Good Morning, Do, Today is Tuesday, March 27 Easter Have FUN! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Once again, the only thing that stopped a bad guy with a gun was a good guy with a gun Bonehead ______________________________________________________ Today, March 27 in 1836 In Goliad, TX, about 350 Texan prisoners, including their commander James Fannin, were executed under orders from Gen. Antonio Lpez de Santa Anna. An estimated 30 Texans escaped execution. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
______________________________________________________ Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months. --- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900) _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ After a church service on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother, "Mom, I've decided to become a minister when I grow up." "That's okay with us, but what made you decide that?" "Well," said the little boy, "I have to go to church on Sunday anyway, and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell, than to sit and listen." ______________________________________________________ After the christening of his baby brother in church, little Johnny sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied, "That priest said he wanted us brought up in a good Christian home, but I want to stay with you guys instead!" _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Hey! Where is my bread? Good bread! I don't have a trail camera, and the one with the key-fob remote control died 20 years ago. So I have to shoot through the storm door. The deer don't mind me being just a foot away, as long as I am on the other side of the door, but they run if I as much as stick an arm out the door. The storm door makes the pictures rough, but you get the idea. _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! _____________________________________________________ A man walked into a dress shop and told the clerk he wanted to buy an evening gown for his wife for Christmas. "What size?" asked the clerk. The man shrugged blankly. Trying to help, the clerk inquired, "Well then, what are your wife's measurements?" The man thought for a moment. "Small, medium, and large, in that order." _____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Trystan Delk, Atlanta, Georgia Once again, the only thing that stopped a bad guy with a gun was a good guy with a gun In Atlanta, a woman almost became another crime statistic until her son stepped in. When an armed thug tried to carjack a woman, he wasn't stopped by a gun ban, a gun-free zone, or good feelings. He was stopped by a son who was killing to use a gun to save his mother. This wasn't the first time the suspect, Trystan Delk (pictured above, from a previous arrest), had tried to rob someone that day. He won't get the chance to rob anyone else for a long time. A Fulton County woman came face to face with an armed robber Thursday afternoon. I was taking my grandson to doctor's appointment and had one foot in the car when suddenly a car was blocking my driveway, the woman said. The woman doesn't want to be identified but told FOX 5 News, the driver immediately got out and rushed to her. He said 'Whose car is this? Give me the keys, the woman said. Fulton County Police have identified the robber as Trystan Delk. I started screaming so loud that my son who was inside at the time heard me and came out to help, the woman said. Police said the woman's son fired shots at Delk, hitting him multiple times. He still managed to drive himself to a nearby fire station where he tried to play the victim, the woman said. He told them that he was the victim of an interstate shooting. The woman said shortly after police put two and two together. I also found out that my neighbor was also targeted just a few minutes before I was, the woman said. Police said Delk faces armed robbery charges. I hope for his sake he doesn't come back or anyone for that matter, the woman said. Because this time I'll be waiting. Tech Support Pits From: Tanya Re: clocks Dear Webby Are those clock screensavers the little bottom clocks, that we used to have, that were suddenly axed by Microsoft without any explanation? Or do these just work when the screen saver comes on? Tanya Dear Tanya These just work, when the screen saver comes on. The little bottom clocks were axed, because some sleazebag produced a whole bunch of them and bundled them with some rather nasty malware. The clocks were OK, but the payload was really bad, and Microsoft figured the fastest way to put a stop to that was to simply axe the abilitiry to have cute bottom clocks. Microsoft has since then relented and if you enable Sidebar.exe, you can have your analog bottom clock and even gauges for memory and CPU. Have FUN! DearWebby The old lady was aging more rapidly than he wanted. "Your gout is getting worse," said the doctor. "I recommend that you give up smoking, drinking and sex for a while." "WHAT!" screamed the woman, "just so's I can walk a little better? If it wasn't for smoking, drinking and sex I wouldn't get out of my rocker in the first place!" Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. Pete had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn't do something about it. So Pete went to his doctor who gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went to bed. Pete slept well and in fact beat the alarm in the morning. He had a leisurely breakfast and drove cheerfully to work. "Boss", he said, "The pill actually worked!" "That's all fine" said the boss, "But where were you yesterday?" | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?" "Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. "How do you know that?" "Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer." ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thrifty Gift Tags Cut the top part of used greeting cards off, then cut this down to whatever size (and shape) you wish, depending on the design. (If it's an angel, just cut her out.) I also like to use hearts or other shapes that perhaps match the occasion for the gift you will use them on. Punch a hole in it, write your sentiments on the back, and attach to your package with a colored ribbon or raffia. By Patricia Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ Mrs. Johnson decided to have her portrait painted by a famous artist. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets and a ruby pendant." "But you are not wearing any of those things." "I know," said Mrs. Johnson. "My health is not good and my husband is having an affair with his secretary. When I die I'm sure he will marry her, and I want her to go nuts looking for the jewelry." | A mid century ranch house hides a literal treasure trove of unique rocks and minerals. |
___________________________________________________ Classic from Glenn A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about. For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover. In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife's bedside. She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box. When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of money totaling $95,000. He asked her about the contents. "When we were to be married," she said, "my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll." The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears. Only two precious dolls were in the box.. She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with happiness. "Honey," he said, "that explains the dolls, but what about all of this money? Where did it come from?" "Oh," she said, "that's the money I made from selling the dolls." ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
____________________________________________________ | Today, March 27 in 1794 The U.S. Congress authorized the creation of the U.S. Navy. 1802 The Treaty of Amiens was signed ending the French Revolutionary War. 1836 In Goliad, TX, about 350 Texan prisoners, including their commander James Fannin, were executed under orders from Gen. Antonio Lpez de Santa Anna. An estimated 30 Texans escaped execution. 1836 The first Mormon temple was dedicated in Kirtland, OH. 1841 The first steam fire engine was tested in New York City. The steam engine was for pumping only, not for driving. 1860 The corkscrew was patented by M.L. Byrn. 1884 The first long-distance telephone call was made from Boston to New York. 1899 The first international radio transmission between England and France was achieved by the Italian inventor G. Marconi. 1900 The London Parliament passed the War Loan Act that gave 35 million pounds to fighting the Boers in South Africa. 1900 The Russian army mobilized 250,000 troops for active duty. 1901 Filipino rebel leader Emilio Aguinaldo was captured by the U.S. 1904 Mary Jarris "Mother" Jones was ordered by Colorado state authorities to leave the state. She was accused of stirring up striking coal miners. 1907 French troops occupied Oudja, Morocco, as a punitive action for the murder of French Dr. Muchamp. 1912 The first cherry blossom trees were planted in Washington, DC. The trees were a gift from Japan. 1917 The Seattle Metropolitans, of the Pacific Coast League of Canada, defeated the Montreal Canadiens and became the first U.S. hockey team to win the Stanley Cup. 1931 Actor Charlie Chaplin received France's Legion of Honor decoration. 1933 About 55,000 Jews staged a protest against Hitler in New York City. 1941 Tokeo Yoshikawa arrived in Oahu, HI, and began spying for Japan on the U.S. Fleet at Pearl Harbor. 1942 The British raided the Nazi submarine base at St. Nazaire, France. 1946 Four-month long strikes at both General Electric and General Motors ended with a wage increase. 1952 The U.S. Eighth Army reached the 38th parallel in Korea, the original dividing line between the two Koreas. 1958 Nikita Khrushchev became the chairman of the Soviet Council of Ministers in addition to First Secretary of the Communist Party. 1958 The U.S. announced a plan to explore space near the moon. 1976 Washington, DC, opened its subway system. 1988 The U.S. Senate ratified the Intermediate-Range Nuclear Forces Treaty. 1989 The U.S. anti-missile satellite failed the first test in space. 1993 In China, Communist Party leader Jiang Zemin was appointed President. 1997 Russian workers, nearly 2 million, held a nationwide strike to protest unpaid wages. 1997 In Australia, Governor-General William Deane signed a bill to overturn a 1996 Northern Territory act to legalize assisted suicides. The 1996 act was the first in the world to permit assisted suicides. 1998 In the U.S., the FDA approved the prescription drug Viagra. It was the first pill for male impotence. 1998 Top civilian aircraft makers in France, Spain, Germany and Britain agreed to create single European aerospace and defense company. 2004 NASA successfully launched an unpiloted X-43A jet that hit Mach 7 (about 5,000 mph). 2007 NFL owners voted to make instant replay a permanent officiating tool. 2018 Do smiled. |
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