Good Morning, Do! Today is Thursday, January 17 Today's Bonehead Award:  Father charged with beating toddler, gluing mouth, eyes shut  ______________________________________________________ Today, January 17 in 2002 It was announced that Microsoft had signed a joint venture agreement to produce software with two partners in China. The two partners were Beijin Centergate Technologies (Holding) Co. and the Stone Group. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ 
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 After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, 'No hablo ingles.' --- Ronnie Shakes Live out of your imagination, not your history. --- Stephen Covey A hippy is a guy that looks like Tarzan, walks like Jane and smells like Cheetah. --- Ronald Reagan 1911-2004 ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  ______________________________________________________ Confusion is one woman plus one left turn; Excitement is two women plus one secret; Bedlam is three women plus one lunch check, Chaos is four women plus one bargain. _____________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Ginny for this story: My mother-in-law asked me, "If you hate me so much, why is my photograph on the mantle piece?" I told her, "To keep the kids away from the fire." ______________________________________________________   _____________________________________________________ 
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 ___________________________________________________   An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Johnnie Lee Carter, 29, Odessa, Texas  Father charged with beating toddler, gluing mouth, eyes shut  A father suspected of gluing shut the eyes and mouth of his 1- year-old daughter has been arrested in West Texas. El Paso County records show 29-year-old Johnnie Lee Carter is being held Wednesday on a charge of injury to a child causing serious bodily injury. On Sept. 16, Odessa police called to a domestic disturbance found the girl with facial injuries and her mouth and eyes glued. According to an affidavit, the toddler's mother told police that Carter choked and punched the girl then applied adhesive. A super glue stick was found nearby. Carter had fled. According to Dallas News, an arrest affidavit also showed that Carter had stuffed a 2-month-old infant underneath a pile of pillows and blankets. Carter was arrested Monday at a motel in El Paso by U.S. Marshals after being on the run for 10 days. He faces extradition to Odessa, some 270 miles away.  
 From: Janice Re: New Yahoo mail rigamarole  Dear DearWebby, In case anyone else runs into this problem with the "new improved" Yahoo. It took a while but I finally figured it out. I am definitely not a computer guru like you. I have been working with this "new and improved" Yahoo since the first of the year. The email that I enjoy had been going directly to "trash". I went in opened it and read it before I did anything as I hate to miss your information. That was unnecessary but I wanted to be sure. I found the "Spam" notation which I had not seen before. So I marked it "Spam". It went into the "Spam" folder. I went into the "Spam" folder found the "Not Spam" button and clicked it. It went into the "Inbox". I proceded normally after that. (Hopefully, it will continue going to the "Inbox".) I understand why Yahoo is such a mess, too many gurus working on it. It is a pain in the toucus to figure out, but it does keep the old brain cells active. Maybe that is why I like it. Keep up the good work educating. We need more good honest people helping. Thank goodness we have you. Sincerely, Janice  Dear Janice I tried Yahoo mail, once, briefly, in 1995, for about one day. Compared to Eudora, which I have been using since about 1992, Yahoo mail was simply not good enough. I do have a Yahoo account because some news groups require one to get access. However, that is the extent of my involvement with Yahoo, aside from cussing at it whenever they censor mail. As you probably know, I am one of the originators of Internet Postcards. At the hayday of postcards there were about half a million cards sent through our servers on an average day, and totally insane numbers on Valentines Day and Mothers Day. With Yahoo censoring cards because Valentines Day Cupids showed bare naked elbows, and because the cards overloaded Yahoo, I used to get horrific amounts of complaints from yahoos. They eased off a bit with the censoring when AliBaba bought Yahoo and then dumped it off on Verizon for about the same amount as what the Southern Wall will cost, but there is still way too much censoring going on. Every week a subscriber or two of the Humor letter complains that Yahoo or SBCglobal has stolen their subscription. You can see that I am most definitely not a fan of Yahoo. So I am just pasting your letter as is. Have FUN! DearWebby  
  Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. 
 Only in America do we have a general in charge of the post office, and a secretary in charge of defense. 
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 A soldier went up to the Company Cook and said, "If you put a lid on the pan there'll be less dust and dirt in the food". The cook, very annoyed, replied, "You mind your own business. Your duty is to defend the homeland!" "That's right," said the soldier. "But my duty is to defend it, not to eat it." ___________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Aphid Repellent Plants  You can help prevent aphid infestations on your vegetables by planting them with plants that repel aphids. Some examples are anise, chives, coriander, garlic, onions, petunias and radish. Another trick is lay some aluminum foil around the base of a plant, the reflection will help deter the aphids. Thriftyfun.com   ____________________________________________________   
The 2019 Harbin Ice and Snow Festival. 
 ___________________________________________________ The new librarian decided that, instead of checking out children's books by writing the names of borrowers on the book cards herself, she would have the youngsters sign their own names. She would then tell them that they were signing a "contract" for returning the books on time. Her first customer was a second grader, who looked surprised to see a new librarian. He brought four books to the desk and shoved them across to the librarian, giving her his name as he did so. The librarian pushed the books back and told him to sign them out. The boy laboriously printed his name on each book card and, with a look of utter disgust on his face, handed them to the librarian. Before the librarian could even start her speech, the boy said, disdainfully, "That other librarian we had could write." ___________________________________________________ Thanks to Irene for this story: Returning from a trip to visit my grandmother in Canada, I was stopped by a state trooper in New York for exceeding the speed limit. Grateful to have received a warning instead of a ticket, I gave him a small bag of my grandmother's delicious chocolate chip cookies and proceeded on my way. Later, I was stopped by another trooper. "What have I done?" I asked. "Nothing," the trooper said, smiling. "I heard you were passing out great chocolate chip cookies." ___________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 Ending his sermon, a preacher announced that he would preach on Noah and the Ark on the following Sunday, and gave the scriptural reference for the congregation to read ahead of time. A couple of boys noticed something interesting about the placement of the story in the Bible. They slipped into the church and glued two pages of the pulpit Bible together. The next Sunday, the preacher got up to read his text. "Noah took unto himself a wife," he began, "and she was" - he turned the page to continue - "three hundred cubits long, fifty wide and thirty high." He paused, scratched his head, turned the page back, read it silently, and turned the page again. Then he looked up at his congregation and said, "I've been reading this old Bible for near fifty years, but....this seems to require further study." ___________________________________________________  
 Today January 17 in 1377 The Papal See was transferred from Avignon in France back to Rome. 1562 French Protestants were recognized under the Edict of St. Germain. 1773 Captain Cook's Resolution became the first ship to cross the Antarctic Circle. 1852 The independence of the Transvaal Boers was recognized by Britain. 1871 Andrew S. Hallidie received a patent for a cable car system. Cable car systems had been around for thousands of years, but never patented. 1882 Thomas Edison's exhibit opened the Crystal Palace Exhibition in London. 1893 The Kingdom of Hawaii's monarchy was overthrown when a group of businessmen and sugar planters forced Queen Liliuokalani to abdicate. 1900 The U.S. took Wake Island where there was in important cable link between Hawaii and Manila. 1900 Yaqui Indians in Texas proclaimed their independence from Mexico. 1900 Mormon Brigham Roberts was denied a seat in the U.S. House of Representatives for his practicing of polygamy. 1905 Punchboards were patented by a manufacturing firm in Chicago, IL. 1912 English explorer Robert Falcon Scott reached the South Pole. Norwegian Roald Amundsen had beaten him there by one month. Scott and his party died during the return trip. 1913 All partner interests in 36 Golden Rule Stores were consolidated and incorporated in Utah into one company. The new corporation was the J.C. Penney Company. 1928 The fully automatic film-developing machine was patented by A.M. Josepho. 1934 Ferdinand Porsche submitted a design for a people's car, a "Volkswagen," to the new German Reich government. 1945 Soviet and Polish forces liberated Warsaw at the end of World War II. 1945 Swedish diplomat Raoul Wallenberg disappeared in Hungary while in Soviet custody. Wallenberg was credited with saving tens of thousands of Jews. 1946 The United Nations Security Council held its first meeting. 1959 Senegal and the French Sudan joined to form the Federal State of Mali. 1966 A B-52 carrying four H-bombs collided with a refuelling tanker. The bombs were released and eight crewmembers were killed. 1977 Double murderer Gary Gilmore became the first to be executed in the U.S. in a decade. The firing squad took place at Utah State Prison. 1991 Coalition airstrikes began against Iraq after negotiations failed to get Iraq to retreat from the country of Kuwait. 1992 An IRA bomb, placed next to a remote country road in County Tyrone, Northern Ireland, killed seven building workers and injured seven others. 1994 The Northridge earthquake rocked Los Angeles, CA, registering a 6.7 on the Richter Scale. At least 61 people were killed and about $20 billion in damage was caused. 1995 More than 6,000 people were killed when an earthquake with a magnitude of 7.2 devastated the city of Kobe, Japan. 1997 A court in Ireland granted the first divorce in the Roman Catholic country's history. 1997 Israel gave over 80% of Hebron to Palestinian rule, but held the remainder where several hundred Jewish settlers lived among 20,000 Palestinians. 1998 U.S. President Clinton gave his deposition in the Paula Jones sexual harassment lawsuit against him. He was the first U.S. President to testify as a defendant in a criminal or civil lawsuit. 2000 British pharmaceutical companies Glaxo Wellcome PLC and SmithKline Beecham PLC agreed to a merger that created the world's largest drugmaker. 2001 Congo's President Laurent Kabila was shot and killed during a coup attempt. Congolese officials temporarily placed Kabila's son in charge of the government. 2001 The director of Palestinian TV, Hisham Miki, was killed at a restaurant when three masked gunmen walked up to his table and shot him more than 10 times. 2002 It was announced that Microsoft had signed a joint venture agreement to produce software with two partners in China. The two partners were Beijin Centergate Technologies (Holding) Co. and the Stone Group. 2018 Do smiled. 
 

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