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Republicans: Trump Will Be Our Leader, Even if He Loses

By Lachlan Markay, Asawin Suebsaeng, Sam Stein

The president won’t go quietly even if things don’t go well Tuesday night. Beyond that, politics has forever been changed by his presidency.

The Only Late-Night Show Crazier Than a Trump Rally

By Marlow Stern

Adult Swim’s “The Eric Andre Show” is, without question, the most gleefully unhinged show on TV. Andre talks to Marlow Stern about the return of his demented creation.

Ivanka, Hope, and Kayleigh Will Pay for Enabling Trump

By Hannah Seligson

The poised, attractive young women standing by this president may make him look better, but the same can’t be said for them.

Come November, the free press might be the last democratic pillar left standing.

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Four Years Later, and Finally a Night to Set Things Right

By Michael Tomasky

This is our chance to tell our kids and grandkids that we made a decision to save democracy and stop authoritarianism.

Moscow’s Sausage King Killed in His Sauna With a Crossbow

By Anna Nemtsova

The wealthy Meat Emperor of Moscow, who was embroiled in family feuds, was attacked in his sauna as he bathed naked with a lover.

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Lady Gaga Unloads on Sexual Predator Trump at Biden Rally

By Kevin Fallon

After days of Trump’s illogical attacks on Lady Gaga (fracking?), the star dropped the mic at Biden’s final rally, calling out his sexual-assault accusations in a powerful speech.

Kamala’s Marxist Tweet Was an Awfully Weird Closing Message

By Matt Lewis

It probably won’t be enough to make a difference, but it shows a level of staggering incompetence that could be a harbinger of things to come.

Meet the Witches Who Are Hexing Trump’s Re-Election

By Arvind Dilawar

An anti-Trump super PAC has enlisted witchcraft to doom the president’s chances of a second term.

SEE MORE STORIES

1. Deutsche Bank Searching for Way to Dump Toxic Trump: Report

PAYBACK TIME

The bank has reportedly discussed selling on the debt or, more worryingly for Trump, demanding repayment or asset seizure when they start coming due in two years.

2. Rudy Helps Kremlin-Backed News Spread Lies on Election Day

USEFUL IDIOT

Giuliani’s appearance came days after Scott Atlas, Trump’s favorite coronavirus adviser, apologized for appearing on RT.

3. Scouted Gift Pick: Our Favorite Cups for Drinking Coffee

GIFT PICK

Bodum’s Pavina glasses are double-walled, meaning they accentuate your drink and keep your hand from getting too hot.

4. Birx: Trump WH Needs ‘Much More Aggressive Action’ Right Now

‘BALANCED APPROACH’

Internal memo shows COVID task force coordinator raising alarms about “most deadly phase of this pandemic” as Trump holds massive rallies across the country.

5. Shock Number: 61,000+ U.S. Kids Caught COVID Last Week

‘HORRIBLE TO EVEN WORSE’

In total, at least 853,635 children have been diagnosed with the virus in America this year and, as of late last week, 121 had died.

KEEP CHEATING

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