| Hi John! Last week I shared my deep dive into feminism and the critique of the patriarchy. Even though I think I am quite educated on the matter, I realized I wasn’t quite aware of how deep it goes. It didn’t fully dawn on me that “the very structure of society is founded on male privilege” — E. Renzetti. That everything, not just from the story of creation on, but from “God” on, is founded upon the patriarchy. Today, I’d love to share some inspiring quotes and books you’ve all been asking for and a whole lotta love. Cartoon: Sad but True 💔 Dad Joke: Sure Bro 👊 Quotes: Conversations About Equality 🗣️ Merch of The Week: Love Everyone 🫶 |
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| One of my saddest but truest cartoons. Some say I cause more division by pointing out the division. As if burying our heads in the sand makes the problem go away. It doesn't for those suffering! Right? Let's be bold! See the problem, acknowledge it, voice it, then fix it! Although sad, this cartoon touched so many of you this week. Thank you for all the love. Sad cartoon but SO MUCH LOVE! The love and support you and I have created on my page truly matters to me! We have created a safe space to come together and simply be. |
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| Bro, do you want this pamphlet? Yeah, Brochure! |
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| I’m going to give you a few quotes from a book I just read by Canadian journalist Elizabeth Renzetti, What She Said: Conversations About Equality. She writes about the many women journalists who are terrorized or even murdered just for doing their job. But they’re exposing the patriarchy and its abuses, and some men can’t handle it and persecute them. She interviewed Maria Ressa, a Canadian journalist focusing on climate, how she copes with it all and keeps going (which I am interested in because of all the abuse I receive online). |
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| 1. “The way I coped with (the abuse) was evidence, facts… I had the data. They are trying to tear you down, to stop you from doing your job.’ Once she realized that the attacks were specifically designed to keep her from investigating further, she was galvanized. She reported her way out of fear.” 2. “Complicity, silencing, and institutional ass-covering” were common in her investigations into work-place sexism, harassment, violence, and sexual assault of women in such organizations as police forces and the military. 3. “Women are being punished for their temerity in standing up to abuse.” 4. “If you have a uterus, someone else is always trying to control it.” 5.She quotes Susan Sontag: “The very structure of society is founded on male privilege.” 6. Leah Gazan, a politician in western Canada, said the Canadian parliament system is “a racist, misogynistic shithole... the eye of the colonial storm!” |
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In my previous email, I mentioned that I was reading relevant books on feminism and the critique of the patriarchy, and I got TONS of emails asking if I could share the books with you. So, I’ve compiled a short list of the books I’ve read recently or am reading now.
But before I share the list, I want to share a short story with you of how my journey into feminism began. It was when Lisa and I were just dating. I was 20. She was 18. A bit of context: I grew up in a totalitarian patriarchal home where my dad ruled with an iron fist and my mom chose to silently comply to keep the peace. Even though I was raised in a patriarchal home where there was shame, fear, and some violence, I grew up with a tender heart that hated all that. BUT… once, when Lisa and I were dating in Bible College, we were in her car. We were having some kind of an argument. I can’t remember anything about it. I remember that in a moment of frustration or something, I grabbed her arm. She exploded. Pulled her arm away. It happened so fast. I remember her exact words: “IF YOU EVER TOUCH ME LIKE THAT YOU WILL NEVER SEE ME AGAIN!” I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t believe I did that. I couldn’t believe her response. But I knew she meant it. I never ever touched her like that again. That began my journey deep into feminism, the power and pervasiveness of the patriarchy, as well as my self-awareness and the need for healing from patriarchal culture and the male privilege it provides. I knew I didn’t want to be like that, but for the most part, I wasn’t. What I didn’t know was that I had only breathed patriarchal air up to that point, and it was never pointed out or questioned. I had always seen my father grab mom and me and my siblings. It was normal for me and therefore normalized. It wasn’t until I met a feisty independent woman who taught me otherwise that I realized I had to be transformed, and fast. Here I am, forty-plus years later, still learning and trying to help others learn! |
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| 9 Books on My Coffee Table: |
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| 1. I mentioned Renzetti above with a link to her book What She Said. Great read. She’s funny, has a Canadian sense of humour, and loves colorful speech. Canadian based but universal principles apply. 2. Rebecca Solnit, Men Explain Things to Me. What began as a simple blog post blew up into an entire book. So insightful, honest, and necessary. So well written. I’m also reading her newer one, Recollections of My Nonexistence: A Memoir. 3. Elaine Pagels, Why Religion: A Personal Story. I was surprised that even though she is an American historian of religion, this book exposes her strength and therefore her unwillingness to put up with patriarchal bullshit. Very honest and liberating to read. 4. Judith Butler, Who’s Afraid of Gender?. I mentioned this book a few letters ago and provided a lengthy review of it in my online community, The Lasting Supper (please join HERE if you’re looking for community. It’s AWESOME!) Judith is queer and one of the leading philosophers in the world today who focuses a lot on transgender issues. I love Judith’s work, even though I often feel like I swim way over my head when I read her. 5. Cole Arthur Riley, This Here Flesh: Spirituality, Liberation, and the Stories That Make Us. My favourite genre to read is memoir, and this book has this feel to it. She talks a lot about being a woman and struggling with chronic illness while being black. It’s such a raw and honest book. 6. Bell Hooks, The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love. When I first read this book, I cried. Then I ordered more books by her, All About Love: New Visions and Feminist Theory: From Margin to Center. She died not too long ago, and I wish she were still alive teaching and writing. I think she came up with the concept of intersectionality. Her voice is so piercing, true, unafraid, and direct. Even though she tackles the patriarchy, as well as the chronic phallocentrism of men, she is somehow also compassionate about it. I love her. 7. Claire Dederer, Poser: My Life in Twenty-Three Yoga Poses. I first discovered Dederer when I read a New Yorker review of her book, Monsters: A Fan’s Dilemma. I ordered the book and gobbled it up, it is so good. She wrestles with the question, such as, “Can I love Roman Polanski’s films even though he was a monster?” Same with Woody Allen, Picasso, Hemingway, Miles Davis, Norman Mailer, etc). I fell so in love with her writing that I then ordered Love and Trouble: A Midlife Reckoning. All good. She’s a feminist, and her chosen writing genre is memoir, which I love. I just love her honesty, humour, and unapologetic style. 8. Rose Hackman, Emotional Labor: The Invisible Work Shaping Our Lives And How To Claim Our Power. Hackman claims and proves that women have been providing emotional labor for all of history. She ruthlessly exposes the work women must do to survive in our societies, right down to requiring or requesting that women “smile more”… so that men feel better..., not to mention all the hours of work done at home that isn’t valued or compensated. 9. Caroline Criado Perez, Invisible Women: Data Bias in a World Designed For Men. I mean, Perez just shows the data. One little detail sticks in my mind. Do you know office buildings are often just the right temperature for men, but they are often too cold for women? This is because the men who set the temperature are in suits while women are expected to wear revealing dresses or blouses showing some skin. Or shelves in the coffee or supply room that are just the right height for most men to reach but impossible for most women. She goes through all the data, and you can’t argue with it — just the facts. P.S. The links all go to the American Amazon, but you can go there then switch countries if you live elsewhere, like I do (Canada). Unless of course you want to choose a different bookseller. |
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| My Love Everyone print is perfect for this week, and as we prepare for the next one. It celebrates that love is greater than difference. No matter your age, race, gender identity, or class, you fit into this love heart. Every day is a new opportunity to love the people around you — and don't forget to love yourself as well! Whether you want a little reminder of love with a sticker, start your day with coffee in my Love Everyone mug or feel the love with my sweatshirt — there are so many ways to express your love! |
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| Well, that’s it for now. I feel like I’m forgetting some. If I have, you’ll hear from me. LOL. I love you all so much. Thanks for your support. It does mean a lot to know you’re actually reading my letters. Much love my friend, David P.S. If you have any ideas for a cartoon you’d like me to create personally, let me know! I would be honored to make your vision come to life! |
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