Good Morning, Do! Today is Tuesday, October 13 ___________________________________________________ International Bonehead Award 1 arrested, 3 still wanted for shooting man during armed robbery in Lindsay _____________________________________________________ Today, October 13 in 1943 During World War II, Italy changed sides, signed an armistice with the Allies and declared war on Germany. _____________________________________________________ I passionately hate the idea of being with it, I think an artist has always to be out of step with his time. --- Orson Welles (1915 - 1985) _____________________________________________________ Kyle and Justin were about to eat with the baby-sitter when 6 year old, Kyle said, "You can't sit in Daddy's seat" Daddy's not home," the babysitter replied. "Since I'm responsible for you while he's gone, I can sit here. Today I'm the boss" Justin, the 4 year old, quickly piped up, "If you're the boss, you sit over there." He pointed to his mother's chair. _____________________________________________________ 6 bucks in Madden, Alberta Michael Squance ___________________________________________________ Pull him out before the train ran him over. They were all shouting, "Give me your hand!" But the man would not reach up. Joe elbowed his way through the crowd and leaned over the man. "Friend," he asked, "What is your profession?" I am an IRS agent," gasped the man. "In that case," said Joe, "Take my hand!" The IRS agent immediately grasped the Joe's hand and was hauled to safety. Joe turned to the amazed by-standers and declared, "Never ask an IRS agent to "give" you anything, you fools!" ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jessica Loza 32, Lindsay, California, USA 1 arrested, 3 still wanted for shooting man during armed robbery in Lindsay A woman was arrested after police say she was involved in the shooting of a man during an armed robbery in Lindsay. Tulare County sheriff's deputies say 32-year-old Jessica Loza of Visalia was one of four suspects who walked up to a man on Foothill Avenue at robbed him at gunpoint on August 31. Detectives arrested Loza, and she's facing multiple charges, including attempted murder and robbery. The search is on for the three other suspects involved in the robbery. The sheriff's office did not provide descriptions but says they are considered armed and dangerous. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Linda RE: W12 Dear Webby, I read that W12 is out. Is that true? Does netwoking work in that? Linda Dear Linda According to Microsoft there is no such thing as W12. There was for a short time, but it didn't work. Yes, I know, W10 does not work well either, but that is beside the point. Officially all you get from the throne is updates, that will add incremental bug fixes. Networking? Fahgeddaboudid. Get a 32GB or 64 GB camera chip or USB stick, and some fashionable senior fleece slippers, ahem, I mean sneakers. Drag your files onto the USB stick, and carry it over to your Sweetie. It is a friendlier way of networking and does not involve any cussing. If you don't like being groped, just throw the USB stick and have the boss catch it with his butterfly net. Sneaker Net Works! You can, of course, also use Skype or ZOOM. Skype has worked just fine for hassle free intercontinental networking for about 25 years. That is why Microsoft paid over 8 Billion dollars for it to prevent Google from getting it. They have messed with it since then and downgraded it some, but it still works. Have FUN! DearWebby | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ In California's Sonoma Valley, where vineyards cater to wine snobbery, a woman phoned the classified ad department of a newspaper. She offered for sale what sounded like "well-aged Caumeneur." The ad-taker was unfamiliar with that particular, wine, but was used to the infusion of French words into the local vocabulary. "Could you please spell that?" she asked. "You know," said the woman impatiently, "C-o-w M-a-n-u-r-e." ____________________________________________ TOP 10 WAYS TO TELL SOMEONE THEIR ZIPPER IS UNZIPPED: 10. The cucumber has left the salad. 9. Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his bells. 8. You need to bring your tray table to the upright and locked position. 7. Paging Mr. Johnson...Paging Mr. Johnson. 6. Elvis has left the building. 5. The Buick is not all the way in the garage 4. Our next guest is someone who needs no introduction. 3. You've got a security breach at Los Pantalones. 2. Men may be from Mars. But I can see something that rhymes with Venus. And the #1 Way to tell someone their zipper is unzipped... 1. You've got your fly set for "Monica" instead of "Hillary" ____________________________________________ A man and a little boy entered a barbershop together. After the man received the full treatment - shave, manicure, haircut, etc. - he placed the boy in the chair. "I'm goin' to buy a green tie to wear for the parade," he said. "I'll be back in a few minutes." When the boy's haircut was done and the man still hadn't returned, the barber said, "It looks like your daddy forgot all about you." "That wasn't my daddy," said the boy. "He just walked up, took me by the hand and said, 'Come on, sonny, we're gonna get us a free haircut!'" ____________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today October 13 in 1775 The U.S. Continental Congress ordered the construction of a naval fleet. 1792 The cornerstone of the Executive Mansion was laid in Washington, DC. The building became known as the White House in 1818 after it was refurbished and whitewashed after it had been burned by Canucks in 1812. 1812 American forces were defeated at the Battle of Queenstown Heights. The British victory effectively ended an further U.S. invasion of Canada. 1843 B'nai B'rith, the Jewish organization, was founded by Henry Jones and eleven others in New York City, NY. 1854 The state of Texas ratified a state constitution. 1943 During World War II, Italy signed an armistice with the Allies and declared war on Germany. 1944 American troops entered Aachen, Germany, during World War II. 1944 During World War II, British and Greek advance units landed at Piraeus. 1951 In Atlanta, GA, a football with a rubber covering was used for the first time. Georgia Tech beat Louisiana State 25-7. 1953 An ultrasonic burglar alarm was patented by Samuel Bagno. 1957 Bing Crosby and Frank Sinatra introduced the Ford Edsel on an hour long special. 1981 Egyptian voters elected Vice President Hosni Mubarak as the new president one week after Anwar Sadat was assassinated. 1989 U.S. President George H.W. Bush called for an overthrow of the Panamanian ruler Manuel Antonio Noriega. 1992 A commercial flight record was set by an Air France supersonic jetliner for circling the Earth in 33 hours and one minute. 1995 Walt Disney World Resort admitted its 500-millionth guest. Disney movies, music and books 2010 Near Copiap, Chile, 33 miners were trapped underground in San Jos Mine. The miners were rescued after 69 days underground. 2020 Do smiled. |
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