1. Model Says Trump ‘Shoved Tongue Down Her Throat’ in 1997

  ‘NO, PLEASE STOP’ 

President’s lawyers denied the new allegation, saying that the president never harassed, abused, or behaved improperly toward Amy Dorris.

2. Leaked Memo Reveals 17 Percent Jump in U.S. COVID Deaths

 WRONG DIRECTION 

It showed that 5,906 coronavirus-related deaths were recorded in the U.S. from Sept. 9-15.

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3. These Handbags Do It All, for the Women Who Do It All

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Versatile, durable, and elegant, Senreve’s luxury bags are a Hollywood favorite.

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4. Obama Memoir Will Be Released Right After November Election

 ‘PROUD OF THIS’ 

First volume will cover his first forays into politics, his presidential campaign in 2008, and climax with the death of Osama bin Laden.

5. ‘Tyranny:’ Seattle Mayor Rebukes Barr’s Threat to Charge Her

 ‘ABUSE OF POWER’ 

The attorney general reportedly asked prosecutors to explore whether they could bring criminal charges against Durkan over this summer’s protests.

6. This Customizable Pillow Will Change How You Sleep

 PILLOW FIGHT 

The Pluto Pillow is the key to never having a crappy pillow experience again.

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7. Navalny’s Team Says Novichok Found on Water Bottle at Hotel

 NEW TIMELINE 

It was previously believed that the Putin critic fell ill after drinking a poisoned cup of tea at a Siberian airport.

8. Feds Sought to Deploy ‘Heat Ray’ to Clear D.C. Protesters

 SUPERVILLAIN TACTICS 

The microwave weapon “provides a sensation of intense heat on the surface of the skin” and disperses crowds via an “overwhelming effect.”

9. Hurricane Sally Leaves One Dead in Alabama

 TRAGIC 

The hurricane battered the area with fierce winds and a dangerous storm surge that brought other dangers with it—including in one case a 12-foot alligator.

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10. Anti-Mask Idaho Pastor Is in ICU With COVID-19

 ‘HUMBLED’ 

Five church staffers are also sick, but face coverings are still not required at services.

11. Mizzou Prez Unblocks Students Who Exposed Weak COVID Rules

 ON SECOND THOUGHT 

Mun Choi decided to reinstate students on Twitter after they threatened to take legal action against him.

12. New Photos Depict Life on Jeffrey Epstein’s Private Island

 LAIR 

The photos show Epstein riding jet skis in the company of unidentified young women as well as his alleged accomplices.

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13. Another White House Staffer Tests Positive for COVID

 GROWING NUMBER 

The president confirmed the news after the White House press secretary refused to.

14. Jared Kushner: Trump ‘Ran Into the Challenge’ of Coronavirus

 HERD MENTALITY 

“Obviously President Trump didn’t run from it,” Kushner said of the pandemic.

15. Travis Scott Fined for McDonald’s Fan Meet-and-Greet

 SICKO MODE 

Stores are reportedly already running out of ingredients for the rapper’s eponymous $6 meal.

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