Ophelia Dingbatter's News NO Sermon here, not for church, just jokes and fun for adults.
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 Good Morning, John! Today is Saturday, May 13 If this weather keeps up, I can start mowing lawns in a few days. The pretty dandylions are poking their heads out. I just LOVE them! Most people hereabouts panic when they see them and look at my cheap, not magnetic card permanently glued to their fridge. Plus Saturday and Sunday I will hoof the area and ask if anybody needs a new fridge card. By the end of the week I'll have a hamburger sizzling on the stove. I just love Dandylion season! For me, that means MEAT in the pan and maybe even some in the fridge. Naturally, some people book a season contract. Getting those is quite easy, from males. I use a bra with elastic vertical (up and down) stabilizers, and the horizontal ones I cut right off. The casual horizontal motion seems to hypnotize them. I wish there was a way to hypnotize you, John! Enjoy! Ophelia 
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 _____________________________________________________ Here is ONE of the many jokes from the full version: _____________________________________________________ 4 A game warden noticed how a particular fellow named Sam consistently caught more fish than anyone else. Whereas the other guys would only catch three or four fish a day, Sam would come in from the lake with a boat full of fish. Stringer after stringer was packed with freshly caught trout. The warden, curious, asked Sam his secret. The successful fisherman invited the game warden to accompany him and observe. So the next morning, the two met at the dock and took off in Sam's boat. When they got to the middle of the lake, Sam stopped the boat, and the warden sat back to see how it was done. Sam's approach was simple: He took out a stick of dynamite, lit it, and threw it into the air. The explosion rocked the lake with such a force that dead fish immediately began to surface. Sam took out a net and started scooping them up. Well, you can imagine the reaction of the game warden. When he recovered from the shock of it all, he began yelling at Sam, "You can't do this! I'll put you in jail, buddy! You will be paying every fine there is in the book!" Sam, meanwhile, set his net down and took out another stick of dynamite. He lit it and tossed it in the lap of the game warden with these words: "Are you going to sit there all day complaining, or are you going to fish?" =====================================================   
 
 
  
 Enjoy! (`v) Ophelia  ====================================================== 

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