1. Ron Watkins Slips Up, Suggests He Is Q, in HBO QAnon Doc

  WHO ME? 

Watkins is the owner of the image board site 8kun, on which the elusive cult leader exclusively posts.

2. Russia Has Torpedo ‘Superweapon’ at Arctic Military Buildup

 CHILLING 

Climate change has led to ice-free waters, so Moscow is testing its new Poseidon 2M39 torpedo, which could render the eastern U.S. coastline uninhabitable, according to CNN.

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3. Your Dog Loves Bacon. You Love a Calm Dog. This Covers Both.

 AD BY PET RELEAF 

Pet Releaf’s new peppered bacon-flavored CBD-infused edibites are going to be a hit with your dog.

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4. Jordan’s Prince Hamzah: The Kingdom Can’t Silence Me

 SILENT TREATMENT 

The former crown prince and half-brother of King Abdullah said from house arrest that he would not obey the kingdom’s order to zip it.

5. FL Guv: Easing Measures Working at Toxic Reservoir—for Now

 INFRASTRUCTURE WEAK 

But a collapsing wastewater pond is not radioactive, state officials insist.

6. These Chinos Helped Me Start Wearing Real Pants Again

 ONE LEG AT A TIME 

I could probably do the splits in these chinos, that is, if I could do the splits in general.

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7. Lou Gehrig’s 1938 Yankees Bat Sells at Auction for $715,120

 HOME RUN 

The 34-inch, 36-ounce Bill Dickey model Louisville Slugger bat was used by Gehrig during his final full season with the Yankees.

8. Irish Moms Challenge Quarantine Laws After ‘Boob Job’ Trip

 ‘ESSENTIAL’ TRAVEL 

The Dublin women were jailed after they refused to enter a government-mandated hotel quarantine when they returned from Dubai.

9. Five Kids and Teens Among Those Shot at Alabama Easter Party

 HOLIDAY HORROR 

A 32-year-old woman was fatally wounded and five kids and teens were injured when gunfire erupted at an outdoor park in Birmingham.

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10. Taiwan Train Crash: Construction Site Boss Released on Bail

 ‘NO CONSPIRACY’ 

It is believed a truck rolled from a building site into the path of the express train, leading to the deaths of 50+ people.

11. Tropical Cyclone Leaves 76 Dead, Thousands Displaced in Asia

 TORRENTIAL TERROR 

The massive storm struck Indonesia and East Timor on Sunday, displacing thousands of people escaping from mudslides and flooding.

12. Cops: Colorado Man Called for Medical Help, Stole Ambulance

 THANKS FOR NOTHING 

The 41-year-old was reportedly having difficulty breathing.

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13. ‘Secret’ Guantanamo Unit Shut, Inmates Moved to Nearby Site

 ROOM WITHOUT A VIEW 

Until now, the Pentagon refused to even acknowledge the existence of Camp 7.

14. Tycoon and Wife Tied Up and Beaten by Robbers

 HOME INVASION 

The thieves fled the estate outside Paris with jewelry and watches.

15. Cops: Florida Anti-Masker Hosted Illegal All-Male Strip Show

 BALLSY MOVE 

Bar owner Gary Kirby was not cited for COVID violations, but for violating a city ordinance banning the public display of male genitals, according to reports.

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