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Hello,
Wow. Thank you to everyone who replied to last week’s newsletter. I read every single email and am so glad. I learned so much from so many of you, and I just feel… grateful.
Honored.
Amazed.
Privileged.
And that’s an interesting word, isn’t it: “privilege”?
I don’t know your experience with that word, but I have been taught to think of it as a dirty word, something to apologize for and feel guilty about. But privilege is simply “a special right, advantage, or immunity granted or available only to a particular person or group.”
As a white man, I am acquainted with the invisible advantages that have benefited me my entire life. I have also learned that there is nothing noble about feeling guilty for this. It doesn’t cost me anything to acknowledge my leg-ups in life, and doing so does not negate my hard work.
But with these advantages come great responsibility (I can’t not think of Spider-man when type that, btw).
The point of my privilege is to acknowledge it so I can use it. But I want to pivot a little into a mini-lesson I’m learning this week:
Influence is a privilege.
For those of us who have others listening to us—whether that be on social media, with friends, or even talking to family members—this is an advantage we have. People are listening to us, and those people aren’t listening to everyone.
There are individuals in the world who pay special attention to me. For the longest time, I took this for granted, downplayed it, even dismissed it.
Why? Because it felt… heavy.
What if I said the wrong thing?
What if I said nothing, and that was wrong?
What if I misled people or made them mad?
I just didn’t want to have to deal with all that.
Now, I understand that my influence is not something everyone has, and that gives me an advantage. And there is a certain necessary weight that comes with such responsibility. But it’s also an opportunity.
When I talk about influence, I’m not just talking about my work as a writer, speaker, and teacher. I’m also talking about my friends and family members, past colleagues and current associates, people from a variety of political, religious, and cultural backgrounds—all who trust me.
I want to take that seriously. I want to wield that influence well.
Over the past few months especially, I’ve learned that if you have something someone else doesn’t, you have an opportunity—call it a privilege, honor, or even blessing—to share it.
This is not a compulsion, not a rule, not a “should.” It’s an invitation.
If I have space to listen to someone, I can.
If I have money to give to someone who is need, I can.
If I have special knowledge to share, I can.
And as I’ve responded to this invitation, albeit imperfectly and with lots of mistakes, I’m learning quite a bit. Here are a few lessons that feel relevant right now:
If we have influence over other people, we have a responsibility to wield that influence well. When we choose to speak up on behalf of the oppressed, for example, it matters matters more than we often realize. When we use our voices to speak up and speak out, we should consider how we do this. When people listen to you, they also pay attention to how you say things. Healing happens when we talk about hard things. Some conversations, no matter how difficult, are worth having. And if we have the space to have them, we should. Because influence is a privilege.So, that’s what I’m learning.
I want to invite you to consider how you can use your influence this week for good. I don’t presume to know what that looks like, but I encourage you to consider it. And, of course, part of how I want to use my influence is to help other voices be heard.
We are having this conversation via email, which has always been one of the best places for me to connect with people.
Thank you for listening. Thank you for your trust. I don’t take it lightly.
Best,
Jeff
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