Good Morning, Do! Today is Friday, November 11 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!  Thank you, Shelley 
 
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 ___________________________________________________ History: on this day, November 11, in 1966, The U.S. launched Gemini 12 from Cape Kennedy, FL. The craft circled the Earth 59 times before returning. ____________________________________________________  Bonehead Award goes to Madera man sentenced to 12 years in prison for fatally stabbing a man  _____________________________________________________ Q There is no such thing as an underestimate of average intelligence. --- Henry Adams (1838 - 1918) ____________________________________________________ >from Gina Esplanade - v., to attempt an explanation while drunk. Negligent - adj., describes a condition in which you absent- mindedly answer the door in your nightie. Bustard - n., a very rude bus driver FLORIDA: If you think we can't vote, wait 'till you see us drive. FLORIDA: Viagra voters do it again and again! Btw., I am from Florida, where you can get away with anything if you have blue hair. Gina ____________________________________________________ Here is an old favorite: One day, farmer Jones was in town picking up supplies for his farm. He stopped by the hardware store and picked up a bucket and an anvil, then stopped by the livestock dealer to buy a couple of chickens and a goose. Now he had a problem: how to carry all of his purchases home. The livestock dealer said, "Why don't you put the anvil in the bucket, carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?" "Hey, thanks!" the farmer said, and off he went. While walking he met a fair young lady. She told him she was lost, and asked, "Can you tell me how to get to 1515 Mockingbird Lane?" The farmer said, "Well, as a matter of fact, I'm going to visit my brother at 1616 Mockingbird Lane. Let's take a short cut and go down this alley. We'll save half the time to get there". The fair young lady said, "How do I know that when we get in to the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull down my skirt, and ravish me?" The farmer said, "I am carrying a bucket, an anvil, 2 chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?" The young lady said, "Easy silly! Set the goose down, put the bucket over the goose, put the anvil on top of the bucket, and I'll hold the chickens!" __________________________________________________ Reported by Rock: An International Bonehead Award has been earned by  Angel Martinez, 34, Madera, California, USA  Madera man sentenced to 12 years in prison for fatally stabbing man  Angel Martinez was sentenced to 12 years in state prison Wednesday for stabbing another man to death in Madera in May. Martinez, 34, killed Andres Espejo, 38, on Riverside Drive near Nebraska Drive. Madera Police arrested Martinez shortly after the stabbing. Authorities said two eye witnesses were able to identify him as the man who killed Espejo, and a tip led police to where Martinez was staying. Investigators did not initially release a motive for the homicide but said they didn't believe the incident was random. "We do know that the two knew each other and had prior conflicts," said Madera Police Department interim Lieutenant Mark Trukki. Espejo left behind two sisters and a brother as well as an 11-year-old daughter, Aundrea. ___________________________________________________   A melanistic fox, one of the rarest animals on the planet. Only unicorns and virgins are more rare ___________________________________________________ Tsineese Govelment sent whole Million boxes of Viagla to US Govelment in gestue of good will, because they he-ah that US Govelment has election plobrem! === Dudley Wong ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________   _________________________________________________ Reminds me of this one from Walter His neighbor was told by his doctor that he was impotent, so on the way home he bought a cadillac and a new hat. His wife asked why, and he replied: "The good doctah, nice chap, says I'm impohtent, an' since I'm goin t'be impohtent, so I rother be lookin propah an' impohtent." ____________________________________________________ Two guys were at a bar talking about how highly their wives thought of them.The first guy said, "My wife, she thinks so much of me that she won't let me do any work around the house. It's incredible." The second guy says, "That's nothing. My wife thinks I'm God." "She thinks you're God? What makes you say that?" "Quite obvious. Every night she places a burnt offering before me." ================================================= DearWebby's Tech Support Pits  From:Buzzy Re: Old Tech Support Issue >From the 123clickit.com Tech Support pits ====== CALLER: "I cannot log onto your Internet." BUZZY: "What error message are you getting?" CALLER: "I am not getting an error message. It just says 'Error, incorrect username or password'." BUZZY: "That IS an error message!" CALLER: "Then what does it mean?" BUZZY: "Can you read me that Error message again?" CALLER: "Incorrect user name or password." BUZZY: "Try using the password that your wife wrote on the mouse pad for you" CALLER: "Why didn't you tell me that right away instead of wasting all my time?" ===== Buzzy, From the Tech Support pits ======  Dear Do! Buzzy has died, but I will keep him alive a bit longer. Have FUN DearWebby _____________________________________________________ A customer sent an order to a distributor for a large amount of goods totaling a great deal of money. The distributor noticed that the previous bill hadn't been paid. The collections manager left a voice-mail for them saying, "We can't ship your new order until you pay for the last one." The next day the collections manager found a phone message: "Please cancel the order. We can't wait that long." _____________________________________________________ Ophelia Dingbatter's News no sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt- in confirmation request. ____________________________________________________ Today, November 11, in 1620, The Mayflower Compact was signed by the 41 men on the Mayflower when they landed in what is now Provincetown Harbor near Cape Cod. The compact called for "just and equal laws." 1831, Nat Turner, a slave and educated minister, was hanged in Jerusalem, VA, after inciting a violent slave uprising. 1851, The telescope was patented by Alvan Clark. 1868, The first indoor amateur track and field meet was held by the New York Athletic Club. 1880, Australian outlaw and bank robber Ned Kelly was hanged at the Melbourne jail at age 25. 1887, Labor Activists were hanged in Illinois after being convicted of being connected to a bombing that killed eight police officers. 1889, Washington became the 42nd state of the United States. 1918, World War I came to an end when the Allies and Germany signed an armistice. This day became recognized as Veteran's Day in the United States. 1918, Poland was reestablished shortly after the surrender of Germany. 1920, The body of an unknown British soldier was buried in Westminster Abbey. The service was recorded with the first electronic recording process developed by Lionel Guest and H.O. Merriman. 1921, The Tomb of the Unknowns was dedicated at Arlington Cemetery in Virginia by U.S. President Harding. 1938, Kate Smith first sang Irving Berlin's "God Bless America" on network radio. 1940, The Jeep made its debut. 1942, During World War II, Germany completed its occupation of France. 1952, The first video recorder was demonstrated by John Mullin and Wayne Johnson in Beverly Hills, CA. 1965, The government of Rhodesia declared its independence from Britain. The country later became known as Zimbabwe. 1965, Walt Disney announced a project in Florida. 1966, The U.S. launched Gemini 12 from Cape Kennedy, FL. The craft circled the Earth 59 times before returning. 1972, The U.S. Army turned over its base at Long Bihn to the South Vietnamese army. The event symbolized the end of direct involvement in the Vietnam War by the U.S. military. 1975, Civil war broke out when Angola gained independence from Portugal. 1981, Stuntman Dan Goodwin scaled the outside of the 100- story John Hancock Center in Chicago in about six hours. 1981, The U.S.S. Ohio was commissioned at the Electric Boat Division in Groton, CT. It was the first Trident class submarine. 1984, The Reverend Martin Luther King Sr. died in Atlanta at age 84. 1984, U.S. President Ronald Reagan accepted the Vietnam Veterans Memorial as a gift to the nation from the Vietnam Veterans Memorial Fund. 1984, Gary Coleman, at age 13, underwent his second kidney transplant in Los Angeles. He had his first transplant at age 5. 1986, Sperry Rand and Burroughs merged to form "Unisys," becoming the second largest computer company. 1987, Vincent Van Gogh's "Irises" was sold for a then record 53.9 million dollars in New York. 1988, Police in Sacramento, CA, found the first of seven bodies buried on the grounds of a boardinghouse. Dorothea Puente was later charged in the deaths of nine people, convicted of three murders and sentenced to life in prison. 1990, Stormie Jones, the world's first heart-liver transplant recipient, died at a Pittsburgh hospital at age 13. 1991, The U.S. stationed its first diplomat in Cambodia in 16 years to help the nation arrange democratic elections. 1992, Russian President Boris Yeltsin told U.S. senators in a letter that Americans had been held in prison camps after World War II. Some were "summarily executed," but others were still living in his country voluntarily. 1992, The Church of England voted to ordain women as priests. 1993, Walt Disney Co. announced plans to build a U.S. history theme park in a Virginia suburb of Washington. The plan was halted later due to local opposition. 1993, In Washington, DC, the Vietnam Women's Memorial was dedicated to honor the more than 11,000 women who had served in the Vietnam War. 1994, In Gaza, a suicide bomber detonated his explosives at an Israeli military checkpoint killing three soldiers. 1996, The Vietnam Veterans Memorial Fund unveiled "The Wall That Heals." The work was a half-scale replica of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial that would tour communities throughout the United States. 1997, The Eastman Kodak Company announced that they were laying off 10,000 employees. 1997, Roger Clemens (Toronto Blue Jays) became the third major league player to win the Cy Young Award four times. 1998, Jay Cochrane set a record for the longest blindfolded skywalk. He walked on a tightrope between the towers of the Flamingo Hilton in Las Vegas, NV. The towers are 600 feet apart. 1998, Israel's Cabinet ratified a land-for-peace agreement with the Palestinians. 2002, Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates pledged $100 million to fight AIDS in India. 2022 Do smiled. 

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