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Post to the HostComments from 02.20.22
Dear GK, Limericks are like recipes. neither are copyrighted. and this one, while not original to me, is worthy of being thrown into your oyster exchanges, to wit: Jpc A generous friend, JPC GK My father had a college friend — I think his name was Dave Kaplan — who would amuse himself during boring lectures by writing bits of verse. The only one that has come down to me is Said Henry James to D.H. Lawrence, I call it the Imaginary Conversation. Maybe you can use it. I think it is a worthy alternate to the limerick. I’m trying to write one about Justin Trudeau and Elon Musk, but what rhymes with musk? Elizabeth Block Toronto, Canada Elon Musk said to Justin Trudeau: GK Why don’t you add that communist regimes have been responsible for the deaths of 60 million or more people? Surprised and disappointed that on The Writer’s Almanac you referred to the Communist Manifesto of 1848 as “the most influential and best-selling political pamphlet of all time.” I would have thought that honor would go to the U.S. Declaration of Independence, which Thomas Jefferson penned in 1776: “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed …” Bill Dole I wish it were so and hope it will turn out to be, but considering China and Russia and the extent of autocracy and totalitarian regimes, I think Karl Marx is ahead in the game. GK Mr. Keillor, Recently you posted a letter from a person who explained that voting in Georgia had never been easier, in criticism of some negative reference to Georgia politics you had made. You accepted the criticism in good faith. Here is an excerpt from an article on restrictive voting legislation in various states, published by “Daily KOS,” an electronic news source. “Georgia passed S.B. 202, a restrictive omnibus law that criminalizes passing out water to voters waiting in line. The law also politicizes the state’s board of elections and grants the board new powers to remove professional election officials and seize control of election administration in specific jurisdictions, which could lead to partisan influence in the election certification process.” What kind of people would pass laws forbidding passing out water to people waiting to vote, in long lines in the Georgia heat? And legislate permission for partisan state officials to meddle with votes that have already been cast? John I’ll let the Georgians work this out, John, meanwhile the overriding problem is the low turnout especially in local elections and also for the presidential, especially among young people. Stacey Abrams did heroic work in turning out Democratic voters in Georgia, but nobody has figured out how to get twenty-year-olds to take an interest. Our heirs show little interest in the inheritance. GK I remember greenboards supplanting blackboards while I was in school. I must report that white, dry-erase boards have replaced most, if not all “chalkboards” regardless of their color. I suspect chalk dust was regarded as unhealthy and imagine a huge class-action suit was filed on behalf of all the unruly children whose punishment was to stay after school cleaning the erasers by banging them together and inhaling the ensuing clouds. If correct, I will be somewhat put out because I endured that punishment on more than a few occasions but was never contacted by any law firm. Still coughing in Florida I hope you’re okay, hope that you’re not coughing chalk dust. I like white boards and black felt-tip pens, so much better for stylish writing, but surely the felt-tips give off fumes and Lord knows what the risk may be. But as a former chains-smoker and serious drinker, I do feel I’m out of the swamp and onto higher ground. GK Hi, hold the paring knife David Garrison I wasn’t looking for one, but thanks for yours. GK IDEA: looking at the red sox paired next to each other, I saw A Pr-airie Ho-me CAMP-ONION! Let me know when Garrison gets it up and running — I’d love to send my grandkids there. Jane Johnson Jane, Camp Onion will not be a summer camp, it’ll be a work farm where rambunctious children will be sent to hoe corn and pick radishes and inions and strawberries, as I did back when I was rambunctious. My mother was nervous about me riding my bike along the state highway so she sent me to Fred Petterson’s farm to hoe endless rows of corn, which naturally led to prose writing. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. GK Hi, Garrison. You’re one of my favorite writers but your thoughts about the blatantly anti-Semitic AOC were a kick in the stomach. Ann, I shall check with my friend Rabbi Shosh Dworsky about the congresswoman and her views about Israel. I am always open to amendment. My admiration for her has to do with her life story, the waitress who beats the old incumbent who’s out of touch, and I didn’t mean it as a wholesale endorsement of everything she’s ever done or said. GK Dear GK, My day begins with reflection, a new perspective unearthed, your voice, familiar, reading a selected poem. Those five minutes of noting a moment in history or an author’s birth, adding poignant notes — I have only enough time to ponder as you broadcast them — bring joy to the morning routine. It is with delight to know that there’s a lot more to you than the Almanac, and I’ll be spreading the word among my flock in south Texas. Until next time and soon, Alicia, the Almanac is coming to an end at the end of May and I suppose it’ll still exist somewhere in the digital ether but production is ending. I’m too old and out of touch and it loses money and whenever you delve into history, you get into trouble. I’m going back to comedy. GK Editors note: We are looking at a way to still send daily newsletters using information and poems from the archive. More information to come. Garrison, you are a funny guy but a political idiot. You think we’re better off under the senile Joe Biden then we were under the crook Donald Trump? Stop embarrassing yourself. Look around, and weep. Are we talking about the DJT who called Putin a genius? I’ve watched President Biden speak and I’m weeping for the Ukrainian people, not for us. GK I have just turned 80 and a friend about to turn 80 gave me your new book as a birthday event. I have to say, it is a pure delight. One gets two or three mild little laughs each page, and often a major one. It contains everything that makes up a life well lived, elegantly told. When my wife and I married in 1978 we never missed a show, in the kitchen, cooking, laughing, dancing. Thank you for all this. Ford Burkhart Tucson, Arizona Thank you, Ford. For a book by an idiot, I think it’s not bad. GK From a fellow sensible Minnesotan, I pen this to comment that your recent column was your best in ages. While I pray that M/M does not take power in January, I fear you to be a soothsayer. You’ve given me hope for the local level, even though I currently reside in deep red land … Thank you! Gwen Watson There’s always hope, Gwen, and everywhere I look, I see good people doing the hard work. Living in New York, a person gets a clear sense of how many good individuals we depend on in our daily life, the ordinary kindness and decency of cabdrivers, waiters, teachers, cops, sanitation workers, and when the cashier at the grocery wishes me a good day and says it like she means it, I am touched. It’s like Sondheim wrote, “No one is alone.” GK Dear GK, (in re: A Swing at a Low Curveball column), Now, I get it — you LIKE angry rebuttals. And you’ll get them: Religion, politics, shooting children in school, like ducks on a pond, and blaming the guns. Hot stuff! Well, this might disappoint you, but I think you’ve got it about right. I’d add this: If you are standing in the voting booth, and you are still undecided, then vote for the candidate who did not fill you with fear, because that candidate is a demagogue. Like Huey P. Long, who built a bridge, and Donald J. Trump, who built a wall. I think there’s food for thought there, but I will deny it if you tell anyone I said it! I don’t need the aggravation; and good luck with yours! All the Best, Cliff Adams Fort Mitchell, Kentucky Hmmmm. GK I have enjoyed your musings in the periodic newsletter, including the missive today about Lent, but really about bagel. As a regular baker, I decided to try baking some and there is nothing like homemade. It’s a joy to make and it doesn’t take very long with only one rise for the dough. The recipe is Roberta’s Incredible Bagels. Look it up. The results will put a smile on your face and that of your lovely wife. Keep up the good work, my friend. Leon J. Barish Austin, Texas Living here on the Jewish West Side of Manhattan, home of Zabar’s, for me to bake my own bagels would be like a Jew in Minnesota playing football. I know of only one, Dan Dworsky, uncle of my pianist Rich Dworsky, a big star at Michigan State who became a famous architect. The Jewish Football Hall of Fame is rather small, same as the Lutheran Shortstop Hall of Fame. But I’ll pass the recipe on to my wife. She makes excellent granola and maybe she’s up for the challenge of bagels. GK Garrison, I do not pretend to be an authority on the compositions of Claude Debussy. I do know, however, that his Clair de Lune was originally titled Promenade sentimentale (Sentimental stroll). It is, in my opinion, one of the most beautiful songs ever written. If it constitutes “misty music,” let us recall that unto everything there is a season. Warmest regards, Coleman Hood This is the benefit of my disparagement of Debussy, it brings out his defenders. But try sitting through Daphnis & Chloe. It is daft and cloying and tedious in the extreme. GK ********************************************* ********************************************* Big News coming at 11AM CT - Hope you consider joining us!
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