Recently, a client said to me…
“Craig, due to some events in the business, I’m feeling more cynical and negative than normal.”
My response and “Damaging Admission”:
I am naturally this way (negative, cynical, skeptical, etc.)
I can understand how you are feeling, and more important, I know how this can affect your business, relationships, mindset, etc.
It’s important for you to share these feelings with your partner.
Possibly even with your top team members at work.
Sharing your feelings releases the burden.
It takes the weight off your shoulders.
It’s one of the first steps to turning the “mental ship around”.
This “Turnaround Cycle” goes like this.
Step #1 – Be aware of how you are feeling
Step #2 – Express this awareness to people in your life who are impacted by your feelings
This form of healthy vulnerability is a form of healthy compassion.
Your awareness + Their awareness = Circumventing future crises
Now that they are aware, they will be better able to interpret your actions…
For example, your cynicism might come through in your facial expressions.
If people around you didn’t know you were feeling “down” due to other events…
They might think they had done something wrong to cause you to be angry at them.
Now they start making up stories in their heads…
And everything goes off the rails.
They get anxious, and it can affect other relationships.
Crisis begets crisis.
Everyone hurts.
But if you share your feelings early, including why you are feeling this way, then you circumvent these downstream “doom loops”.
Healthy vulnerability circumvents a more negative situation.
*NOTE: There is an art and science to vulnerability…
Too much info to the wrong person, or even to the right person in the wrong situation, can lead to less favorable outcomes.
Seek to share your feelings in a neutral environment, with the right person, and in the right frame of “Asking for help”.
If someone is under a lot of stress, don't pile your worries on top of them.
But being aware and sharing with the right person takes a burden off your back.
You’re no longer suffering in silence…
Which is dangerous, short-term and long-term.
Step #3 – Turn awareness of adversity into advantage for everyone
When you share your concerns with other good people…
They help you find solutions that can also benefit them and others.
Step #4 – Move from Emotional to Rational
From feelings to facts.
What is the truth?
List out the facts… (*I built this list for my coaching client… you can use these as an example to build your own list of facts)
The truth is that:
- You are a good businessman
- You have the skills, resources, experiences, & network to help other entrepreneurs
- Your ability to help is NOT confined to your current niche market
- You are just as capable of helping an accountant, lawyer, real estate agent, or financial advisor as you are a spa owner (in fact, probably more capable as those pro’s know LESS about sales and marketing)
- You have a good network that can help spread the word about you
- You could focus ONLY on clients in your local market and exceed your current income if expanded outside of your current niche… you wouldn’t have to get on planes to do seminars, you could fill a ton of seminars at your office or nearby your home and get people to come to you… meaning you could make more money with less travel. This is a fact.
- You could charge more money to certain industries… 3X to 5X what you charge your current niche.
I could go on.
These are all facts.
The facts are there to show you the incredible opportunities that exist.
I’m not saying these facts make anything “easy”… but these facts share simple truths.
You must still make hard decisions around these simple facts.
Step #5 – Focus on Process Goals and Quick Wins
- Plan and prepare to crush the week.
- You have a strong set of sales calls this week.
- Make positive steps, achieve wins, gain momentum, and motivation.
Look at every experience as a win or lesson. No losses.
Even if a client doesn’t close, you learn something.
Step #6 – Re-evaluate your emotions…
Get awareness around where you are …
And share again, along with what you’ve learned and why you’re feeling this way.
********
When you go through this 6-step cycle…
You will learn a LOT about yourself and your triggers.
You see how letting the right people know the right information at the right time prevents future problems.
Compassion is key to avoid downstream doom loops, ruined days, and damaged relationships
Bottom line:
- Be aware
- Express awareness
- Allow others to help you
- Take action
- Reassess
- Repeat
Never lose sight of the facts…
And never lose faith in yourself!
Hope this helped.
Success Loves Speed,
Craig
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