Susan's "Love-Deficit"
"We need love because we ARE love and constantly long for that identity in this seemingly separated world."
Intro from Gary: Susan (true name withheld for privacy reasons) is the victim of severe parental abuse and, through her Membership in our Optimal EFT Course Membership, has been finding success in unraveling her extreme emotionoal responses.
Along the way, we have had some interesting correspondence. I thought you would find this exchange useful.
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Hi Gary,
So, I have been working with The Unseen Therapist on the various issues and can see a change in the way I respond to things which is amazing.
But my Seabhorric dermatitis has not cured yet. Although I had several other issues and I'm seeing improvements in them.
I looked back deeper and felt this one emotion very evidently, that I have the fear of losing my mother. I had this fear so much that whenever I try to get some guidance from The Unseen Therapist, I cannot get any specific event.
I usually get one specific event but when it comes to this emotion I feel blank. I just feel like I cannot let my mom go and it is some kind of obsession I have over her because I fear I would lose her.
Another emotion that I was working on was when we had to move houses and I was a child, I got very attached to my neighbour's dog. I'm pretty sure that the dog is no more but I feel a lot of regret that I couldnt see her at all when she passed away.
Whenever I go back I can only see myself begging to see her once and crying. That's all I get in the memory and I ask The Unseen Therapist to guide me and it is almost liek I'm a child and I'm not ready to heal until I see her.
What do you do when your inner child is so adamant about something. It doesnt feel like I'm dealing with the adult part of myself sometimes because there is no logic in what I feel.
Regards, Susan
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Hi Susan,
Here are my thoughts.
Both the fear of losing your mother and the grief regarding the dog appear to have something in common, namely, your losing a source of love. This is understandable and common, especially in your case where abuses often took the place of love in your childhood.
We need love because we ARE love and constantly long for that identity in this seemingly separated world. Further, the less love we have experienced, the more intense the love-craving becomes. Hence the obsession and crying.
Almost everyone suffers from this love-deficit, at least to some degree. But the solution always involves the gradual realization that love comes from INSIDE and need not be required of OUTSIDE sources. This often involves the resolution of an intricate web of past experiences and rarely happens overnight.
That is why the diligent use of our Immerse-ucation process is so important. Through its many reframes and Unseen Therapist sessions, its design is to shift your perception in these essential ways. You are already seeing results but must be both diligent and patient. Most OEFT students and clients tend to forget the major progress they have made and, instead, focus on "what's not done yet." Just be aware of that tendency.
Love, Gary
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