Dear Webby's Humor Letter
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 Good Morning, Do! Today is Friday, March 15 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!  Re PIE DAY yesterday: 3 14, officially pi day, but jokingly called PIE day in hopes, somebody will donate a slice of pie. Well, neither of the people, who know how to bake a pie, did. Michael in Hawaii told me that WiFi attenuates with the SQUARE of the distance, not the cube, like I had erroneously stated. Sorry about that! ______________________________________________________ Today, March 15 in 1960 The first underwater park was established as Key Largo Coral Reef Preserve. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ 
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Today's Bonehead Aw3ard: Man who used fridge to try and smuggle 10 Vietnamese nationals into UK is jailed ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Politics is not the art of the possible. It consists in choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable. --- John Kenneth Galbraith (1908 - 2006) Ideas are a dime a dozen. People who implement them are priceless. --- Mary Kay Ash _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ The only survivor of a shipwreck was washed up on a small, uninhabited island. He prayed feverishly for God to rescue him, and every day he scanned the horizon for help, but none seemed forthcoming. Exhausted, he eventually managed to build a little hut out of driftwood to protect him from the elements, and to store his few possessions. But then one day, after scavenging for food, he arrived home to find his little hut in flames, the smoke rolling up to the sky. The worst had happened; everything was lost. He was stunned with grief and anger. "God, how could you do this to me!" he cried. Early the next day, however, he was awakened by the sound of a ship that was approaching the island. It had come to rescue him. "How did you know I was here?" asked the weary man of his rescuers. "We saw your smoke signal," they replied. ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Ciprian Scorteanu, 45, In Jail now in England Man who used fridge to try and smuggle 10 Vietnamese nationals into UK is jailed A Romanian man has been jailed after trying to smuggle 10 Vietnamese nationals, including eight children, into the UK in an adapted fridge in his lorry. Ciprian Scorteanu had his heavy goods vehicle stopped by Border Force Officers at the Port of Hull on October 27, 2018. The 45-year-old was questioned by officers who, after becoming unsatisfied with his responses, decided to impound his trailer for 48 hours so that they could search its cargo of used tyres. Scorteanu was allowed to leave the port in the trailer's tractor unit and return two days later on October 29. However, just hours after letting him go, officers made an alarming discovery after noticing steam coming from the roof of the trailer's refrigeration unit. The faade of the unit was removed and inside, officers found 10 people, including eight children, hiding inside a specially adapted fridge. Mark Robinson, Humberside assistant director for Border Force said: 'This was a deliberate attempt to bypass the UK's border controls. 'The trailer had been adapted for the sole purpose of smuggling.' He said that without the expertise of his officers, the Vietnamese nationals could have been 'trapped in the confined conditions for 48 hours', with the risks to their welfare 'obvious'. He added: 'Border Force officers are on the frontline keeping our borders safe and secure. We will continue to work with law enforcement colleagues to ensure that people smugglers and traffickers, who often put the lives of others at risk through their actions, face the consequences of their crimes.' After finding the Vietnamese nationals, police were alerted and Scorteanu was arrested the same day in Lincolnshire. The investigation was passed to Immigration Enforcement Criminal and Financial Investigation (CFI) officers and Scorteanu was charged with assisting unlawful immigration into the UK. It is believed the 10 Vietnamese nationals were trapped in the fridge for 36 hours from when Scorteanu started his journey in Germany. They had no food and were only given water to drink. Katie Brown, from CFI, said: 'Scorteanu's callous disregard for their safety is frightening.' The Vietnamese men found in the fridge were refused entry to the UK and removed to Rotterdam in The Netherlands. The eight children were taken into the care of social services. Scorteanu, who did not have a fixed UK address, was jailed for four years and six months at Hull Crown Court on March 7 having admitted the offence at an earlier hearing.
From: Donnie Re: OpenOffice compatibility Dear DearWebby I suggested Open Office to a friend's son who is a college student on a snug budget. His on-line assignments require WORD. Will Word open an Open Office document? I tried a sample document on my computer, but was not successful. Is there any trick that will work easily? Thanks once again for all of your help. Donnie Dear Donnie Yes, I realize that some colleges accept bribes from Microsoft dealers for insisting that only Microsoft products be allowed. Word can't open Open Office documents, it is way too primitive for that. However, Open Office can save documents as Word Documents. Open office is OPEN. It works on UNIX, Linux, Windows and Mac, and it can save documents and spreadsheets in just about any format. That's why it is called OPEN, and why the business world is switching to it. Kids limited to WORD will soon have a hard time competing with those who are comfortable with OPEN. The more progressive colleges have already realized that and switched to OPEN Office. Just tell him to save the documents in Word format, so that the backward teacher can read it. Word does work just fine on WORD documents, it is just a bit limited outside that narrow alley. Have Fun! DearWebby
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Had a friend whose Grandpa lived with 'em... He was always going on about the good old days, and the lower cost of living, in particular... "When I was a boy, my momma could send me to the store, and I'd get a ham, a quart of milk, 6 oranges, 2 loaves o' bread, and a comic book... all fo' a quarter!! You can't DO that no mo'... ...them daing video cameras is ever'where ya look......"
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Mark was only 5 feet, 8 inches tall when he left for college in the fall. He worked through the Christmas holidays and didn't return home again until the February break. When he got off the plane, I was stunned at how much taller he looked. Measuring him at home, I discovered he now stood at 5 feet, 11 inches. My son was as surprised as I. "Couldn't you tell by your clothes that you'd grown?" I asked him. "Since I've been doing my own laundry," he replied, "I just figured everything had shrunk." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Swimming Pool Covers Evaporating water requires tremendous amounts of energy. It only takes 1 BTU (British thermal unit) to raise 1 pound of water 1 degree, but each pound of 80 degree F water that evaporates takes a whopping 1,048 BTU of heat out of the pool. Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
This guy's art work with flowers is amazing!
___________________________________________________ LOCAL MAN WINS 'EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH AWARD' FOR 23RD STRAIGHT MONTH Chuck Rogers, a self employed marketing consultant, has won his company's 'Employee of the Month Award' for a record 23 months in a row. Said Rogers, "I began the award program nearly two years ago when my psychologist and business coach suggested that I needed to create a company plan for maintaining employee moral and building self-esteem." Rogers, who works alone from his home office, has received 100% of the votes for the 'Employee of the Month Award' since its inception. Said Rogers, "It feels really good every time I win the award. I am always surprised and flattered when the winner is announced. But the best part is that I get to use the special parking spot set aside for the winner. It is right next to the house. You can't imagine what a benefit that has been!" ___________________________________________________ I was a second lieutenant in the Army, learning to fly light aircraft at Fort Sill, Okla. One day I made a perfectly smooth landing. At last! To my horror, when I stepped on the brakes nothing at all happened. "What'll I do now?" I shouted to my instructor. "The brakes failed!" "I'm not surprised," he growled. "We're still two feet in the air." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Years ago, Nebraskans got tired of leaning into the wind, having their top soil blown away, and chickens laying their eggs two and three times. Seems the wind continually came down from Canada, and there was nothing between Canada and Nebraska to stop it. The farmers all got together and decided to build a fence across the North Border of the State of Nebraska. . . . the idea being, to stop that cold wind. It might've worked, too. The barbed wire they used was strong enough, .but the real problem was that a couple owners of farms on the upper border kept leaving their gates open. ___________________________________________________
 Today March 15 in 44 BC Roman Emperor Julius Caesar was assassinated by a herd of high ranking Roman Senators. The day is known as the "Ides of March." 1341 During the Hundred Years War, an alliance was signed between Roman Emperor Louis IV and France's Philip VI. 1493 Christopher Columbus returned to Spain after his first New World voyage. 1778 In command of two frigates, the Frenchman la Perouse sailed east from Botany Bay for the last lap of his voyage around the world. 1781 During the American Revolution, the Battle of Guilford Courthouse took place in North Carolina. British General Cornwallis' 1,900 soldiers defeated an American force of 4,400. 1862 General John Hunt Morgan began four days of raids near the city of Gallatin, TN. 1864 Red River Campaign began as the Union forces reach Alexandria, LA. 1875 The Roman Catholic Archbishop of New York, John McCloskey, was named the first American cardinal. 1877 The first cricket test between Australia and England was played in Melbourne. Australia won by 45 runs. 1892 New York State unveiled the new automatic ballot voting machine. 1892 Jesse W. Reno patented the Reno Inclined Elevator. It was the first escalator. 1901 German Chancellor von Bulow declared that an agreement between Russia and China over Manchuria would violate the Anglo- German accord of October 1900. 1902 In Boston, MA, 10,000 freight handlers went back to work after a weeklong strike. 1903 The British conquest of Nigeria was completed. 500,000 square miles were now controlled by the U.K. 1904 Three hundred Russians were killed as the Japanese shelled Port Arthur in Korea. 1907 In Finland, women won their first seats in the Finnish Parliament. They took their seats on May 23. 1910 Otto Kahn offered $500,000 for a family portrait by Dutch artist Frans Hals. Kahn had outbid J.P. Morgan for the work. 1916 U.S. President Woodrow Wilson sent 12,000 troops, under General Pershing, over the border of Mexico to pursue bandit Pancho Villa. The mission failed. 1917 Russian Czar Nicholas II abdicated himself and his son. His brother Grand Duke succeeded as czar. 1919 The American Legion was founded in Paris. 1922 Fuad I assumed the title of king of Egypt after the country gained nominal independence from Britain. 1934 Henry Ford restored the $5 a day wage. 1935 Joseph Goebbels, German Minister of Propaganda banned four Berlin newspapers. 1937 In Chicago, IL, the first blood bank to preserve blood for transfusion by refrigeration was established at the Cook County Hospital. 1938 Oil was discovered in Saudi Arabia. 1939 German forces occupied Bohemia and Moravia, and part of Czechoslovakia. 1944 Cassino, Italy, was destroyed by Allied bombing. 1946 British Premier Attlee offered India full independence after agreement on a constitution. 1949 Clothes rationing in Great Britain ended nearly four years after the end of World War II. 1951 General de Lattre demanded that Paris send him more troops for the fight in Vietnam. 1951 The Persian parliament voted to nationalize the oil industry. 1954 CBS television debuted its "Morning Show." 1955 The U.S. Air Force unveiled a self-guided missile. 1960 The first underwater park was established as Key Largo Coral Reef Preserve. 1964 In Montreal, Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor were married. 1968 The U.S. mint halted the practice of buying and selling gold. 1979 Pope John Paul II published his first encyclical "Redemptor Hominis." In the work he warned of the growing gap between the rich and poor. 1982 Nicaragua's ruling junta proclaimed a month-long state of siege and suspended the nation's constitution for one day. This came a day after anti-government rebels destroyed two bridges near the Honduran border. 1985 In Brazil, two decades of military rule came to an end with the installation of a civilian government. 1989 The U.S. Food and Drug administration decided to impound all fruit imported from Chili after two cyanide-tainted grapes were found in Philadelphia, PA. Unions in the US were against Chilean imports. 1989 The U.S. Department of Veteran's Affairs became the 14th Department in the President's Cabinet. 1990 Mikhail Gorbachev was elected the first executive president of the Soviet Union. 1990 The Ford Explorer was introduced to the public. 1990 The Soviet parliament ruled that Lithuania's declaration of independence was invalid and that Soviet law was still in force in the Baltic republic. 1991 Four Los Angeles police officers were indicted in the beating of Rodney King on March 3, 1991. (California) 1991 Yugoslav President Borisav Jovic resigned after about a week of anit-communist protests. 1994 U.S. President Clinton extended the moratorium on nuclear testing until September of 1995. 1996 The aviation firm Fokker NV collapsed. 1998 More than 15,000 ethnic Albanians marched in Yugoslavia to demand independence for Kosovo. 1998 CBS' "60 Minutes" aired an interview with former White House employee Kathleen Willey. Wiley said U.S. President Clinton made unwelcome sexual advances toward her in the Oval Office in 1993. 2002 Libyan Abdel Baset Ali Mohmed Al-Megrahi began his life sentence in a Scottish jail for his role in the bombing of Pan Am Flight 103 on December 21, 1988. 2002 In the U.S., Burger King began selling a veggie burger. The event was billed as the first veggie burger to be sold nationally by a fast food chain. 2002 In Texas, Andrea Yates received a life sentence for drowning her five children on June 20, 2001. 2002 U.S. Secretary of State Colin Powell told the Associated Press that the U.S. would stand by a 24-year pledge not to use nuclear arms against states that don't have them. 2019 Do smiled. 

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