Dear John,

A Dad recently shared with me that his daughter didn’t make the varsity volleyball team and she was really disappointed. She had made it her goal and practiced all summer, working out constantly, and attending multiple volleyball camps.

My initial response was - “She is just like Michael Jordan.”

He smiled, agreed, and asked how he could help her through it.

Here are the two things I told him.

First, focus on what you can control. You can control your attitude, how much your work out, your hustle, and your study of the sport. These things have nothing to do with your own natural talent or the ability of the other players. Praise and support her on the things she has control over.

Second, focus on growth - not results. I asked him if she had made great progress over the summer and he said she was much improved. That is a huge win and a lesson in life! We can always improve but rarely do we give ourselves credit when we do.

I asked if she still had the desire to make the team and he gave me a strong yes. Here is the simple plan I gave him to follow with her:

Find a volleyball coach who she would trust and respect to give her direction. Ask the coach to evaluate her game in 3 areas: Her mindset and attitude, her effort, and her skill. Then create a plan with the coach to improve each of the three areas with things she could control and are measurable - and then measure growth in each area a couple of times a month. Focus on the growth!

What is it you want to accomplish? Try out this approach in your own life and see what happens!

Choose To Win!

Tom