In signs that Christmas is throwing out the rulebook, red and gold baubles are on the decline. In their place? Picante cocktails, full English breakfasts, clamshells and even anatomical human hearts. Welcome to the era of the anti-trad bauble.

John Lewis, normally aleader of tradition, is selling everything from balloon dogs to sprinkle cakes and miniature dart boards. Sales of pickles and croissant decorations are up 12% week on week. At M&S, bestsellers include a teeny packet of Percy Pigs, a yoga mat and a silver suitcase. This year, the online homeware site Rockett St George has even added a pink glittery air fryer to its bauble roster, well and truly mirroring the times. Other highlights: a gold cowboy boot and a cheese dome featuring slabs of melting camembert and brie. A spokesperson describes them as “the antidote to bland”.

As to why this is happening this year, Julia Jeuvell, founder of London stationery shop Choosing Keeping, thinks that buying a box set of rounded baubles now feels “quite 90s”. Instead, customers are keen to curate their own collections by choosing ornaments that “resonate with their personality”. This year, Jeuvell has created a 72-page printed catalogue with her “anti-mass made” and hand-painted offerings. These include cutesy squirrels, tinned fish and evil carrots.

The trend spans all cohorts. Some are trend led – Etsy is selling Brat- emblazoned balls for £7.50, Flying Tiger has a £2 pink glass ornament that mimics a jade face roller, while Sass & Belle has a glittery beans on toast trinket (£10). Othersare more collectible – at Selfridges, baubles cost anything from £4 to £100 for a disco cowboy hat. And people are buying them; sales of baubles are up 14% year-on-year at its store on Oxford Street, central London.

Selfridges first launched its offering of more than 900 decorations in September. A Swiftie-emblazoned slogan bauble has remained top of the charts ever since, while a packet of “Porres expensive potato crisps” and “Chri Smas” wine bottle riff on the regularly memefied Torres truffle crisps and Chin Chin Vinho Verde are also trending.

Jeuvell’s main suppliers are based in Lauscha, “the birthplace of baubles”. The small town in central Germany is known for its glass-blowing workshops and in the 1930s produced 95% of Christmas ornaments for the US market. While today’s foodie and animal ornaments may seem modern, they are throwbacks to the bauble’s origins.

Jeuvell explains that the original bauble makers took inspiration from what was around them, riffing on floral and fauna. (During the first world war, zeppelin airships were a popular inspiration.) There was also a heavy American influence, with replicates of mini packets of mac and cheese that first appeared in US supermarkets in 1937. So, while radishes, oysters and figs might feel novel on social media, to 17th-century treescapers they were the norm. A plastic water bottle, a balding Prince William and a lime bike? Not so much.

With such a big selection available, most customers buy baubles that “reflect their style”, but Jeuvell admits that some are bought out of spite. During Brexit, she added an EU flag to her edit. “A lot of people bought it for their father-in-law,” she says. “Just to piss them off.”

What’s hot – and what’s most definitely not – this week

Going up

Wedgies | “Scrunch bum leggings” with deliberate ruching detail around the glutes are shooting up on the activewear charts. And to think VPL was once a crime.

Nipple heels | Coined by the fashion writer Liana Satenstein, this type of shoe features a tiny heel with a “slightly puckered trunk in which the centimeter-length tap made up the actual height. It reminded me of a pinched nipple.” Think we’ll stick to kitten heels.

IT skills | Kate Moss used a pdf to pitch her archive-inspired capsule collection to Zara. Next slide, please.

Going down

Dessert plates | From neat scoops of sorbet and stacks of meringues to mounds of whipped butter and individual heirloom tomatoes, silver coupe glasses are the latest tablescaping must-have.

Performative gratitude | Experts say anti-gratitude journalling can help acknowledge and address problems. Pass a pen and paper.

Sleep scores | Silly season is already playing havoc with our regular shut-eye schedule. Zzzz.

Melanie Wilkinson, styling editor, solves your wardrobe dilemmas

Q: I’m looking for a show-stopping dress for the party season, something really special and I love a bargain. My first party is next week, so I don’t have time to hang around waiting for the right piece to be available on Vinted or eBay. Any other places you would suggest? – Anoushka, Birmingham

A: Have you considered a shopping outlet? Bicester Village, in Oxfordshire, is just over an hour from you and you can often get 50% off brands (it’s not all high end, either – Reiss is just as popular as Gucci). Alternatively, you could rent? Prices differ between sites but you can definitely rent something festive for about £22 a day. Hurr and By Rotation have amazing designer party dresses that can be ordered for next-day delivery. I love this classic but fun style from LoveShackFancy, available on Hurr, or this sparkly Self-Portrait dress, available from By Rotation.

Got your own style question? Send it to fashionstatement@theguardian.com.