Good Morning, Do! Today is Tuesday, July 19, 2022 ___________________________________________________ History on this day, July 18, in 1799, The Rosetta Stone, a tablet with hieroglyphic translations into Greek, was found in Egypt. ____________________________________________________ Bonehead Award A father and son are facing murder charges for killing members of their own family in Fresno. __________________________________________________ You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time. --- Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865) Democracy is the name we give the people whenever we need them. --- Marquis de Flers Robert and Arman de Caillavet _________________________________________________ Ninety-year-old man: "Yes! After all these years, I've finally kicked the habit. I'm a free man. From now on, no more sex. I'm going to be celibate for the rest of my life!" Friend: "Wow! What happened? Are you concerned about your declining health?" Ninety-year-old: "No, I'm concerned about my declining wealth. That darn Viagra was so expensive, I couldn't afford cigarettes." __________________________________________________ >From Janice My face in the mirror Isn't wrinkled or drawn. My house isn't dirty, The cobwebs are gone. My garden looks lovely And so does my lawn. I think I might never Put my glasses back on. __________________________________________________ >Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Gerardo Zurita, 40 19-year-old Leobardo Zurita, Gerardo Zurita, 40, Fresno, Arizona, USA A father and son are facing murder charges for killing members of their own family in Fresno. After questioning Leobardo Zurita, detectives say that the 19-year-old is remorseful. Since they drove home to pick up the guns, it is not an accidental shooting, but first degree, making them eliible for keeping a herd of lawyers gainfully employed for a dozen years haggling about their death penallty. The incident happened on Friday at a home on E. Iowa Ave. in central Fresno, where officers received reports of gunfire. Family feud leads to 19-year-old killing his own sister, Fresno police say. After questioning Leobardo Zurita, detectives say that the 19-year-old is remorseful, and didn't intend to shoot his sister. A father and son are facing murder charges for killing a member of their own family and her boyfriend, Fresno police say. The incident happened on Friday at a home on E. Iowa Ave. in central Fresno, where officers received reports of gunfire. When they arrived, they found 21-year-old Stacy Zurita and 25-year-old Raul Jose Roberto Nunez with gunshot wounds. One was found on the sidewalk, the other was found in the middle of the street. The victims were rushed to the Community Regional Medical Center, where they died. Police say they quickly identified the people responsible for the killings to be 40-year-old Gerardo Zurita and his son, 19-year-old Leobardo Zurita. Stacy Zurita, one of the victims, was Leobardo's sister and Gerardo's daughter. Authorities say it all started when a fight broke out between the Zurita and Nunez families. Witnesses reported seeing a car leave the home on Iowa and return a short time later, with shots being fired from inside the car. "The video surveillance footage shows Leobardo Zurita, who had a long ponytail at the time, in the passenger side of the car of the vehicle, and at the time the shots were fired we can clearly see that Leobardo is the right front passenger," says Fresno Police Lt. Paul Cervantez. Police arrested Leobardo and Gerardo days later on Tuesday after the two were spotted in Fresno. Both men had altered their appearance in hopes of not being recognized, but you can't fool face recognition cameras! _____________________________________________________ I was inspecting communications facilities in Alaska. Since I had little experience flying in small planes, I was nervous when we approached a landing strip in a snow- covered area. The pilot descended to just a twenty feet, then gunned both engines, climbed, and circled back. While my heart pounded, the passenger beside me seemed calm. "I wonder why he didn't land," I said. "He was checking to see if the landing strip was plowed," the man said. As we made a second approach, I glanced out the window. "It looks plowed to me," I commented. "No," my seatmate said. "It hasn't been cleared for some time." "How can you tell?" "Because," the man informed me, as he jingled his key ring, "I'm the guy who drives the plow, but I spend half the winter in Hawaii." _____________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: JB RE: Memory chips Dear Webby Can I use camera memory chips for doing back-ups? JB Dear JB Yes, and no. Technically, it is very easy. Almost all photographers do it. In actuality, it may be a bad idea. Camera chips are small and tend to get misplaced. If youi can set up a system for safely storing the memory chips, then go for it. You can hold the little chips by the connector side and spray them with flat white paint. That makes them easier to spot, and you can write onto the flat white paint. "2022" Then, always put them into the zip-lock baggie that you got taped to the back of the monitor. Without a system like that, followed fanatically, don't bother doing back-ups. Have FUN! DearWebby ________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! If you like my work,Please donate a dollar, or two, if you can afford it!Please, help me stay online! _____________________________________________ A young man walked into the insurance office to purchase coverage for his new motorcycle. Only one question confused him. "Do you have a lien holder on the vehicle?" "I've got a kickstand," the prospect replied. "Is that the same thing?" ___________________________________________________ >From DS The story of the kid and the "bullboards" reminds me of the time when we were driving through L. A. and our six year old kid, who was just learning to read, saw some of those yellow triangular construction signs and said, "Hey Dad, watch out, it says 'CONFUSION AHEAD'!" __________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, please hit paypal with it! ____________________________________________________ Tanya Wierenga Wilson's Snipe, Red Deer, AB ___________________________________________________ >From Joe One of the side effects of Viagra is a headache. Every time I take a pill, or am about to, my wife gets a headache ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! If you like my work,Please donate a dollar, or two, if you can afford it! Please, help me stay online! _____________________________________________________ >From Georgina One of my husband's duties as a novice drill instructor at Fort Jackson, S.C., was to escort new recruits to the mess hall. After everyone had made it through the chow line, he sat them down and told them, "There are three rules in this mess hall: Shut up! Eat up! Get up!" Checking to see that he had everyone's attention, he asked, "What is the first rule?" Much to the amusement of the other instructors, 60 privates yelled in unison, "Shut up, Drill Sergeant!" _____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ Catching her in the act, I confronted our 3-year-old granddaughter, "Are you eating your little sister's grapes?" I demanded. "No," she innocently replied, "I'm helping her share." ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
| Today, July 19, in 1525, The Catholic princes of Germany formed the Dessau League to fight against the Reformation. 1553, Fifteen-year-old Lady Jane Grey was deposed as Queen of England after claiming the crown for nine days. Mary, the daughter of King Henry VIII, was proclaimed Queen. 1788, Prices plunged on the Paris stock market. 1799, The Rosetta Stone, a tablet with hieroglyphic translations into Greek, was found in Egypt. 1848, The Women's Rights Convention took place in Seneca Fall, NY. Bloomers were introduced at the convention. 1870, France declared war on Prussia. 1939, Dr. Roy P. Scholz became the first surgeon to use fiberglass sutures. 1942, German U-boats were withdrawn from positions off the U.S. Atlantic coast due to effective American anti- submarine countermeasures. 1943, During World War II, more than 150 B-17 and 112 B-24 bombers attacked Rome for the first time. 1946, Marilyn Monroe acted in her first screen test. 1971, In New York, the topping out ceremony for Two World Trade Center (South Tower) took place. The ceremony for One World Trade Center had taken place on December 23, 1970. 1974, The House Judiciary Committee recommended that U.S. President Richard Nixon should stand trial in the Senate for any of the five impeachment charges against him. 1975, The Apollo and Soyuz spacecrafts separated after being linked in orbit for two days. 1979, In Nicaragua, the dictatorship of the Somozas was overthrown by the Sandinista National Liberation Front (Frente Sandinista de Liberacin Nacional or FSLN). 1982, The U.S. Census Bureau reported that 14% of the population had an income below the official poverty level in 1981. 1985, George Bell won first place in a biggest feet contest with a shoe size of 28-1/2. Bell, at age 26, stood 7 feet 10 inches tall. 2022 Do! smiled. |
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