Starmer on your soles and Thatcher on your teacup: we vote for the best, worst and weirdest election merch

You may have snapped up a Renaissance tour T-shirt when you went to see Beyoncé or display your loyalty to your local coffee shop by carrying around its branded reusable cup. But have you thought about buying a memento of the 2024 general election?

Political parties are betting on it (not just the Conservatives this time) as they continue to churn out election merch right up to polling day. The somewhat eclectic offerings are far from the days of a simple satin rosette or bumper sticker.

On Monday, the Tories restocked their £16.99 Keir Starmer flip-flops. “Labour has a ‘liable to change’ leader who will flip his position if the politics flop to suit him”, reads the blurb. Launched at their party conference last October, perhaps Rishi Sunak and co hoped that voters might wear them to polling stations on Thursday. Other reported bestsellers on the site include A Dangerous Brew mug featuring a caricature of Angela Rayner and Starmer and a £2,094 plastic red piggy bank – a nod to the amount that they claim Starmer will increase taxes by (it is now out of stock).

In a way that recalls parties’ activities on the campaign trail, there’s plenty of self-promotion among the slagging off. . One has to wonder if Sunak was in charge of the Tories’ pop art-style coasters featuring images of its “most iconic leaders”, including Benjamin Disraeli, Winston Churchill, Margaret Thatcher and – you guessed it – Sunak himself. There’s also a “the lady’s not for turning” mug and a Kendall Roy-esque navy baseball cap featuring some subtle Conservative iconography, if there can be such a thing as a subtle Tory, and an umbrella featuring a quote from Churchill: “One always measures friendships by how they show up in bad weather.” We’re guessing this was likely released prior to Sunak’s decision to call an election standing uncovered and alone in the rain.

Labour is offering all grownup merch, not satirical gimmicks. There’s Totes Labour cloth bags and a stable-looking stoneware mug, while T-shirts and sweatshirts come in oversized streetwear-inspired fits and football-esque giant scarves feature a graphic text spin on its Change slogan. While their Sparkle With Starmer T-shirt is long gone, a statement Vote Labour Perspex red necklace – regularly seen on Angela Rayner – can be bought from the independent jewellery brand Tatty Devine.

The Green party’s offering is minimal, which seems on brand. There’s a Vote Green mug and some meme-worthy “brat” green posters. For T-shirts and the like, look to the Greens’ collab with Teemill, an Isle of Wight-based circular economy platform that prints to demand and takes back used and unwanted T-shirts to turn them into new ones. Reform, meanwhile, naturally doesn’t conform with traditional merchandise offerings, instead flogging branded hard hats and high-vis vests. Elsewhere, the Women’s Equality Party is hoping for its own viral moment with its Vote Labia-emblazoned baseball caps, while it seems the Animal Welfare Party missed an opportunity by selling T-shirts for adults but not jackets for dogs.

But the rest of the internet is where the real clickbait merch is. Etsy is awash with unofficial merch spanning everything from Tory wipeout bingo games to mugs featuring that image of Nigel Farage getting pelted with a banana milkshake. One of the site’s bestsellers are Taylor Swift-style friendship bracelets spelling out “Fuck the Tories”. Happy voting.

What’s hot – and what’s most definitely not – this week

Going up

Sambas … again | Perhaps you thought the Sunak effect had killed them off, but the sight of Harry Styles in a pair may just save the Adidas Samba shoes.

Court fits | As we enter day four of Wimbledon, all eyes are on Jannik Sinner and what giant tote the Gucci ambassador will lug on to Centre Court this year. With Emma Raducanu working for Dior and Carlos Alcaraz repping Louis Vuitton, it’s game, set, match for fashion.

Male midriffs | Male midriff-baring crop tops are giving short shorts some seam-size competition. A shrunken fit from Asos has become one of its fastest sellers.

Going down

Hot sauce | Kate Spade has thrust ketchup into the condiment spotlight for its collaboration with Heinz. Add a squiggle of fun to summer looks with its sachet-shaped clutch bags complete with “tear” corners.

Baggy swimming trunks | In worrying news, swimwear experts (and members of the fashion desk who have just returned from holidays) claim “budgie smugglers” are making a beachside comeback. A trend best left to Team GB, we say.

Leopard print | To mark the 30th anniversary of The Lion King, French fashion house Balmain has designed a limited collection including T-shirts and hoodies emblazoned with prints of Simba and Nala. Our inner child is jealous.

Chloe Mac Donnell, deputy fashion and lifestyle editor, solves your wardrobe dilemmas

Q: My friends are having a town hall wedding followed by lunch at their local pub. The dress code says “informal”. They are very laid-back, but I love getting dressed up. How can I make sure I don’t overdo it? – Gabby, Hove

A: I’m sure your friends wouldn’t want you to change your style for one day. If you always wear clashing prints, say, it would be odd for you to turn up in a beige outfit. That said, this day is about them, so still dress up and do you, just don’t go all out with white sequins or a towering hat or something. I’m sure you already have lots of options in your wardrobe but if you want some styling inspiration check out Rixo’s wedding guest edit. I like the idea of a small basket bag and ballet flats to go with a dressier look.

Got your own style question? Send it to fashionstatement@theguardian.com.