For my American friends, Thanksgiving is typically a time to look back...
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November 23, 2016

 
"He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has." – Epictetus
 
 

Need a Boost? Try a Little Gratitude

 

By Ryan Murdock

For my American friends, Thanksgiving is typically a time to look back at the past, and to reflect on all those things we’re grateful for in our lives. Sure, it can be fun to indulge in a little nostalgia. But that gratitude is also tremendously important to your success.

Pausing to think about everything that you’re grateful for brings your life back into perspective. Those small annoyances don’t seem so important anymore. You feel energized. More alive. More positive about yourself and the world around you.

Gratitude also makes you more resilient in the face of setbacks.

Tell me, what’s more productive? Getting mad at your staff for making a mistake that just cost you a pile of money and a customer? Or taking a deep breath and feeling thankful for the fact that those very same employees also make it possible for you to avoid the tasks you hate and focus on the stuff you’re great at?

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The second choice will melt your anger like a ten-penny candle. And it’ll get you back to focusing on action rather than self-indulgent lamentation.

Gratitude just makes sense.

So how do you do it? How do you actually go about identifying all those areas to be thankful for in your life?

I like to use this great little exercise. I found it many years ago in a rather hokey self-help book. Now that’s not normally my kind of reading at all. But the exercise made me sit up straight, fold down the page and come back later on to make a few notes.

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Here’s how the gratitude exercise goes…

Grab a piece of paper, and write these words across the top: “I’m thankful for…” And then divide your page into 3 columns.

Label the first column “Things.” Take a few minutes to write down all the material things you’re glad you have. For example, I’m thankful for my espresso machine. For my collection of books. For having a reliable computer and a nice big Apple monitor. You get the idea.

In the second column, labeled “People,” list all the people in your life, past or present, who you appreciate. I’m thankful for my wife, who has supported my dreams and goals for the past 15 years. I’m thankful for my old hometown friends, who have been as close as family since our high school days and beyond. I’m thankful for having a great partner in my online business, and an amazing team of dedicated employees. And the list goes on.

Finally, label your third column “Other,” and list anything that doesn’t fit into the other two.

Most people find this last category confusing at first. But I thought it was the easiest one of all.

I’m thankful for my freedom. For having the ability to exercise. For good health. I’m tremendously thankful for my love of reading, because it’s opened so many doors. I’m grateful that I had an opportunity to experience life on a small Mediterranean island, in a 400-year-old stone palazzo. I’m thankful for music that inspires my writing. And I’m incredibly grateful that I have the ability to travel and experience so many exciting new things, and then to share those things with my readers.

I’m also grateful that my book Vagabond Dreams is published, because the experience I wrote about was so meaningful, and I know it has the power to transform lives.

You get the idea.

It’s a really great exercise because it reminds you of just how much you have to be grateful for. It also opened my eyes to how much I complain in the day to day — when most of us really have so little to complain about.

Sure, I tend to focus on what’s not perfect in my life. I’m driven, so I’m always tweaking things, trying to improve the road ahead rather than just sitting and looking at my past small accomplishments. But still…

Taking a few moments to remind yourself of just how many great things you have in your life changes the way you feel about everything. It brightens up your day. It gives you more energy. You walk taller, and you learn to let those small annoyances slide.

No matter how bad things are, you’ll always find something to be thankful for. And I can say this even about my most frustrating poverty years, when I felt so trapped and when I thought I’d never be able to live my dreams. Looking back at those times, I’m thankful I had access to an excellent public library. And that I had music to inspire my writing.

I encourage you to find a piece of paper and a pencil and give this little exercise a try today.

It doesn’t matter if you live in the United States and you’re celebrating the Thanksgiving holiday surrounded by family and friends, or if you’re an expat Canadian like me who’s just going along for the ride.

It’s worth a few minutes of your time. I promise.

(Editor's note: This is an excerpt of an article previously published on EarlyToRise.com.)
 

About the Author: Ryan Murdock is the author of Personal Freedom: A Guide to Creating the Life of Your Dreams. When not helping people find their own brand of personal freedom, Ryan travels the world as an Editor-at-Large for Outpost Magazine. He is also author of the travel book, Vagabond Dreams: Road Wisom from Central America.

 
 
   
 
 

HEALTHY

 

Your Fear of Death Does Terrible Things

 

By Neil Strauss

 

Fear of death and insignificance make people hateful. One of my favorite theories in social science is terror management theory. It is predicated on the idea that as adult human beings, we have a desire to live, yet we know that — at a time and by a cause unknown to us — we are going to die.

So to manage this existential anxiety, we embrace a cultural worldview that provides us with order, meaning, importance, and, ultimately, self-esteem. The effectiveness of this strategy depends on the agreement of others who share our beliefs (see group polarity). And when those beliefs are threatened, we will go to great lengths to preserve and defend them (see: everything from trolling to terrorism.)

As a result, when people are reminded of their mortality, they can become more prejudiced, more aggressive toward people with different worldviews, and believe that there is a greater social consensus for their beliefs than there actually is. In addition, political beliefs shift to support militaristic policies, charismatic nationalists, and increased domestic surveillance.

Now here’s what’s interesting: I spoke with Tom Pyszczynski, one of the people who developed terror management theory. And he told me:

“Fear made people very defensive of their beliefs and values, and suspicious of people who were different. But if reminded of their culture’s value of a sense of shared humanity and that we are all in this together, it reversed the effect so that fear actually increased support for peace-making.”

In short, compassion beats anxiety.

Read more.

 

 
 
 

WEALTHY

 

Avoid These 6 Common Mistakes When Saving for Retirement

 

From Early to Rise

 

Starting to save for retirement can be tricky. Here are some of the most common retirement mistakes people make and how they can be avoided:

1) Not Getting Specific Advice. Some retirement guidelines say you should bank six times your annual salary by age 60, while others say you need 80 percent of your current annual salary for every year of retirement. No matter how good the rule of thumb is, it remains a generic piece of advice. When it comes to retirement, generic is bad. If you’re saving for retirement, you need to get specific information from a financial planner who knows your situation intimately. Anything else is leaving your future up to chance.

2) Paying High Fees. Many people fail to check what fee they’re paying for their investments. While a fee of two percent may seem small, it can cost you hundreds of thousands of dollars, compared to a fee of .5 percent. A good rule of thumb is to pay one percent or less in fees. Otherwise you’re just throwing money away. Firms are required to list their fees clearly, so it’s simple to find and compare.

3) Not Planning for Taxes. It’s easy to look at your nest egg and assume you have enough money to live on. But many soon-to-be retirees forget that they may owe taxes on their withdrawals from traditional 401ks and IRAs. An accountant or financial planner can help you plan for those taxes while possibly offering ways to decrease your tax liability.

Learn three more common mistakes here.

 

 
 
 

WISE

 

The Power of Introspection

 

By Craig Ballantyne

 

Introspection is defined as the examination or observation of one’s own mental and emotional processes.

Simply put, introspection is the ability to see yourself objectively — to know when you are wrong, and to realize you need to change if you want to be right.

I’ve put together an Introspection Checklist. As we go through it, rank yourself on a scale of 1 to 10. One means you are struggling in this area and 10 means you’re strong.

1. Stress – Are you stressed out? That would leave you close to a one. Or are you chilled out? That would get you close to a 10.

2. Health – How are you feeling? How are your health habits?

3. Nutrition – Are you eating the right foods? How is your digestive health?

4. Sleep – Are you getting 8 hours a night? Or at least 7? Are you tired all the time? Is it hard to fall asleep or stay asleep at night?

5. Energy Levels – Are you fatigued or fresh? Can you keep up with the demands in your life and from your family? Do you rely on too much caffeine?

Get the rest of the checklist here.

 

 
 
 
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