It's been a big month here at Strapz HQ. New staff have come on-board, we've made inroads into our waitlist, my faithful old Merc van was retired and a bran-spankin' new bike fell into my lap. Out of the blue, I got a call from a local KTM dealer offering me the first refusal on a KTM 890 Adventure R Rally that had suddenly become available through a bunch of odd and convoluted set of circumstances. This old fool had a moment of inspiration or madness and blurted out "Bugger it, let's do it!" Fate is tapping me on the shoulder, who am I to ignore it. Picked up on a Wednesday arvo it was run in (+50%) and ready for the first service by Sunday. Yer a long time dead! This is my first up-close and personal relationship with the pumpkin brand so I hope my glass slippers stay intact. A spin through Gippsland, through the Barry Way to a get-together at Dalgety for the weekend of the big rains, allowed plenty of time to explore the myriad of settings and bells and whistles on the jigger. That old saying 'Power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely, can be translated to suspension too I reckon. The Dakar spec bouncy bits on this thing will spoil me for life. Out of the box suspenders will have to be pretty bloody good to get near the WP kit on it. It's time to get to work and personalize it to my liking.
This week represents a great moment for sense, even if my decisions might be a bit dubious. You may not know it but there were plans afoot to build a re-gasification plant in the bay between Melbourne and Phillip Island, Westernport. Can you believe that AGL wanted to re-import our own Bass Straight gas from Singapore, shipping it into a world heritage area then feeding into a massive plant moored in the bay to turn it from liquid back into gas and spewing out thousands of litres of icy chlorinated water per day in the process? This isn't an excerpt from a satirical ABC political comedy but a real, hard-fought proposal. Victoria's Planning Minster knocked it on the head and bloody good on 'im. I like to think my submission that described the project as morally, ethically, politically and environmentally corrupt clinched it. Notably, it is only the second project that has been binned due to the findings of an Environmental Effect Statement in twenty years! Oh, and the view from my deck will be so much the better for it! I would have choked on my Pale Ale had it gone ahead.
The temptation to pull some sort of April Fools prank was nearly too much for me (I love a good wind up) but... I couldn't think of a Culturally, Equal Opportunity, sensitive, inoffensive, inclusive and clever angle. So... I gave up.
I fear that might be the way of the world until the pendulum swings back to the sensible middle and we get on with life. Me, I don't care what type of dickhead some people want to be. I won't discriminate! Equal opportunity for all Fk wits I say! Yes, there are lots of issues that need us to re-think, to modify our biases and prejudices. The struggle is for the sensible centre, with agendas and vested interests packed away or called out. I get that to effect change the pot needs to be stirred, people upset and challenged. I fear that the 24-hour news cycle, twatter, farcebook and the like have a lot to gain by keeping issues on the boil. Be kind, don't be a fk wit and consider how others feel about what is about to spill out of yer gob... Simple really. It's like riding, leave room for others, be courteous, avoid dumb shit that brings us as a group into disrepute and don't round people up, scaring the bejeezus out of 'em. As my old man used to say "Prior to engaging mouth (Clutch), engage brain".
This is the second sticker in a limited edition series. One of 250 of each scene, they depict the silhouette of iconic Aussie landmarks. Remember to ask for a sticker with each order. We'll be bungin' a prize to the person who names the whole series. A big thanks to Mrs Strapz for the cracking artwork too BTW.
Aussie Slang Spot
This month we should have a quick look at procreation, or the act thereof. Bumping Uglies Horizontal Folk Dancing Wielding the Pork Sword Goin' the Giggle Pullin' the Goofy Face Have a Naughty A Root Do a Bit of Flute Work
Both jacket and pants started out the same colour, gotta love red dust!
Product of the Month
It's hard to talk about the Held Carese jacket and Torno pants without sounding like a snake oil salesman or an evangelist. It's quite simply the best bit of riding kit I've ever looked like using! With hand-on-heart I can truthfully say I've ridden in it from -4 to 40 degrees and can make it work in any conditions. I've crash-tested it, washed it many times, ridden in biblical rain and lived it for many days at a time. It is unsurpassed. Why... it's smart, well designed and tailored. The essence is the Superman suit idea, the undies can be worn on the outside. The Gore-Tex liners are cut to work as an external shell, allowing the jacket to have 15 vents and the pants 10. I can ride all day in the rain and not have a wet, cold and heavy jacket. Ride in humid rain with the shell on the outside and still have the majority of vents open underneath. Held Oz keeps sending me gear to trial and they don't hold a candle to the Carese and Torno rig. It's not cheap but a whole suit costs ($1700) as much as some of the top brand's jackets alone. Despite a pretty good stock covering, my biggest problem at the moment is getting hold of some sizes and styles out of the Oz distributor via Germany. The best way to get into the gear is flick me an email and we can sneak up on sizes and colours. Naturally, our free return policy applies. Yes we do have ladies cut too! Here's a video, it maybe in German but the pictures are in English. https://youtu.be/BvLNCnrbhL0
Reg Grundies
Sorry ladies, this is secret men's business. I've been looking for cracking good undies to offer and it's turning out more complicated than I ever thought. It seems that most of the modern active outdoorsmen sit down to piss! Finding a fly in a pair of skiddy rags is the exception, not the rule. We all know that the urinal jig in motorcycle gear entails a set of actions even Olympic Morris Dancers would find challenging. Even with a fly in the Reggies, the final trickle is hard to control... You know what I mean. One goal is to find a fabric that allows us to get a few days out of them without building up a pong or causing rashes down there. You probably know by now I'm a dyed in the wool Merino fan but it doesn't work for undies, thermals yes, but Reg Grundies... Nah. The wool wears away from the underlying matrix and when Icebreaker brand jocks cost a left one it found me at another dead end.
However, don't despair, I might be onto something. I'm trialling Saxx undies, they boast a special 'Ballpark Pouch', a fly and trick fabric. First use they were encouraging but I need to see how they wear and last.
That's about all I got this month. Where are the Kato keys? ... Copyalater. Andy
