drugs were heading from Phoenix to Denver. __________________________________________________ History Today Sept 18, in 1759, The French formally surrendered Quebec to the British. 1769, It was reported, by the Boston Gazette, that the first piano had been built in North America. The instrument was named the spinet and was made by John Harris. 1789, Alexander Hamilton negotiated and secured the first loan for the United States. The Temporary Loan of 1789 was repaid on June 8, 1790 at the sum of $191,608.81. 1793, U.S. President George Washington laid the actual cornerstone of the U.S. Capitol. 1810, Chile declared its independence from Spain. 1830, The "Tom Thumb", the first locomotive built in America, raced a horse on a nine-mile course. The horse won when the locomotive had some mechanical difficulties. 1837, Tiffany & Co. was founeded in New York City. 1850, The Fugitive Slave Act was declared by the U.S. Congress. The act allowed slave owners to claim slaves that had escaped into other states. 1851, The first issue of "The New York Times" was published. 1891, Harriet Maxwell Converse became the first white woman to ever be named chief of an Indian tribe. The tribe was the Six Nations Tribe at Towanda Reservation in New York. 1895, Daniel David Palmer gave the first chiropractic adjustment. 1927, Columbia Phonograph Broadcasting System made its debut with its network broadcast over 16 radio stations. The name was later changed to CBS. 1940, "You Can't Go Home Again" by Thomas Wolfe was published by Harper and Brothers. 1946, Mound Metalcraft was founded in Mound, MN. On November 23, 1955, the company changed its name to Tonka Toys Incorporated. 1947, The United States Air Force was established as a separate military branch by the National Security Act. 1955, The "Ed Sullivan Show" began on CBS-TV. The show had been "The Toast of the Town" since 1948. 1965, The first episode of "I Dream of Jeannie" was shown on NBC-TV. The last show was televised on September 1, 1970. 1981, A museum honoring former U.S. President Ford was dedicated in Grand Rapids, MI. 1991, U.S. President George H.W. Bush said that he would send warplanes to escort U.N. helicopters that were searching for hidden Iraqi weapons if it became necessary. 1994, Haiti's military leaders agreed to depart on October 15th. This action averted a U.S.-led invasion to force them out of power. 1997, Ted Turner, U.S. Media magnate, announced that over the next ten years he would give $1 billion to the United Nations. 1998, The U.S. House Judiciary Committee voted to release to videotape of President Clinton's grand jury testimony from August 17. 1998, The FDA approved a once-a-day easier-to-swallow medication for AIDS patients. 2023, Do smiled. Thanks to Jean for sending this picture:  

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