Hi John, Have you ever felt like no one really “gets you”?
I know I have.
Today’s letter is about that challenge, and about finding connection & community as you redefine your identity and deconstruct your beleifs.
Cartoon: You Are Welcome 🙏🏻
Dad Joke: Everything I Lost 😭
Quote: Belonging 🫂
Letter: “No One Gets Me!” 🤷♂️
Invitation: The Lasting Supper 🍛 |
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| This cartoon shows a woman walking away from her church and long time community after being warned that she’ll be all alone. But then she is welcomed with open arms by a new kind of community, The Lasting Supper, where she’ll experience more honesty, empathy, and freedom to explore her beliefs without fear, judgement or shame. |
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| I lost my faith, lost my church, and lost my community… But hey, I also lost my guilt and shame! |
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| "True belonging doesn’t require you to change who you are; it requires you to be who you are." - Brené Brown |
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After deconstructing your beliefs or leaving the church have you ever found yourself avoiding certain grocery stores… or ducking behind a display at the local coffee shop… because you saw someone from your old church life?
If you live in a small enough community it’s likely that you’ll sometimes run into people from your former life of being a “church-going faithful believer.”
And that can be awkward!
I remember this happening to me many times, and people's responses fell under one of these categories:
One was pity. They thought I was lost, confused, and going to burn in the fires of Hell for eternity.
Two was fear. They thought I was dangerous and that they shouldn’t associate with me.
Three was genuine confusion, and they wondered “Why would he leave a privileged spiritual life and such a great church? What’s wrong with him? Did he have a mental breakdown?” Or, worse–“Did Satan get him?”
Finally, some people reacted with genuine curiosity and care. But this was super rare for me. It might’ve happened only once or twice.
In all of those encounters, one of my deepest thoughts was, “No one gets me!”
I had thought that before, but after deconstruction I really started to believe it.
I remember feeling so isolated and alone, and I felt like no one truly understood me or what I was going through.
Perhaps you’ve felt the same way on your journey?
Yes, I made the decision to go down this path. Yes, I chose to leave the ministry and the church. And yes, I chose to walk away from that community. But I had to do it. Even though it cost me community, friendships, and support.
It was time for the next evolution of my spiritual journey, and time to find a new community.
If you’re in that place right now—feeling lonely, misunderstood, or like your spiritual life is unraveling—I want you to know something:
Even though you might feel like it, you’re not alone.
Deconstruction can often feel like an endless free fall, leaving you feeling lonely, disoriented, and like you’ve lost who you really are… all while navigating the confusion and emotional turmoil that usually accompanies that journey… but it is possible to find your grounding again, build community, and feel comfortable in who you really are.
This is one of the things I love so much about The Lasting Supper– it’s a safe place for people who are deconstructing their faith to rebuild their identity, connect with a community, and find their path to spiritual freedom and independence.
It’s a space where you don’t have to explain or defend yourself and you can ask the tough questions without fear of judgment or rejection.
I’ve been running “TLS” since 2012 and the doors are open right now if you’d like to join us.
Inside, you’ll find new friends who understand what you’re going through and you’ll get access to weekly resources to support you through all the ups and downs of deconstruction.
I’ve built TLS to be the safe, non-judgmental community and support I wish I had had when I started this journey, and you can join right now, risk-free, until tomorrow at midnight.
So if you’re ready to pull up a chair and join us at a table where you can truly belong, we would love to have you.
Click here to join us |
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If you’ve read my last couple emails you know that the doors to join me inside TLS are closing tomorrow and this will be your last chance to jump in until sometime later this year.
TLS is my private online community for people going through deconstruction and wanting to find their path to spiritual freedom and independence. It’s full of valuable resources for making your way through the 5 stages of deconstruction, including written posts & PDFs, training videos on hot topics, relevant book reviews and recommendations, and a monthly Q&A call/hangout with me and other members, in addition to the private members forum for daily interaction and connection with others who understand what you’re going through. We’re a diverse group of people from church-going believers to atheists and everything in between and we support each other with compassion, acceptance and understanding. This is one of the things I love so much about the TLS community. |
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So if you’re having a hard time working through your shifting beliefs, or you just want a loving and supportive community, then I invite you to join us inside TLS. You don’t have to go through deconstruction alone. My community and I are here to support you and we’d love for you to pull up a chair and join us at the table! Plus, I’ve made it risk-free for you to join, you can cancel anytime, and I’ve got some extra bonuses for you. So… what do you say? Why don’t you pull up a chair and see if TLS is for you?
Join us here |
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| Original Art: "I Will Miss You Always" |
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I lost a brother in 2016. Then I lost my mom in 2023. There are some who believe that when a red cardinal shows up, it's one of your deceased loved ones dropping by to say hi and let you know they're okay.
Not necessarily believing in that kind of thing, I must say that I am seeing more red cardinals since my loved ones passed. And, oddly and unusually, they hang around for a long time.
This happened recently where this red cardinal landed in a tree like this outside our front window and stayed there for a good hour.
Whatever it means, I nevertheless found it comforting, and when I look out my window it makes me feel more grounded, and, strangely, more seen and loved.
Yes… we can even find community in nature… and with birds! |
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| What I want to leave you with today is a simple reminder: you are deeply worthy of love, connection, and support. No matter what your life looks like right now, please know that you are important, you are worthy, and you are loved. My hope for you is that you find your people, discover where you truly belong, and live a life that’s authentic to who you are. And if that journey leads you to us inside The Lasting Supper, we’d be so honored to welcome you to the table. Much love, my friend, David |
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NakedPastor Gondola Point Road Quispamsis, NB E2E 1H6 |
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