Good Morning, Do! Today is Tuesday, February 12 Today it warmed up to almost 20, MINUS 20. Yesterday, when I brought the garbage out, it was -32. The kids at the school across the street were on break, yelling and screeching and running around just like in summer. It did not bother them one bit, and some were stockpiling snow balls, in case a teacher came outside. They had a good time. Today's Bonehead Award: Naked woman chased man out of hotel and through traffic claiming 'I'm not crazy.' ______________________________________________________ Today, February 12 in 1973 The State of Ohio went metric, becoming the first in the U.S. to post metric distance signs. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Knowledge is power, if you know it about the right person. --- Ethel Mumford ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A man who had just undergone a very complicated operation kept complaining about a bump on his head and a terrible headache. Since his operation had been an intestinal one, there was no earthly reason why he should be complaining of a headache. Finally his nurse, fearing that the man might be suffering from some post-operative shock, spoke to the doctor about it. The doctor assured the nurse, "Don't worry about a thing. He really does have a bump on his head. About halfway through the operation we ran out of gas and the anesthetic nurse had to bean him with the fire extinguisher." _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ During jury selection for one trial, the judge asked potential Juror No. 12 if there was any reason he could not be a fair and impartial juror. "There may be," he replied. "Juror No. 1 is my ex-wife, and if we were on the same jury, I guarantee we would not be able to agree on anything." Both were excused. ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Kerri Smith, 47, Dante Hedgepath York, Pennsylvania Naked woman chased man out of hotel and through traffic claiming 'I'm not crazy Kerri Smith, 47, was arrested after she was seen chasing Dante Hedgepath out of a Super 8 Motel and across a street in York, Pennsylvania on Friday. According to authorities, Hedgepath said he got 'freaked out' and left the room but Smith followed him, completely naked, through the lobby screaming for him to come back. Hedgepath later told police that he got a hotel room with Smith, but decided to leave after she began 'acting crazy' and saying they were going to 'have kids and start a life together,' according to the affidavit. Police found the pair in the hotel parking lot and immediately took Smith into custody in the back of their cruiser, according to CBS 21. Both Smith and Hedgepath had a strong 'intoxicating odor' on their breath, police said. Smith told police that 'something inside me told me to go after him' and she kept repeating 'I love him' and 'I'm not crazy.' Officers later found Hedgepath to be in posession of an open, half full bottle of Grey Goose cherry flavored vodka, marijuana, a silver metal grinder containing marijuana residue, and three pill bottles with assorted pills in them prompting his arrest. He told police that he had a Medical Marijuana Card and claimed that he purchased the marijuana at a dispensary, but could not provide any proof of purchase. Both he and Smith were taken to a local jail where they were booked and a female Sheriff's Deputy gave Smith a blanket, as well as some clothes to wear Smith was charged with indecent exposure, open lewdness, disorderly conduct, and public drunkenness. Authorities did not specify the charges against Hedgepath. Both were released for processing and arraignment. From: Claudia Re: Blocked by Microsoft Dear DearWebby, I know it is a scam that attacks and blocks the browser, preternding to be Microsoft. Microsoft attacks by replacing perfectly working stuff with awkward nuisances, but they don't block the browser and demand that I call their 1-800 number. I am using Chrome, my daughter uses FireFox, and the same crap happens on her computer. We are not networked, she lives downtown. So, how do I get out of that attack, and how do I prevent it happening again? Claudia Dear Claudia CTRL SHIFT ESC brings up the task manager. Kill all instances of Chrome. There will be one for each open tab. Yes, I know, that is stupid, and I have told them that a number of times. After you have killed enough Chrome tabs, it will crash and go away. Get some coffee. By the time you come back, all Chrome instances in the Task Manager should be gone. Restart Chrome. RESIST their offer to re-open the 57 tabs, that you had open. One or more of them would be the hacker attack. Once you have a fresh browser page open, Yes, Chrome steals your home page and pesters you with theirs. Just ignore that childish stunt. Hit CTRL H That gives you the browser History. Checkmark anything that has Microsoft in the subject, and also anything, you are no longer interested in. Hit the DELETE key and the ENTER key. Now your bowser is saved and the hacker attack is gone. That attack is NOT a file on your hard drive. It is on Google's Cloud drive and in the browser. MalwareBytes can only nuke bad stuff on your hard drive and in YOUR computer's memory. It's can't go clean Google's server farms in Mexifornia, or Firefox's server farms. If you are smart enough to have MalwareBytes, then check out the Malwarebytes browser extension beta for Chrome and Firefox and say goodbye to tech support scams and many other web threats! If you don't have MalwareBytes yet, get at least the free version! Here are the Extensions: For Google For FireFox The browser extension MAY work, if you don't have MalwarBytes, but don't expect free updates, if you haven't got it. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. "I see you bought a new car. What's the make?" "A Perndle." "I've never heard of a Perndle before." "Me neither, but that's what it says, right over the steering wheel: P-R-N-D-L." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Leroy was telling his friend Bubba about the date he had the night before, "It was a bummer. She used four letter words all evening." Bubba exclaimed, "Really? I can't believe you didn't enjoy that." "Guess again," said Leroy, "All night she kept saying 'Quit,' 'Stop,' and 'Don't!'" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Loading a Moving Truck Make sure to stack breakable items towards the top and put the items that you want to get to first in the truck last. Load items as tightly as possible to prevent boxes from shifting while driving. Tie large furniture or appliances to the wall to prevent slipping. Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ While touring historic buildings in Alexandria, Virginia, we visited an old church. The guide told us that George Washington had attended services there and pointed to his pew. A reverent silence fell. The guide, encouraged by this, went on to tell us that church services back then had been very lengthy - - frequently lasting three hours or more. The mood of the moment was shattered when an anonymous voice whispered loudly, "So George Washington slept here too!" ___________________________________________________ >From Anna My wife-to-be and I were at the county clerk's office to get our marriage license. After recording the vital information; names, dates of birth, etc. the clerk handed me our license and deadpanned, "No refunds, no exchanges, no warranties." ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
Noella's Special Brownies Remove teddy bear from oven and preheat oven to 375. Melt 1 cup margarine in saucepan. Remove teddy bear from oven and tell Jr. "no, no." Add margarine to 2 cups sugar. Take shortening can away from Jr. and clean cupboards. Measure 1/3 cup cocoa. Take shortening can away from Jr. again and bathe cat. Apply antiseptic and bandages to scratches sustained while removing shortening from cat's tail. Assemble 4 eggs, 2 tsp. vanilla, and 1-1/2 cups sifted flour. Take smoldering teddy bear from oven and open all doors and windows for ventilation. Take telephone away from Billy and assure party on the line the call was a mistake. Call operator and attempt to have direct dialed call removed from bill. Measure 1 tsp. salt, 1/2 cup nuts and beat all ingredients well. Let cat out of refrigerator. Pour mixture into well-greased 9x13-inch pan. Bake 25 minutes. Rescue cat and take razor away from Billy. Explain to kids that you have no idea if shaved cats will sunburn. Throw cat outside while there's still time and he's still able to run away. FROSTING Mix the following in saucepan: 1 cup sugar 1 oz unsweetened chocolate 1/4 cup margarine Take the darn teddy bear out of the @#$% broiler and throw it away -- far away. Answer the door and meekly explain to nice policeman that you didn't intend to make a political statement by throwing a burning teddybear into the mayor's convertible.. Add 1/3 cup milk, dash of salt, and boil, stirring constantly for 2 minutes. Answer door and apologize to neighbor for Billy having stuck a garden hose in man's front door mail slot. Promise to pay for ruined carpet. Tie Billy to clothesline. Move smoking brownies from oven to the shower. ___________________________________________________ | Today February 12 in 1554 Lady Jane Grey was beheaded after being charged with treason. She had claimed the throne of England for only nine days. 1733 Savannah, GA, was founded by English colonist James Oglethorpe. 1870 In the Utah Territory, women gained the right to vote. 1879 The first artificial ice rink opened in North America. It was at Madison Square Garden in New York City, NY. 1880 The National Croquet League was organized in Philadelphia, PA. 1892 In the U.S., President Lincoln's birthday was declared to be a national holiday. 1907 A collision of the steamer Larchmont and a schooler resulted in the death of more than 300 people. The incident occurred off New England's Block Island. 1909 The National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) was founded. 1912 China's boy emperor Hsuan T'ung announced that he was abdicating, ending the Manchu Ch'ing dynasty. Subsequently, the Republic of China was established. 1918 All theatres in New York City were shut down in an effort to conserve coal. 1924 U.S. President Calvin Coolidge made the first presidential political speech on radio. 1924 "The Eveready Hour" became radio's first sponsored network program. The National Carbon Company was the first sponsor of a network show. 1940 Mutual Radio presented the first broadcast of the radio play "The Adventures of Superman." 1968 "Soul on Ice" by Eldridge Cleaver was published for the first time. 1971 James Cash (J.C.) Penney died at the age of 95. The company closed for business for one-half day as a memorial to the company's founder. 1973 The State of Ohio went metric, becoming the first in the U.S. to post metric distance signs. 1973 American prisoners of war were released for the first time during the Vietnam conflict. 1985 Johnny Carson surprised his audience by shaving the beard he had been wearing on "The Tonight Show." 1993 In Liverpool, England, a 2-year-old boy, James Bulger, was lured away from his mother at a shopping mall and beaten to death. Two ten-year-old boys were responsible. 1998 A U.S. federal judge declared that the presidential line- item veto was unconstitutional. 1999 U.S. President Clinton was acquitted by the U.S. Senate on two impeachment articles. The charges were perjury and obstruction of justice. 2001 The space probe NEAR landed on the asteroid Eros. It was the first time that any craft had landed on a small space rock. 2002 Kenneth Lay, former Enron CEO, exercised his constitutional rights and refused to testify to the U.S. Congress about the collapse of Enron. 2002 The trial of former Yugoslav President Slobodan Milosevic began at the U.N. tribunal in The Hague. Milosevic was accused of war crimes during the Balkan wars of the 1990s. 2002 Pakistan charged three men in connection with the kidnapping of Wall Street Journal reporter Daniel Pearl in Karachi. 2002 Princess Stephanie of Monaco and Franco Knie won a defamation-of-character lawsuit against the Swiss magazine "Facts." The case involved a photomontage created by the magazine. 2003 The U.N. nuclear agency declared North Korea in violation of international treaties. The complaint was sent to the Security Council. 2004 Mattel announced that "Barbie" and "Ken" were breaking up. The dolls had met on the set of their first television commercial together in 1961. 2013 North Korea conducted its third underground nuclear test. 2019 Do smiled. |
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