Post to the Host

Hello, Mr. Keillor.

Every now and then a phrase or sentence or two leaves a special impression, and the last couple lines of your 10.21.22 column did just that.

In this whole day, I only want to do a few things right. Dive to my right, backhand the hard grounder, jump up, throw the runner out by half a step at first. Know when to use a semicolon instead of a comma. Put my hand on her shoulder and tell her I love her.

Simple and lovely. With your permission I will include it in a note to my wife on some special occasion … or perhaps on no occasion at all. Thank you so very much for continuing to do what you do.

Sincerely,

Craig Hoeschen

It’s been a long long time since I threw the runner out at first. In fact, I only remember doing it once and the runner was a heavyset middle-aged guy, my uncle, but the uniqueness of it makes it even more memorable. It’s just admiration for a job well done. I went to the Apple store last week where a woman named Kate showed me how to do three things with my laptop that suddenly made work so much easier and she was very pleasant about it. It made my day. But don’t put the quote in your note, say it in your own words, it’ll mean more to her. Or just put your hand on her shoulder. GK

Dear Mr. Keillor,

We wish you’d bring your Prairie Home Companion revival out west. Any plans? My wife and I live in California.

Paul S.

Palm Springs

I’m doing a show in Palm Desert on Nov. 28 and Torrance on Jan. 7 but it’s not the whole revival show. The 28th is with Prudence Johnson and Dan Chouinard and the 7th is me, myself, and I. GK

Did you purposely misuse the verb “lie” to see if your editor was paying attention? Or were you trying to see if your readers would catch it? As I recall my English teacher from over 60 years ago said one only uses the verb “lay” when paired with an object. For example, “I will lay the pencil on the table.” The verb “lie” does not require an object. For example, “When I sleep at night, I lie in a fetal position.” One doesn’t “lie himself.” He either “lays himself” or just “lies.”

Tim TerMeer

Yes, it was purposeful and now I’ve achieved my purpose in eliciting this clear explanation from you. Thanks. GK

Hi, Garrison.

Regarding your recent post about forgiveness where you wrote, God is a forgiving God, as we know from our prayer of contrition, but if you raise millions and millions of dollars to broadcast lies and thereby gain power and do damage to society and its institutions, this is a sin of another magnitude than just telling your mom you didn’t eat the ice cream in the freezer. When you invest so heavily in a lie, you make it almost impossible for yourself to feel real contrition and thereby gain forgiveness. You leave yourself no way out. This struck a chord with me because I would bet that many (most?) of those who are telling the lies probably call themselves Christians. Perhaps they are so invested in their lies that they have truly come to believe they are the truth. Otherwise, how can they live with themselves? How do they sleep at night? Their self-righteousness is astounding to me. Thanks for your columns. My wife and I enjoy reading them and hope you continue writing.

Stephen Jay

It’s a crazy time, with Putin threatening nuclear war and so many nutcases running for office. Come January we may find ourselves in a whole new America. But keep in mind that wielding power is not all it’s cracked up to be. Power and joy are strangers to each other. I wager that any of the people I saw walking around Central Park last glorious October was happier than Kevin McCarthy will be when he gets the gavel.

Dear GK,

While my wife and I are in full agreement with almost everything you said in your October 26 column, there still remains the overarching question that must be asked:

Do you pronounce it Keillor as in “key” or “tree” or “thee”?

Or do you pronounce it Keillor as in “sly” or “try” or “thy”?

An author I heard of named Keillor
Went to the doctor, a healer
His heart had some tickses,
He got a few fixes
He’s now back in action, a spieler.

Steve McHenry
San Jose

That’s how my ancestors pronounced it so I do too. We come from Yorkshire, the little village of Skelton. There are tombstones there from the 14th century with our name on them.

GK,

Miss your program more than you will know; in the ’90s I drove tractor-trailers to 46 of 48 states and eastern Canada and I LIVED for your program on Saturdays and Sundays as well as listening to you when I would be giving medications to my mom (it helped her too in dealing with her problem).

I am now JOYFULLY married to a “Ruski” for 21 years and listen on YouTube. I am still a “Norwegian Bachelor” in recovery. She uses an assortment of cast iron pans depending on how much I have relapsed, though I prefer to be tased …

Thanks, and I will be following your program.

Carl Schleg

P.S. I’ll start — How do you know he may be a “NBF”? I still use my can opener I got in the military.

There aren’t many of you NBFs still around but I must say that if you were a true NBF you would’ve found fault with the show, complained that it was too long and the stories didn’t make sense. And that your mother didn’t like it either. GK

GK,

With Halloween near, I’m reminded of some indicators of Climate Change for Climate Deniers out there …

Just 30 years ago, when our children were of the age to go trick-or-treating, here in Vermont, we made sure their costumes had enough room to put a snowsuit underneath. It was not uncommon to take the kids out in the snow — undeterred (and as parents we were glad to take them as we knew we got our kickback in candy).

Nowadays, not only isn’t it cold enough to snow — it’s almost November and we still haven’t gotten a killing frost. There are tomatoes on the vine (though as I say this, I’m reminded that it looks like a clear sky and dropping temps, which means we may go into the 20s tonight. Again, 30 years ago, we could expect a killing frost anywhere from mid-September to October 1. 

We are warming up for sure.

Lastly, thanks for the recent writing, for the memories (like bringing your revue to Vermont venues like the Chittenden Fairgrounds) and lastly, best wishes for good health.

Mike Mrowicki

Putney, Vermont

The true wealth is good health, as someone said. Anyone who’s my age and still hoofing it around and not anxious about a dire prognosis should be cheerful, so I am. Most of the time. You’re right about global warming and it’s alarming that in this election year hardly anyone talks about it. GK

Dear Garrison,

I love learning about old family recipes, maybe because I have so few from my childhood that are worth repeating. When you were growing up, did your mom use any recipes that you remember or still use today? My mother used to fry up a pound of ground beef, sprinkle it with salt and pepper, and call it “frizzled beef.” Not my favorite, but it’s not too bad when you pair it with mashed potatoes. My mother hated cooking, but in the 1950s and 1960s, it was the woman who was expected to make all the meals. I feel bad that she had to shoulder this burden when she hated it so. Do you ever cook for your wife?

Stacey

St. Paul, Minnesota

Jenny enjoys cooking and she makes a mean stir-fry and she loves tossing creative salads. She likes me to sit in the kitchen and talk to her while she cooks and pour her a glass of Portuguese white wine. My mother had six kids and so our meals were simple: spaghetti, chow mein, mac and cheese, fried smelt, and of course pot roast on Sunday. She liked us to leave her alone when she fixed meals; if there was traffic around her, she said, “This is like Grand Central Station.” She’d been to New York to visit my dad when he was in the Army and Grand Central was her idea of chaos and confusion. GK

GK,

Please help me to calm down about the upcoming election. The Republican right-wing-nut-job wave is coming and we’re going to be in serious trouble. How can we have hope when there is so much political divisiveness and so much turmoil everywhere we look? It’s a mess. If you can’t answer my question, at least say something funny to cheer me up.

Betty Anderson

Betty, I believe there is a vast reserve of reasonableness among the electorate and I believe the younger generation is coming to the fore with serious concerns about justice and the environment. Yes, there’s a lot of anger and resentment out there, and the next few years may be rough, but the crazy people will discover that economics is complex and you can’t lower the price of gas at the pump just by waving your hand. The rising tide of violence is alarming, the open appeals to racism, the incidents of anti-Semitism, but these are outliers. People say crazy stuff but face to face you encounter a fundamental goodness. So I’m sticking with hope. Wish I could think of something funny. GK

Mr. Keillor:

As a longtime Minnesotan, I feel betrayed by your decision to live in New York. I used to drive by your house on Portland Avenue in St. Paul and it seemed like an ideal place to. live. What happened to you?

Emmet Goodner

St. Paul

I took a walk in Central Park Saturday, a glorious autumn day, and hiked around the reservoir and enjoyed being anonymous in the crowds of sightseers, stopped to listen to a couple of jazz bands, admired a couple of horses with rangers mounted on them, and then, three-fourths of the way around, the afternoon sun in my eyes, I didn’t see a low branch and I walked into it hard, banged my forehead, got knocked over on my hands and knees, and within four seconds about five people stopped to ask if I was all right. I laughed, though my head hurt, and I got up without help, and made my way home, but the kindness of people impressed me. In St. Paul, you don’t find many pedestrians, everyone’s driving somewhere. The Park is a festive place especially in nice weather. It’s a pedestrian town. I like that. GK

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