Human personality is a complex phenomenon. Each of us becomes who we are over many, many years. Like diamonds, we are formed by time and pressure. We are each shaped by our family of origin, our faith, our habits and our environment. Some parts of ourselves are “hard-wired” into our personality. For everyone, especially leaders, it is crucial to know who we are because who we are — perhaps more than what we know — will influence what we do in times of distress and conflict.
We all know some version of ourselves. But as Thomas Merton writes, it’s important to discern between the true self and the false self. This is about self-discovery and self-understanding. The true self is the self God created us to be in God. The false self represents the parts of us that are fearful, possessive and self-centered. Lent is the ideal time for self-examination.
As a leader, it is not enough for me to know how I respond in high-stress situations. I also need to know why I respond the way I do. What are the internal impulses that motivate me? Knowing who I am has implications beyond congregational leadership. Knowing ourselves affects everything from our parenting to our emotional well-being and our intimacy with God. Moreover, when we don’t know who we are apart from what we do — that is, when we cannot differentiate between our soul and our role — this keeps us from forming a healthy identity apart from our professional life.
Socrates is credited with saying “the unexamined life is not worth living.” Philosophers before and after him have echoed this sentiment. As we lead the people whom God has called us to serve, let’s remember to examine ourselves.
