Good Morning, Do! Today is Tuesday, December 22 The weatherforecast predicted 50 cm snow. That is about 20 inches in the Brutish Imperial System. We got most of that, but it is still snowing. It looks pretty, but I sure am glad I am not commuting a long distance. ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ International Bonehead Award Man arrested on a cross-country trip with a twelve-year-old girl ___________________________________________________ Today, December 22 in 1895 German physicist Wilhelm Rntgen made the first X-ray, of his wife's hand. _____________________________________________________ The government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it. --- Ronald Reagan (1911 - 2004) _____________________________________________________ These are reported to be actual test answers from various schools in the Huntsville, Alabama metropolitan area: Q: Name the four seasons. A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar. Q: How is dew formed? A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire. Q: What is a planet? A: A body of earth surrounded by sky. Q: What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on? A: If you are buying a house, they will insist you are well endowed. Q; Name a major disease associated with cigarettes. A: Premature death. Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? A: Keep it in the cow. Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A, E, I, O, and U. Q: What is the fibula? A: A small lie. Q: What does "varicose" mean? A: Nearby. Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section." A: The caesarean section is the red light district in Rome. Q: What is a seizure? A: A Roman emperor. Q: What is a terminal illness? A: When you are sick at the airport. Q: Use the word "judicious" in a sentence to show you understand its meaning. A: Hands that judicious can be soft as your face. Q: What does the word "benign" mean? A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight. _____________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________ >From Suzie My brother-in-law was puzzled by the odd messages left on his answering machine. Day after day, friends and family would talk and then say, "Beep." He discovered the reason for the joke when he decided to listen to his greeting. "Hi," it said. "I'm not in right now, so please leave a beep after the message." ___________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Nathan Larson, 40, Catlett, Virginia, USA 
 Man arrested on a cross-country trip with a twelve-year-old girl 
 A self-proclaimed pedophilia advocate who once ran for political office in Virginia has been arrested by authorities who said they caught him flying across the country earlier this week with a 12- year-old girl he had persuaded to run away from her California home. Nathan Larson, 40, made the girl wear a long-haired wig to make her look older and told her to pretend to be mute during their travel, Fresno County Sheriff Margaret Mims announced on Saturday. The investigation began Monday morning when the girls family reported her missing from her bedroom in Fresno, California. Mims said detectives learned that Larson, a resident of Catlett, Virginia, met the girl previously through social media, flew to California and persuaded her to sneak out of her house around 2 a.m. Monday. They took a rideshare car to the Fresno Airport, where they board a plane bound for Washington, D.C., she added. Larson was taken into custody and the girl was rescued by a Denver police officer who stopped the pair during their layover in Colorado, Mims said. The girl was not injured and later was reunited with her family. Mims said that while the girl was not physically harmed detectives have evidence of inappropriate touching at the airport. She said the steps Larson had taken to groom the girl were of a sophisticated nature and asked anyone who may have had inappropriate contact with Larson to contact police. She also urged parents to always monitor their childrens internet activity and who they are communicating with online. Federal agents searched Larsons house and discovered that during the past two months since meeting her online in October, Larson persuaded the girl to send him pornographic images of herself, according to Mims. During the search, Larsons 69-year-old father, Arthur Larson, assaulted a federal agent and was arrested, she said. Charged with assault and battery, the father was later released from jail after posting bond. Mims said detectives also discovered the sons deeply disturbing background. He is a white supremacist and a well-known advocate for pedophilia, she said of the younger Larson. This is a man who runs a website, which encourages the raping of children and sharing of naked photos and video of children being raped. Nathan Larson ran and lost a 2017 campaign to become a member of the Virginia House of Delegates, representing the 31st House District encompassing Prince William and Fauquier counties in northern Virginia. He ran as an independent and his platform included advocating for fathers to be able to marry their daughters, legalizing child pornography and suppressing womens rights. In 2009, while living in Boulder, Colorado, he was sentenced to 16 months in prison after pleading guilty to sending an email to the Secret Service that he intended to kill the president in the near future. It is unclear whether Larson was referring to then- President George W. Bush or then-President-elect Barack Obama. He wound up serving 14 months. Larson was being held in the Denver County jail facing a misdemeanor charge of harboring a minor. However, Fresno County authorities will seek an extradition request to Fresno where he will face felony charges of kidnapping, child abduction, soliciting child pornography from a minor and meeting a child for the intention of sex.  
 DearWebby's Tech Support Pits  From: Silvia Re: Flash pictures are flat  Dear Webby, The flash pictures from my digital camera all turn out flat and boring. What's the trick to make them look more realistic? Silvia  Dear Silvia The trick is not to use the built in flash. If you absolutely have to use a flash, use a remote flash attached to the flash "shoe" on top of the camera, and hold the remote flash at the end of an outstretched arm. Have FUN! DearWebby 
 If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
 
 If you like my work,
 Please donate a dollar, 
 or two, if you can afford it!
 Please, help me stay online!
 
 _____________________________________________ 
 >From Bella We were on our way to the hospital where our 16-year-old daughter was scheduled to undergo a tonsillectomy. During the ride we talked about how the procedure would be per- formed. "Dad," our teenager asked, "how are they going to keep my mouth open during the surgery?" Without hesitation he quipped, "They're going to give you a phone." ____________________________________________ Actual replies to Welfare Inquiries: "I am glad to report that my husband who is missing is dead." "This is my eighth child. What are you going to do about it?" "I am very much annoyed to find out that you have branded my son illiterate. This is a dirty lie, as I was married a week before he was born!" "In accordance with your instructions, I have given birth to twins in the enclosed envelope." ____________________________________________ Myrna noticed her husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. She commented, "I don't think that's going to help." "Sure it will." he said. "It's the only way I can see the numbers." ____________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 ___________________________________________________  
 Today December 22 in 1775 A Continental naval fleet was organized in the rebellious American colonies under the command of Ezek Hopkins. 1807 The U.S. Congress passed the Embargo Act, designed to force peace between Britain and France by cutting off all trade with Europe. 1864 During the American Civil War, Union Gen. William T. Sherman sent a message to U.S. President Lincoln from Georgia. The message read, "I beg to present you as a Christmas gift the city of Savannah." 1894 French army officer Alfred Dreyfus was convicted of treason in a court-martial that triggered worldwide charges of anti- Semitism. Dreyfus was eventually vindicated. 1895 German physicist Wilhelm Rntgen made the first X-ray, of his wife's hand. 1939 Gloria Jacobs became the first girl to hold a world pistol record when she shot 299 out of a possible 300 points. She was 17 years old at the time. 1943 Sporting goods manufacturers received permission to use synthetic rubber for the core of baseballs. 1941 British Prime Minister Winston Churchill arrived in Washington for a wartime conference with U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt. 1956 Colo, the first gorilla to be born in captivity, was born at the Columbus, Ohio zoo. 1956 The last British and French forces evacuated Egypt. 1961 James Davis became the first U.S. soldier to die in Vietnam, while U.S. involvement was still limited to the provision of military advisers. 1984 New York City resident Bernhard Goetz shot four black youths on a Manhattan subway. Goetz claimed they were about to rob him. 1989 Romania's hard-line Communist ruler, Nicolae Ceausescu, was overthrown in a popular uprising. 1990 Lech Walesa was sworn in as Poland's first popularly elected president. 1991 The body of Lt. Col. William R. Higgins, an American hostage murdered by his captors, was found along a highway in Lebanon. 1996 A car bomb exploded in Belfast, injuring a known IRA supporter. Police suspected that Protestant loyalists were responsible for the attack. 1998 A unit of RJR Nabsico pled guilty to attempting to smuggle cigarettes into Canada. 2001 Thirty Afghans, including two women, were sworn in as part of the new interim government in Afghanistan. Hamid Karzai was the head of the post-Taliban government. 2020 Do smiled. 
 

Web Tools
handy program downloads

SPAM CONTROL made Easy!
Click here for a FREE
30 day trial
This is the Mail Washer that I use and have
used for over 10 years. I have tested many
others, but Mail Washer is still The Best
spam control

REVO UNinstaller

Crap Cleaner

Babelfish Translator

Converter

SmartFix The ONLY Registry Fixer, that I recommend!

All In One PX Fixer has all the necessary tools included: Fix System Errors, Improve Startup, Clean Registry, Defrag Disk, Optimize System Settings, Back-Up, etc. Currently Smart OC Fixer is 50% off regular price!

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Cumuli Ezine Finder:

Unique visitors since 1/1/11