Ophelia Dingbatter's News
NO Sermon here, not for church, just jokes and fun for adults. |
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Good Morning, John! Today is Sunday, September 11 (`v) Ophelia Those who matter don't judge me. Those who judge me don't matter.Those, who click me some grocery money, REALLY matter.
Renew / Upgrade Those who matter don't judge me. Those who judge me don't matter.
Those, who click me some grocery money, REALLY matter. Renew / Upgrade ____________________________________________________ This version is just for testing your email, whether you COULD receive my newsletter or not. If you DO receive this, then you can subscribe to the full version. To keep out little kids, the full version costs one dollar a month or ten dollars a year. PayPal does the age check. You can even use credit or debit cards at PayPal if you don't have a PayPal account yet.
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ONE of the many jokes from the full version: The kid safe joke is clean! ___________________________________________________ 2 One day in the future, Jesse Jackson has a heart-attack and dies. He immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him. "I don't know what to do here," says the devil. "You. are on my list, but I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got a couple of folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves." Jesse thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil opened the door to the first room. In it was Ted Kennedy and a large pool of water. Ted kept diving in, and surfacing, empty handed. Over, and over, and over he dove in and surfaced with nothing...Such was his fate in hell. "No," Jesse said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer, and I don't think I could do that all day long." The devil led him to the door of the next room. In it was Al Gore with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time. "No, this is no good; I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day," commented Jesse. The devil opened a third door. Through it, Jesse saw Bill Clinton, lying on the bed, his arms tied over his head, and his legs restrained in a spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she is known for. Jesse looked at this in shocked disbelief, and finally said, "Yeah man, I can handle this." The devil smiled and said . . . . . . . . . (This is priceless) "OK, Monica, you're free to go." ______________________________________________________
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