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• We can actually watch the Best Picture nominees.

• My favorites from Sundance.

• Madonna once again being ridiculous.

• Sheryl Lee Ralph!

• Parker Posey!

You Should Be Watching Tár

The truth is that part of me never wanted to watch Tár.

First of all, it is two hours and 37 minutes long. Gross. My strictest religious belief is that no film ever needs to be over two hours.

It also became so hyped up, which can be the worst thing to happen to a film. Everyone I know who had seen it had raved about it, specifically about Cate Blanchett’s towering performance as Lydia Tár, an imperious composer-conductor whose career is upended following a personal scandal that explodes in the media. Have you ever seen a movie after everyone you know and trust has ecstatically fawned over how good it is? You end up hating it, because it could never live up to the mythical bar that your friends at brunch had set for it. 

Then there were the Tár memes. It became a running joke on social media to talk about Lydia Tár as if she were a real person, shaming people who didn’t give “her” the due respect. In the greatest piece of service journalism for my very specific population (pop culture enthusiasts who were holding out on seeing Tár), The Cut published a piece titled, “No, Lydia Tár Is Not Real.” Somehow, not having seen the film made these memes even funnier. 

Alas, I have no backbone nor courage of my convictions. I did see Tár, the rare film that, in spite of its dangerous hype, actually is that brilliant. Wow. Blanchett? Friends, that is a performance. Did two hours and 37 minutes pass by? I wasn’t sure, because I had floated to a new ecclesiastical state of being while processing such brilliance. My only Oscars hottake is that, yes, Blanchett is obviously the Best Actress of the year and deserves to win, but she has two Oscars already and, based on her speeches this awards season, even she seems to want Michelle Yeoh to win instead—so let’s respect that!

In any case, the glorious news this week is that now you, too, can watch Tár, and from the comfort of your own home. In what I think is the savviest awards strategy this year—this is Hollywood; we must cynically assume everything is strategy—Tár will be available for streaming starting Friday, Jan. 27 on Peacock. I know it’s not usually an impulse to, after a long work week, think, “You know what I could really use to unwind right now? A two-and-a-half hour movie that raises provocative questions about cancel culture and gender roles.” You might scoff at that, until you have beheld the brilliance of one Lydia Tár.

If one were to point to a singular trend across the 95 years of the Academy Awards, it would be, “OK, but has anyone even seen these movies?” Especially in my lifetime (I am a spritely 23 years old), there’s been a refrain of frustration over the organization’s penchant for rewarding smaller movies that most people not only haven’t watched, but, because of how and where they are released, aren’t even able to watch. 

One should put Tár in that category. You would be confused if, like me, your social media timeline is filled with entertainment writers and critics (known insufferably as “Film Twitter”) constantly discussing the film. But, despite their incessant tweets about it, it appears that no one has seen Tár. It has made just $7 million at the box office. The only Best Picture nominees to perform worse are Women Talking, which was a surprise inclusion in the list of 10, and All Quiet on the Western Front, a film which we all together learned apparently exists on Tuesday morning. 

It’s actually an interesting awards season, in regards to what people have and haven’t watched in the Best Picture race. The major headline after the nominations was that this was a history-making year, in that the Best Picture nominees have collectively grossed more than any other year’s list at the box office. And it’s not even on the back of one major blockbuster. Avatar: The Way of Water, Top Gun: Maverick, Elvis, and Everything Everywhere All at Once all performed spectacularly—a rare celebration of populist movies at the Oscars. Or is it?

The list is more bifurcated than usual, in terms of commercial success. It’s The Banshees of Inisherinthat made the most money once you leave out those top 4 cash cows and it only grossed $29 million. Steven Spielberg’s The Fabelmans only made $21 million. That’s a little alarming for a Spielberg movie; even Triangle of Sadness, from lesser-known director  Ruben Östlund, did better, eking out $22 million globally. The box office grosses of Tár, Women Talking, and All Quiet on the Western Front combined don’t even amount to that.

So I ran a little experiment. Say you actually cared enough to watch all the Best Picture nominees this year—could you? I’m going to just assume you’ve already seen the four big money-makers. (Though I don’t actually know a single person in my life who has seen Avatar: The Way of Water, the fact that it has made $2 billion forces me to believe that many people have.) But is it possible to see the rest?

Tár is now streaming on Peacock, which is great news for the gay community fans of Real Housewives, as you can now follow the most recent episode of The Real Housewives of Miami with a viewing of Tár and really soak in a night of film and television excellence. The Banhsees of Inisherin—which is my pick for best movie of the year (apologies to Lydia Tár)—is on HBO Max, and you’d be a fool not to watch it immediately. It’s so good. 

Both The Fabelmans and Triangle of Sadness are available to rent through platforms like Apple TV and Amazon. I can personally confirm that Triangle of Sadness is available on Delta in-flight TVs, and it’s the perfect length for a connecting itinerary from NYC to Detroit. (The White Women of Hollywood have also infiltrated Delta; To Leslie is available in the New Releases section too.) And All Quiet on the Western Front is on Netflix. 

But Women Talking is still only playing in theaters. Offensive! It is 2023; why are we still silencing women? 

While there is always room for complaining, this year’s Oscar nominees aren’t that bad, which is high praise for the Academy. Not only is it (mostly) possible to see the nominated films, it’s actually worth doing so. Watch them all, if for no other reason than so I don’t receive a blank stare back when I start talking about the Oscars at a cocktail party. Happy viewing!

Best of Park City

For the first time since 2020, the Sundance Film Festival happened in person. I was there! I’m still incredibly cold!

It’s always fun to try guessing what movies and performances will be talked about outside of the festival. It’s clearly a fruitful launching ground; CODA premiered there, set a record for the biggest sale ever in 2021, and then went on to win Best Picture at the Oscars. (Other future Best Picture nominees that premiered at Sundance include Promising Young Woman, The Father, Minari, Judas and the Black Messiah, Call Me By Your Name, and Get Out.)

So here’s my report on “movies you are going to care about now that Sundance is over.” (I’m very tired.)

My God, did I love Passages, Ira Sachs’ movie about a queer love triangle, featuring an electrifying performance from Franz Rogowski and a couple of sex scenes that I may never stop thinking about (in private). Less explicitly horny but just as much “this is a movie that Kevin would obviously love” was Nicole Holofcener’s You Hurt My Feelings, which stars Julia Louis-Dreyfus in a perfectly Julia Louis-Dreyfus performance, but for which we should all be also talking about how good Michaela Watkins is playing her sister.

Anne Hathaway, who, let’s be honest, never misses, gives another spectacular performance in Eileen, a movie that’s going to have a lot of people talking when it hits theaters. Equally buzzy is Jonathan Majors’ performance in Magazine Dreams, a movie for which he transformed his entire body to be believable as an aspiring bodybuilder, and then transformed emotionally to make me cry a lot. Gael García Bernal is also going to get a lot of attention for playing a flamboyant lucha libre wrestler who trailblazer a path for gay men in that field in Cassandro.

Movies like Fair Play, Past Lives, and Shortcomings have potential to be Sundance-to-real-life hits. But one of the things I like most about the festival is discovering small, peculiar films that might not get attention were they not playing at a major festival like this. This year, that’s Fremont, a black-and-white character study about an Afghan immigrant working in a fortune-cookie factory, who struggles with her desire to want to be happy and fall in love. Lead actress Anaita Wali Zada is incredible. 

So, keep an eye and an ear out for these movies over the next year. And send me hot chocolate. I haven’t defrosted yet.

Material-less Girl

I can’t get over that Madonna got the most in-demand and talented actresses in Hollywood to participate in a grueling boot camp, so that she could see which of them could possibly play her in a biopic, and then, after casting Julia Garner from Ozark to much fanfare decided, “Nah.” 

It was reported this week that Madonna is scrapping plans to direct the movie of her own life story, in favor of going on a concert tour. The casting for this movie was the entertainment news story for the weeks that it was going on. A Who’s Who of hot young Hollywood was learning choreo from Vogue and perfecting an unplaceable accent that would morph into several different accents over the years. And now, it was all for naught.

With all due respect to both Madonna and Julia Garner, there’s no denying that it feels like the latter dodged a bullet here.

The Rise of Sheryl Lee Ralph Continues

The devil works hard, but the programming director trying to convince me to care about and actually watch the Super Bowl works harder.

It’s Parker Posey’s Time

I’ve never supported a fan campaign more than this one. (Also, some of you didn’t watch Parker Posey monologuing very seriously about analingus in The Staircase, and it shows.)

• Poker Face: Natasha Lyonne doing Columbo. An unexpected delight! (Now on Peacock)

• Infinity Pool: This is bonkers and wild in every way those words mean. (Now in theaters)

• Wolf Pack: Someone save Sarah Michelle Gellar from this nonsense. (Now on Paramount+)

• You People: Eddie Murphy’s next star vehicle should be better than this. (Now on Netflix)

• Maybe I Do: It pains me to not recommend a Diane Keaton rom-com, but alas, here we are. (Now in theaters)

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