NOVEMBER 30, 2024

Dear reader,

Lately, if you’re a 20- or 30-something, run in relatively progressive social circles and are dating, chances are you can’t swipe, stumble or set eyes upon a potential partner without hearing the term “poly.” According to a recent study, roughly one in five Canadians has been in some kind of polyamorous relationship. And spending five minutes on most dating apps will convince you that monogamous people have become an endangered species.

Yet, no matter how our dating habits have evolved or how much our definition of relationships has changed, it seems that good old fashioned cheating is here to stay. The extramarital dating service Ashley Madison—the one with the not-so-subtle slogan “Life is short. Have an affair”—has shared its annual “cheat sheet.” The list reveals the Canadian cities with the most people per capita searching for a fling, and a slew of them are in southern Ontario (ahem: Barrie, London, Guelph).

This week, to acknowledge the many philanderers in our midst, we’re revisiting one anonymous Ashley Madison user’s tell-all from 2013: “My Cheating Heart.”

For more great long-reads from Toronto Life, subscribe to our print edition here.

—Madi Haslam, digital editor

I was bored with my husband, resented my kids and yearned to feel sexy again. I was ready to have an affair

BY ANONYMOUS | FEBRUARY 4, 2013

The writer and her husband had married in their early 20s, fresh out of university. They lived in the suburbs and had two children, ages 10 and 12. Their marriage was relatively healthy—they loved each other and still had sex. But, over the years, the frequency had decreased from three times a week to once a week, and it was routine and predictable. She couldn’t stand how much of her life was taken up by her kids’ soccer practices, hair appointments and parent-teacher interviews. So, one weekend when her family was away, she signed up for Ashley Madison. “I should have felt guilty embarking on this betrayal,” she wrote. “Instead, I felt turned on.”

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