I have three young children. That means, among other things, that there’s always some kind of crisis in our home . There’s a fight, a fall, a big spill.
The other day was no exception. Among the many minor emergencies was this: my 9-year-old son took a rock to the head (thrown by his younger sister). After, I told him, “I’m proud of you. You took that like a man.”
“No I didn’t,” he said. “I cried.”
I told him, “It’s fine to cry. I said you took that like a man because you didn’t retaliate.”
Somehow in less than a decade on the planet, my son developed the belief that crying is antithetical to manhood. It’s not just 9-year-olds who hold that mistaken belief; full grown men do too. I appreciated this piece from theologian Richard Mouw in which he recounts the questionable messages he received as a child about men and emotions. Ultimately, he
realized that Jesus’ tears counter the narrative that “men don’t cry.”
Speaking of emotions, I recommend this resource on Developing an Emotionally Healthy Church. It’s designed to help you assess and address the spiritual health and maturity in yourself, your leaders, and your congregation.
