Hi John,

Have you ever felt that you couldn’t speak up or hold a boundary because doing so might lead to negative consequences? What did you do? What do you think of the approach outlined in today’s Q&A? Let us know.

And don’t miss our upcoming webinar on leadership with New York Times bestselling author Charles Duhigg.
I’m Sick and Tired of Making Decisions for My Senior Colleague
by Ryan Trimble

I work with a senior colleague who almost always seeks my approval on decisions that are his responsibility. I have advised and supported him a few times in the past, but now he seems to have become dependent on me to confirm or validate his actions. I get the sense that he doubts himself, worries that something might go wrong, and would like to direct the blame to me in case it did. I have my responsibilities, so I get annoyed that he depends on me to make his decisions for him. I’m also afraid that if I don’t respond to his requests, he’ll let his projects stagnate and then blame their failure on me. I feel he does not want to take ownership for his responsibilities, and it’s a nuisance. What can I do?

Signed,
Used and Abused

Allow me to begin by sharing my reading of your question.

At some point in the past you shared your perspective with your senior colleague to help him make a decision. Since then, he has continually returned for your input, but you have grown less inclined to share it. Now you suspect he depends on you because (1) he lacks the confidence to make decisions himself and (2) he would like to blame you should a project fail. You feel annoyed and would like this to stop, but you haven’t told him so.

Can you guess where this is going?
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