Billy Corgan mentioned me.

I was eating a late lunch reading "Pollstar" and...

I always read while I eat. I know some who watch TV, I never understood that, if for no other reason than you have to take your eyes off the screen to look at your food, to take a bite. And, it was illegal to watch TV during family dinners growing up. And it was always family dinners, we all ate together, and everybody ate the same meal, and if you didn't like what was served, tough noogies. Yes, a few times during the Vietnam war my mother turned on the evening news, but usually she asked my father about his day and then we all had to recite what had happened in school and I can't tell you how many times it ended up in a fight, my father had a short temper, he'd reach over and smack you with little provocation, one time he accused me of scraping my teeth on the tines of my fork, which was true, but I didn't know that was a slap-worthy offense.

But sans a book I can't eat. Kinda like Groucho in "A Night at the Opera," I think... He gets locked in the bathroom and yells to let him out or throw him a magazine. Have the Marx Brothers been lost to the sands of time, looks like it.

And I was in the "Wall Street Journal" earlier in the week. I get up and review the news, could take ten minutes, could take half an hour, catching up with the present on my phone while I sit on the throne, and I saw a piece in the "Wall Street Journal" about Ticketmaster and Oasis and figuring this would be an interesting take, from an authority as opposed to a punter, I read it and continued to read it, this guy was right and I wanted to see if he continued to be right, and then all of a sudden he quotes me. And quotes me again.

And I'm not telling you to impress you, I'm telling you because NO ONE TOLD ME ABOUT IT!

Used to be in the old days, let's call them the pre-Spotify days, before the business got some relief, not only would I be in the news a certain amount, but I'd wake up to people telling me. If Howard mentioned me. Some publication. I'm on the west coast, three hours behind the times, and I'm not an early riser and...

The last time I was on Stern I found out myself. In a replay a couple of days later.

Now I'd read the three physical newspapers with my yogurt, and done my radio show, and I was reading this lengthy book by Claire Lombardo entitled "Same As It Ever Was" and it was nearing five and the funny thing is I rarely feel hungry, but intellectually I knew I had to eat.

So I went down to the mailbox, to see if anything had been delivered, and nothing had, so that left me with two magazines, "The Week" and "Pollstar." I'd coursed through the entire edition of "The Week," there were still some nuggets to extract, but I'd only looked at the photos and some of the grosses in "Pollstar" so I decided to start there.

There was an article about wrestling entitled "Rock & Rings," about the similarities to live music shows, and I perused it for an insight I didn't find and moved on. I grew up with wrestling, when it was localized, when you'd watch it on Channel 9 on Saturday night, with Haystacks Calhoun. And Bruno Sammartino. We knew it was fake, but nobody admitted it. I even went to what was then called an arena, which only held a few thousand people, to see it live, but I either moved on or outgrew it, I'll leave the choice to you.

But then came the WWF which turned into the WWE and I didn't get it. All cartoons. I've got nothing against it, I just can't get into it. But Bob Mould wrote for the WCW, and I knew Billy Corgan was involved...

Corgan was on the cover of "Pollstar." I couldn't exactly figure out why. And I'm not the biggest Pumpkins fan, but they were quite the rage back in the early nineties. There was a buzz, everybody on the inside was talking about them and then they were on MTV and they were the biggest band in the land for a while there.

And then Billy Corgan shaved his head. I guess I want to admit I'm bald. And broke up the band and had a zillion different concoctions, but now it's the Pumpkins again but without D'arcy and it's been that way for a few years and I know that Billy is smarter than the average bear, yet he can whine, but I figured I'd check in and see if he had anything to say.

The article started with wrestling, Billy's invested, so I skipped to the middle, which was about going on the road with Green Day, and Billy had a fix on the modern world, about streaming and sales and new material and it was a breath of fresh air after everybody who made it with him, was popular in the early nineties, has gone on record that Spotify is the devil and they lament the passage of the good old days.

Billy's articulate and insightful and I realize this and after a few questions, I decide to go back to the top, to catch the complete interview.

And I'm stunned that I'm even reading it. Because music interviews today are nitwits on parade. Thinly-veiled promotions. The new album is the best they've ever made and things are great and sure, they'll talk a bit about the person they're screwing. Used to be the interviews were intellectual. Then again, that's when the people making the music were intellectuals. They might not have had college degrees, but they could read and think.

In other words, there's more than grosses and streams. What does it all mean? And underneath it there's that pesky issue of creativity. How do you manage that.

So Billy knows he's never going to be the flavor of the month again, doesn't even want to, because that's pop and he's rock, and he's talking about seeing AC/DC and hanging with Bowie and the lessons he's learned and I turn the page and...

"There was a recent 'Lefsetz Letter' — not my favorite guy in the world but someone sent it to me — where he was talking about the new modality is pop stars selling perfume. They don't really need music anymore as long as they get their brand's support.
Well nobody's calling me up to sell any perfume. I'm here to sell music."

Billy Corgan is reading what I wrote?

I have no idea who is reading what I write.

Then again, Billy talks about Bowie escaping his image and just doing what he wanted to do, and how that worked after David flailed commercially in the late eighties and nineties.

Billy talks a lot about giving people what they want. How that's ultimately death, not only personally, but of your career. Sure, you have to play some hits, but you've got to do more than that.

Believe me, interact with the public and you know what works. And a business would keep giving the audience what it wants, but that's emotional death, and at some point people stop wanting that.

But it's so scary to march into the wilderness.

Billy is talking about the old music business being dead and...

If you read the trade press, anybody who works at a record label, you'd think it's 1965 or 1975 or even 1985. Same as it ever was, to quote David Byrne.

So what's a poor boy to do?

Certainly not play in a rock and roll band. There's no money in it. There's little money to begin with, and you've got to split what there is four, five or six ways...

And with modern technology you can make it yourself. And the audience may never go to a club.

So how are you supposed to start?

And if you have started, how are you supposed to continue?

It's not getting better, this is the new normal. Decentralization.

So on one hand you're not sure where you are in the firmament. I'm at home on a Saturday afternoon, completely disconnected, and voila!, I'm eating tuna fish and Billy Corgan is talking about me?

And I'm not a musician. And to be a successful musician you have to be good at relationships, networking. Sure, I know a ton of musicians, but I don't hang out much. I'm a writer, it's a different thing.

So am I left out?

But if I write something... Who knew I was reaching that guy at the "Wall Street Journal" and Billy Corgan.

And there are other times I read something or see something on TV and realize they've read what I wrote, because no one else ever talked about it or I did in a certain way and that's the way they're presenting it.

Let's be clear. This pays no dividends. And you feel good for maybe a minute, not much more. Winning a Grammy? If that floats your boat, you probably need it. But true creators are always mining the turf, looking for new stuff. And it's not so much that an award is meaningless, which it is, but who is doing the voting anyway? Almost everything great never gets awards.

So where does this leave you?

As for Billy taking a swing at me... I know why, he appeared at the Hollywood Bowl and I said something negative. Not horrible, but not positive. And if I do this, it's open season, wail on me all you want, I get it. But it's those I don't mention who try to eviscerate me that I don't understand.

So there's this connection to Billy, but I'm still isolated.

This is the world we're all living in. You're on your own, there's no context. And unlike in the pre-Spotify days, there's so much info that most goes unseen by most. Used to be if you were in the L.A. "Times" everybody saw it, now nobody I know gets it.

A couple of days later someone e-mailed me that they had seen me in the "Journal," cool, but if I thought that appearance was going to get me anywhere...

You have no idea what's going to get you anywhere. You've just got to put your nose to the grindstone and keep doing it. Which is tough for all, but certainly difficult for those financially challenged. You have to build it, no one else can do this for you. Sure, you'll get attention if you light yourself on fire, even Billy mentioned this, but you'll be forgotten just as soon.

There's no center.

Just a million points of light.

You'd better feel good about yourself, you'd better have a solid work ethic, because if you're depending on the penumbra, on mentions and appearances to make a big difference, to break you, you're dreaming. You just keep doing it and then one mention catches the eye of someone who reaches out and then...

Or maybe this never happens and you just grow your fanbase slowly.

I'm reading voraciously all day long.

But when people tell me about a commercial they've seen...you know the one...no I don't! I can't remember the last time I watched linear TV. Never!

So I know something, but not everything.

Same deal with everybody else.

And we all know different things.

Will people know you, respect you and continue to pay attention to you?

That's the challenge.

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