Self-awareness is one of the biggest enemies to creativity. | | | | Chris Makepeace and Adam Baldwin in MY BODYGUARD. 1980.
(20th Century Fox) | | | | |  | “Self-awareness is one of the biggest enemies to creativity.”
| - | Ted Dwane, Mumford & Sons |
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| | rantnrave:// Twenty years ago, two executives at MTV NETWORKS, PAUL GREENBERG and JUSTIN HERZ, visited me, unshaven in sweatpants, in my apartment on 96th Street in NYC. I had built a network of music sites and they were interested. In MARCH 2000, the parent company VIACOM acquired my company, MISCHIEF NEW MEDIA, and my adult career began. In fact, on my first day at work, current Viacom CEO BOB BAKISH brought me into his office to congratulate me and offer some advice: maybe lose the sweatpants. Paul G. and I went on to work together and remained friends. Yesterday, he published a guest column in THE HOLLYWOOD REPORTER about his long battle with depression. It's a very honest and brave account. My relationships in tech and media are extensive. And because I write about personal stuff here, some confide in me with their stories and hardships. There are so many people in our industries (or any really) and personal lives that deal with sadness and depression. People just like you and me. Men and women. Some even run companies, studios, TV networks, tech platforms, and venture firms. Daughters and sons. They act and sing. Some are stars. In government. Some are billionaires. You see them on TV. Read about their success. Moms and Dads. And on and on. Some are very in tune with their surroundings and very empathetic. Some of these traits are what make them successful and cause them to fall. And they suffer, many in silence. Because their professional reputation and persona tell a story of strength, success, and confidence. Like with social media, sometimes we only see the high points. They are not mutually exclusive. Depression, sadness, and anxiety are still stigmatized as signs of weakness. And yet the strength it takes to endure any of it, especially the charade, is exhausting. Only a strong person could get up every day and deal. Over the past 4 years, I've had some unfortunate life events. I lost my eyesight for a time. My mother died of cancer. I had a heart attack, surgery, and a terribly long aftermath due to complications from that surgery. And then my best friend died suddenly. It felt like surfing for the first time, being taken down by the undertow and unable to breathe. And when I reached the surface, another wave took me out. And again and again. That's in my rearview now. I don't suffer from clinical depression but occasionally battle sadness and anxiety. More succinctly, not knowing how to deal with sadness and life's hurdles. Let's just say that my upbringing didn't fill my toolbox. And worse, in today's environment, what's going on in the outside world can beat you down sometimes more than what's going on in your own head. All the things that happened to me are common. I am not unique and I'm not that tough. Or maybe I am? But when enough waves hit you, it's exhausting even for the toughest. Like those people I discussed above, I kept up the charade. You mask it with bravado. With humor. With success. With status. Kicking the can doesn't work for long. There's no shame in admitting you have issues and sadnesses. But I didn't. It's why I had to take 6 months off. And when people ask you how you are, some aren't prepared for you to answer honestly. And if you do, you fear they will run for the hills. It's happened to me. In fact, some of you right now may feel uncomfortable reading this. Some don't know how to react. When I asked a close friend why they hadn't called or visited. Their answer? "You were going through a dark period." Everyone does. I found great solace in writing about some of it here. Sometimes it was easier telling strangers than those closest to me. The emails of support I got were priceless. I sought help after my surgery as the physiological reaction to having your chest cracked open is deep melancholy. And for me, just talking about it was half the battle. It's out there then. Someone else knows. You trust them. And finally retiring some of that mental debt was a great weight off my shoulders. And now that Paul shared his story, I imagine he feels the same. He's done us a great service. I hope the stigma starts to melt away. I hope many share their stories and seek help if they need it. Ask your friends and professionals. And if you're a friend of someone who struggles. Be there for them. You can't cure them, but support and empathy from a friend go a long way. We need our friends most in the darkness. Thank you, Paul. It's a must-read... Now Watching on PBS AMERICAN MASTERS, Ted Williams: “The Greatest Hitter Who Ever Lived”. Sometimes the cover isn't the book... In any business, there's a sort of graduating class you come up with. Colleagues, partners, and competition. Some you knew before you got in, some you met there. And many become friends. You help each other. You give each other advice. You're happy when they do well. Some of them are in the news this week. JESSE ANGELO, Publisher and CEO of THE NEW YORK POST, announced the launch of their TV division. And JEFFREY HIRSCH, COO of STARZ discusses POWER, the ‘JOHN WICK Series, and international markets. NETFLIX's TED SARANDOS guests on THE SIMPSONS. Proud of all. It's not a race, but Ted wins this round... On a bad day, I get lazy and think personalization, algorithms and niche publications killed democracy... Happy Birthday to SHAUL NAKASH (who knows I'm right), HABIB KAIROUZ, MARSHALL HEYMAN, and ELANA NATHAN. | | | - Jason Hirschhorn, curator |
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 | Hollywood Reporter |
| Paul Greenberg, the leader of digital video firm Butter Works, reflects on his childhood demons and a solution after decades of ineffectual therapy: "Please don't give up." | | |
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 | GQ |
| What happened to U.S. college student Otto Warmbier--who was sent home brain-damaged from North Korea--is more shocking than anyone knew. | | |
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 | TechJuice |
| A high school in China has made a facial recognition technology system that scans the student’s behavior in the classroom. | | |
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 | Vox |
| A political theorist’s provocative idea for how to fix democracy. | | |
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 | The Drum |
| If you need to use targeted adtech to convince your wife to want sex, you are a wanker. In both senses of the word. | | |
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 | The New Yorker |
| The craze for the third-person shooter game has elements of Beatlemania, the opioid crisis, and eating Tide Pods. | | |
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 | The Database, a Nielsen Podcast |
| This episode of The Database explores the growing universe of streaming video and over-the-top content. We delve into the technologies consumers are using to tap into this content, the growth in the amount of content they’re consuming, as well as how these trends are shaping the overall video viewing landscape. | | |
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 | The Outline |
| Read the room, have a sense of humor, and if you’re standing on a human body, keep your balance. | | |
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 | The Wrap |
| Experts weigh in on zero-tolerance firings at Paramount, Disney and Netflix over offensive comments made by Amy Powell, James Gunn and Roseanne Barr. | | |
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 | Forbes |
| Bill Ruh is the CEO of GE Digital. He leads the significant digital transformation that has been afoot at the 126 year old industrial icon for multiple years. He notes that focus on "soft" factors such as culture and beginning the transformation as the company's own customer are essential. | | |
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| The New Yorker |
| Spyros Enotiades is an actor for hire who specializes in the role of cartel boss, middleman, or money manager in sting operations. | | |
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 | ScienceAlert |
| Scientists have found that people who constantly get bothered by grammatical errors online have "less agreeable" personalities than those who just let them slide. | | |
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 | Pitchfork |
| Raphaelle Standell-Preston, singer and guitarist in Braids, explains why she challenged TC Electronic and Steel Panther on their guitar effects preset “Pussy Melter.” | | |
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 | Medium |
| I didn't have a stammer when I started school. It was a small school in rural Ireland in the 1960s, and most teachers used corporal punishment. I remember the fear of being summoned to the teacher's desk if I misspelled something or solved a maths problem incorrectly. | | |
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 | The Daily Beast |
| 'Daily News' owners Tronc fired half the paper's staff Monday in a savage move that not only guts the newspaper, but also drastically diminishes the reporting of New York City. | | |
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 | The Huffington Post |
| He just took down director James Gunn. Now he's using a trollish rumor about a sex tape to go after journalists. | | |
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 | UPROXX |
| By focusing on the joy and strength of queer/trans characters instead of their pain and suffering, Ryan Murphy has done something different. | | |
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 | Media Matters |
| Study of 463 leading Facebook pages shows that partisan pages have roughly equal engagement, but right-wing pages drastically outnumber left-wing pages | | |
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 | Harvard Business Review |
| Consumers should have some idea how machines make decisions. | | |
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 | The New York Times |
| In an untold chapter of the AIDS epidemic, scores of unclaimed bodies were buried in a remote spot on Hart Island. How many exactly remains unclear. | | |
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 | YouTube |
| | | | Elvis Costello & The Attractions |
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