1.  NYC Schools to Shut Again, Cuomo Explodes at Reporters

 A MESS 

NYC Mayor Bill de Blasio said that, since the city reached the 3 percent positive test threshold, public schools will close on Thursday.

2.  Trump Requests WI Recount—for Largest, Bluest Counties Only

  DON’T COUNT ON IT 

Any recount is extremely unlikely to overturn Biden’s margin of victory in the state, which is currently just over 20,000 votes.

3.  It’s Time to Change (Up) Your Sheets

 AD BY BOLL & BRANCH 

The bestselling Signature Hemmed Sheet Set from Boll & Branch will help you wake up on the right side of the bed.

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4.  Official Stalling on Transition Sign-Off Is ‘Afraid’: CNN

 MURPHY’S FLAW 

Emily Murphy’s refusal to sign off on the election results has prevented Joe Biden from officially starting his presidential transition.

5.  GA Sec. of State Refused Demands to Endorse Trump: Report

 ‘CLEAR RETALIATION’ 

“We’ll see how helpful you are in November,” the senior adviser told Brad Raffensperger after his repeated refusals to endorse the president.

6.  Our Favorite Brooklinen Sheets Are on Sale for Black Friday

 BLACK FRIDAY 2020 

These sheets are like fine wine - they just get better with time.

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7.  WI Guv Declares State of Emergency, Extends Mask Mandate

 ONLY GETTING WORSE 

Wisconsin has hit a new record for positive COVID-19 cases reported in a single day, with 7,989 new infections and 52 deaths.

8.  Vatican to Probe How Pope’s Insta Account ‘Liked’ Risqué Pic

 THOU SHALT NOT THIRST 

Pope Francis’ Instagram account liked a photo of Brazilian model Natalia Garibotto wearing a raunchy schoolgirl outfit.

9.  Mulvaney Pans Rudy’s Lawsuit: ‘This Is Not a TV Program’

 ‘CONCERNED’ 

The former White House chief of staff, who called Giuliani’s Pennsylvania lawsuit “the most important” in history, doesn’t think America’s Mayor can get it done.

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10.  Pfizer Says New Results Show Vaccine Is 95% Effective

 DARE TO HOPE 

Last week, the drug maker made the groundbreaking announcement that it had created a vaccine that was 90 percent effective.

11.  Judge Grants Barr’s Wish to Drop Case for Ex-Mexican General

  ‘A BIRD IN HAND’ 

Salvador Cienfuegos Zepeda, who served as Mexico’s defense secretary from 2012 to 2018, faced charges of conspiracy and money laundering before the DOJ dropped them.

12.  Ex-Hong Kong Lawmakers Arrested for Stinky Protests

 HOLD YOUR NOSE 

In June, two lawmakers rushed to the front of the city legislature and splashed a smelly liquid around the room.

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13.  Weinstein Has Fever in Jail, Staff Won’t Say if It’s COVID

 HIGH-RISK 

The convicted sex offender’s publicist has confirmed he’s sick, but refused to say whether or not he tested positive for COVID-19.

14.  Boeing’s 737 MAX Will Fly Again After 20-Month Grounding

 ANY VOLUNTEERS? 

The 737 MAX crashes in Indonesia and Ethiopia killed a total of 346 people within five months between 2018 and 2019.

15.  Task Force Warns Pence: 2,000 Deaths a Day by Christmas

 GHOST OF CHRISTMAS FUTURE 

The doctors also reportedly recommended that bars shut their doors and restaurants stop offering indoor services.

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