Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, July 24  ___________________________________________________ History on this day, July 24, in 1948, Soviet occupation forces in Germany blockaded West Berlin. The U.S.-British airlift began the following day. ____________________________________________________ Bonehead Award 4-Year-Old Opens Fire While Dad Is Being Arrested __________________________________________________ Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love. --- Charles M. Schulz (1922 - 2000) I once said cynically of a politician, 'He'll doublecross that bridge when he comes to it.' --- Oscar Levant (1906 - 1972) _________________________________________________ The day I got married was really embarrassing. When the minister said, If anyone present doesn't agree with this marriage; speak now or forever hold your peace. I turned around and noticed her family had formed a double line, and they were carrying shotguns. __________________________________________________ Susan was telling her boyfriend, Bill "According to archaeologists, for millions of years the Neanderthal man was not fully erect." And Bill's reply was, that's pretty easy to understand considering how ugly the Neanderthal women were! That is how he met Susan's frying pan. ___________________________________________________ Darryl and Harold were in a mental institution. The place had an unusual annual contest, picking two of the best patients and giving them two questions. If they got them correct, they were deemed cured and free to go. Darryl was called into the doctor's office first and asked if he understood that he'd be free if he answered the questions correctly. Darryl said "yes" and the doctor proceeded. "Darryl, what would happen if I poked out one of your eyes?" Darryl said, "I'd be half blind." "That's correct. What if I poked out both eyes?" "I'd be completely blind." The doctor stood up, shook Darryl's hand, and told him he was free to go. On Darryl's way out, as the doctor filled out the paperwork, Darryl mentioned the exam to Harold, who was seated in the waiting room. He told him what questions were going to be asked and gave him the answers. So Harold went into the doctor's office when he was called. The doctor went thru the formalities and then asked, "What would happen if I cut off one of your ears?" Remembering what Darryl had told him, he answered, "I'd be half blind." The doctor looked a little puzzled, but went on. "What if I cut off the other ear?" "I'd be completely blind," Harold answered." "Harold, can you explain how you'd be blind?" "My hat would fall down over my eyes." __________________________________________________ >Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Salt Lake County jail, Utah, USA  4-Year-Old Opens Fire While Dad Is Being Arrested  Police are often placed in situations where they have to make life-or-death decisions in an instant. Thanks to the attitudes of the establishment media, the results of those consequential choices usually only get publicized if police can be blamed for making the wrong call. However, now dramatic body cam footage was released where police successfully handled a dangerous situation in which a 4-year-old boy used his fathers gun to open fire on the officers. They were able to disarm the child before anyone got hurt beyond the graze wound on the office, who had slapped the gun away. ABC4 in Utah linked highlights from the videos and summarized the events that took place on February 21. The police were summoned when employees reported that a man brandished a gun in the drive-thru after he claimed that his order was incorrect. Sadaat Johnson, 27, was in the McDonalds drive-thru with two children in the car, a 4-year-old and a 3-year-old. Johnson did not comply with police instructions, and the situation escalated until officers were forced to pull Johnson from the vehicle. The video does not show what happened next in the car. While the police were making the arrest of Johnson, the 4- year-old boy picked up the gun. An officer saw the weapon and shouted Gun! ABC4 reported, The officer used his hand to slap the gun away and the gun went off, hitting the upper part of the McDonalds building. The officer then yelled at the person inside of the car to drop the gun, and after looking inside the car, realized that it was a small child. The children can be heard crying as they exit the car. The officers ask Are you all right, kid? and try to reassure them: Its okay, its okay. The discharge may have been accidental. However as reported in the New York Post, The investigation showed that Johnson then told the child to shoot at the police, authorities said. It was not clear exactly when he gave the order and it was not caught in the bodycam clip. The boy who was taken into protective custody said he shot at the cops because he wanted his daddy back, according to court records obtained by ABC4. Johnson also explained to the authorities this wasnt the first time his 4-year-old child had gotten his hands on a gun. Johnson ended up pleading guilty to two third-degree felonies, child abuse or neglect and aggravated assault. Johnson was sentenced to 120 days in jail, three years of probation and courses on anger management and parenting. He can no longer own guns. Salt Lake County Sheriff Rosie Rivera told KTVX shes never seen anything like a 4-year-old shooting at law enforcement and that it is evidence that the campaign against police has gotten out of hand. A huge contributing factor to this near-disaster was Johnsons disrespect and disregard for the police. This attitude leads to more danger in police interactions, despite the absurd progressive activist campaign to defund the police based on claims that its police presence that starts the problems. The trouble was caused due to a series of bad decisions and actions by Sadaat Johnson, as much as some want to blame the gun or the cops instead. _____________________________________________________ "And what was the culmination of events that led you to file this action," asked the man's attorney in the divorce hearing. "All through our marriage my wife was less than fully responsive to my sexual initiatives," replied the husband, "but the clincher came one morning at the breakfast table." "Why? What happened?" "She announced, 'Just so you don't get your hopes up, I'm already beginning to get a headache.'" _____________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits  From: Francine Re: Why PNG all of a sudden? Dear Webby You recommended .JPG. Why .PNG all of a sudden? Francine  Dear Francine .JPG uses lossy compression. It throws pixels away, and you can never get them back. That is great, if you have finished messing with it, and now just want a small file size. .PNG does not throw unused pixels away, it just hides them. If there is ANY danger, that you might have to revert to a previous size, use PNG. Then, when everything is perfect, THAT is the time to save it as .JPG Have FUN! DearWebby ________________________________________________ >From Kerry I was self-conscious about going to the gym, because I thought the pounds I had put on would make me stand out among the spandex-clad regulars. I chose a treadmill in the corner so I'd be inconspicuous. However, as I exercised, my worst fears came true. At least a dozen people turned to stare at me periodically. I thought it might be my imagination, but then one woman even squinted to get a better look. Mortified, I stepped off the machine to leave. When I turned around, I realized that the gym's only wall clock had been hanging just inches above my head. ___________________________________________________ Things it takes most of us 70 years to learn: 1. The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of helicopters in it. 2. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight-saving time. 3. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment. 4. The most powerful force in the universe is: gossip. 5. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers. 6. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is: age 11. 7. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness." 8. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them. 9. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings." 10. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them. 11. If there really is a God who created the entire universe with all of its glories, and he decides to deliver a message to humanity, he will NOT use as his messenger a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle or in some cases, really bad make-up too. 12. You should not confuse your career with your life. 13. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter/janitor, is not a nice person. 14. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously. 15. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy. 16. Your true friends love you, anyway. 17. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance. ____________________________________________________   Cinnamon Blackie near Greenview, AB Micheline Thiberge ___________________________________________________ While making rounds, a doctor points out an X-ray to a group of medical students. "As you can see," she says, "the patient limps because his left fibula and tibia are radically arched. Michael, what would you do in a case like this?" "I suppose, I would walk funny too." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! If you like my work,Please donate a dollar, or two, if you can afford it! Please, help me stay online! _____________________________________________________ A woman goes to the supermarket. She starts walking up and down the aisles. Each aisle she goes to she touches her head, her ears, her breasts, and her crotch. After doing this a number of times a man approaches her and ask if she is having a problem. She tells him no. He says that he would like to know what she is doing at the beginning of each aisle. She says she is trying to remember her grocery list. He seems puzzled and asks her for an explanation. She goes through the motions saying: One head of lettuce, 2 ears of corn, 2 breasts of chicken, and some Fantastic. _____________________________________________________   Mark E Tisdale Bodie Island lighthouse on a rainy night. The current tower was built in 1872 and will celebrate its 150th birthday in October of this year. ____________________________________________________ "I wish more of my patients were as stoic as you," said the dentist admiringly. "Now, which tooth is it?" Mrs. Smith turned to her husband: "Show him your tooth, honey!" ______________________________________________________ 
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 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 
 Today, July 24, in 1847, Mormon leader Brigham Young and his followers arrived in the valley of the Great Salt Lake in present-day Utah. 1847, Richard M. Hoe patented the rotary-type printing press. 1866, Tennessee became the first state to be readmitted to the Union after the U.S. Civil War. 1923, The Treaty of Lausanne, which settled the boundaries of modern Turkey, was concluded in Switzerland. 1929, U.S. President Hoover proclaimed the Kellogg-Briand Pact, which renounced war as an instrument of foreign policy. 1933, The first broadcast of "The Romance of Helen Trent" was heard on radio. 7,222 episodes were aired. 1933, U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt gave his fourth "Fireside Chat." 1948, Soviet occupation forces in Germany blockaded West Berlin. The U.S.-British airlift began the following day. 1969, The Apollo 11 astronauts splashed down safely in the Pacific Ocean. 1974, The U.S. Supreme Court unanimously ruled that President Nixon had to turn over subpoenaed White House tape recordings to the Watergate special prosecutor. 1985, Walt Disney released their 25th full-length cartoon. The work was "The Black Cauldron." 1987, Hulda Crooks, at 91 years of age, climbed Mt. Fuji. Hulda became the oldest person to climb Japans highest peak. 2022 Do! smiled. 

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!