Good Morning, Do! Today is Tuesday, September 13  ___________________________________________________ History on this day, September 13, in 1935, Aviator Howard Hughes, Jr., of Houston, set a new airspeed record of 352 mph with his H-1 airplane (Winged Bullet). ____________________________________________________ International Bonehead Award  California man with extensive criminal history released early; Arrested on new murder charge  ____________________________________________________ The wisdom of the wise, and the experience of ages, may be preserved by quotation. --- Benjamin Disraeli (1804 - 1881) ___________________________________________________ To pass the time while our plane was being de-iced, the flight attendants played a trivia game with the passengers. They asked us to guess the total number of years the three of them had worked for the airlines. After an attendant collected our estimates, we heard the announcement: "The correct answer is 26 years. For the two people who came closest with 28 years, we have prizes. And for the passenger in seat 12F who guessed 85 years, would you please step off the plane once we are airborne?" ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! If you like my work,Please donate a dollar, or two, if you can afford it!Please, help me stay online! ___________________________________________________ Why is a joke like sex? Neither is any good if you don't get it. ____________________________________________________ >From Chuck Even though I was an engineering student at the University of Maryland, chemistry was a required course. The professor, on the first day of class, asked everyone to name the most outstanding contribution chemistry had made to society. When my turn came, I answered, "Blondes!" __________________________________________________  Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Byron Floyd, 58, San Bernardino, Californis, USA  California man with extensive criminal history released early; Arrested on new murder charge  Byron Floyd, 58, San Bernardino, Californis, USA A man with an extensive criminal history who was released early from prison has been arrested on a new murder charge. Byron Floyd, 58, was arrested on Monday in connection with the Sept. 1 shooting death of Fredrick Williams, 43, in San Bernardino. Officers found Floyd to be in possession of a loaded firearm. He was placed under arrest for weapons violations and was transported to the San Bernardino Police Department where he was interviewed by homicide detectives. Based on statements he provided to detectives, Floyd was placed under arrest for the murder of Williams and booked into a local jail facility. Williams was found suffering from a gunshot wound to the chest in the alley near the 1200 block of North Wall Avenue. He died at the hospital shortly thereafter. Police said that surveillance video showed the suspect clearly armed with a firearm in the area of the victim. That, coupled with additional information provided by witnesses, homicide detectives were able to find identifying facts that confirmed Floyd was the suspect. Detectives learned that Floyd had an extensive criminal history. This history included two arrests for murder, with a conviction of manslaughter and murder in both 1983 and 1993. Floyds 1993 conviction was a sentence of 23 years; however, he was released after serving approximately 50% of that time. He was later sent to prison in 2005 for drug charges. In 2017, he possessed PCP and cocaine for sales, a felon in possession of a firearm and gang enhancement where he was sentenced to serve 9 years. He was scheduled to be released in 2026 but was released early, according to the SBPD. The reasons for his early releases were not available. _____________________________________________________ One Sunday morning as the minister was preaching the children's sermon, he reached into his bag of props and pulled out an egg. He pointed at the object and asked the children, "What's in here?" "I know! I know!" a little boy exclaimed. "Pantyhose!" _____________________________________________________   Ibis scratching his butt _____________________________________________________ The aged patient doddered into the doctor's office with a serious complaint. "Doc, you've got to do something to lower my sex drive." "Come on now, Mr. Peters," the doctor said, "your sex drives all in your head." "That's what I mean, you've got to lower it a little." _____________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________ Two old women were sitting on a bench waiting for their bus. The buses were running late, and a lot of time passed. Finally, one woman turned to the other and said, "You know, I've been sitting here so long, my butt fell asleep!'. The other woman turned to her and said "I know! I heard it snoring!" _________________________________________________  DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Kendra Re: 3rd party workaround for W10 networking Dear Webby, I realize that Microsoft has destroeyed easy networking for W10. Has a 3rd party workaround been found for simple transferring of pictures? I have to occasionally transfer a picture to my other machine, which has a working printer. Kendra  Dear Kendra You probably have Facebook. Post the picture to a grandmother, who does not go onto Facebook. Then go check with your other machine, and copy the picture, then paste it into the graphics program, that you have on that machine. Then you can print it. It is not as slick and smooth as on W7, but it will work. Have FUN! DearWebby ___________________________________________________ 2 Very Depressed A guy walked into his friend's office, he found him sitting at his desk, looking very depressed. "Hey, what's up with you?" he asks. "Oh, its my wife," replied the man sadly. "She's hired a new secretary for me." "Well, nothing wrong in that. Is she blonde or brunette?" "Neither, her mother has silver hair." _____________________________________________________ Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, "Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?" "Outstanding," Fred replied. "They taught us all the latest psychological techniques: visualization, association, etc. It was great." "That's great! And what was the name of the clinic?" Fred went blank. He thought and thought, but couldn't remember. Then a smile broke across his face and he asked, "What do you call that flower with the long stem and thorns?" "You mean a rose?" "Yes, that's it!" Fred turned to his wife. "Rose, what was the name of that memory clinic?" _____________________________________________ Ophelia Dingbatter's News No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt- in confirmation request. ____________________________________________________  Today, September 13, in 1759, The French were defeated by the British on the Plains of Abraham in the final French and Indian War. 1788, The Constitutional Convention decided that the first federal election was to be held on Wednesday the following February. On that day George Washington was elected as the first president of the United States. In addition, New York City was named the temporary national capital. 1789, The United States Government took out its first loan. 1847, U.S. forces took the hill Chapultepec during the Mexican-American War. 1862, During the American Civil War General Lee's Order No. 191 was found by federal soldiers in Maryland. 1898, Hannibal Williston Goodwin patented celluloid photographic film, which is used to make movies. 1922, In El Azizia, Libya, the highest shade temperature was recorded at 136.4 degrees Fahrenheit, 58 Celsius. 1935, Aviator Howard Hughes, Jr., of Houston, set a new airspeed record of 352 mph with his H-1 airplane (Winged Bullet). 1943, Chiang Kai-shek became the president of China. 1959, The Soviet Union's Luna 2 became the first space probe to reach the moon. It was launched the day before. 1960, The U.S. Federal Communications Commission banned payola. 1970, The first New York City Marathon took place. Fireman Gary Muhrucke won the race. 1971, In New York, National Guardsmen stormed the Attica Correctional Facility and put an end to the four-day revolt. A total of 43 people were killed in the final assault. A committee was organized to investigate the riot on September 30, 1971. 1971, The World Hockey Association was formed. 1977, The first American diesel automobiles were introduced by General Motors. 1981, U.S. Secretary of State Alexander M. Haig said the U.S. had physical evidence that Russia and its allies used poisonous biological weapons in Laos, Cambodia and Afghanistan. 1988, Forecasters reported that Hurricane Gilbert's barometric pressure measured 26.13. It was the strongest hurricane ever recorded in the Western Hemisphere. 1993, Israel and Palestine signed their first major agreement. Palestine was granted limited self-government in the Gaza Strip and in Jericho. 1994, U.S. President Bill Clinton signed a $30 billion crime bill into law. 1998, The New York Times closed its Web site after hackers added offensive material. 2001, U.S. Secretary of State Colin Powell named Osama bin Laden as the prime suspect in the terror attacks on the United States on September 11, 2001. Limited commercial flights resumed in the U.S. for the first time in two days. 2022 Do! smiled.