Russia Admits Its Missile Flagship Has Sunk

By AJ McDougall

The warship, famous for being told by Ukrainian guards to “go fuck yourself,” was felled by bad weather rather than a missile strike, Russia’s Defense Ministry claimed.

Amtrak Train Bigot Accuses Gay Dads of Being ‘Pedophiles’

By Tim Teeman

Robbie Pierce and Neal Broverman and their children endured a vicious verbal attack on an Amtrak train, and hold politicians using anti-LGBTQ “grooming” rhetoric responsible.

Kim and Pete Are Now Photoshop-Controversy Official

By Laura Bradley

Did Kim Kardashian edit her boyfriend’s nose and jaw into Bratz Boy formation? Is the pizza they’re eating a dig at Kanye? Every pixel is a rich text.

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Told You So—It Was Way Too Soon to Lift COVID Mask Mandates

By Wajahat Ali

The BA.2 omicron subvariant is everywhere. Even if you’re “over” COVID, the coronavirus still isn’t done with us yet.

This Middle Eastern Hotel’s Design Is as Wild as You’d Hope

By William O’Connor

From a haunting metallic lobby to futuristic spa, this hotel is a modern visual feast.

Mega-Troll? Elon Appears to Slip Pot Joke in His Twitter Bid

By Noah Kirsch

Musk sent shockwaves through the market on Thursday with a $43 billion takeover offer. The question is whether to take him seriously.

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Counselor Offers Glimpse Into ‘Abusive’ Depp-Heard Marriage

By Pilar Melendez

Heard used a “jackhammer style of talking” that “triggered” Depp, the marriage counselor testified.

A Gatekeeping Protein Offers a Way to Finally Cure Seizures

By Miriam Fauzia

Scientists are uncovering the molecular mysteries of this ancient human disease.

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1. Putin’s Captured Bestie Loses 23 Houses, 26 Cars and a Yacht

 SEIZED 

Ukraine said it had seized more than 150 assets connected to the pro-Kremlin opposition politician and his family.

2. Dem Donor Ed Buck Gets 30 Years for Drugs-for-Sex Deaths

 MONSTROUS 

Prosecutors accused Buck of preying on vulnerable men, often young and Black, as a means of satisfying his sexual fetish.

3. Trump-Backed Candidate for Guv Accused of Groping Women

 CREEPY 

“I’m scared for any young women that he would be dealing with in the future. Don’t send your daughters to work for this guy,” one woman said.

4. Sick Dolphin Killed in Texas After Beachgoers Try to Ride It

 CRUEL AND UNUSUAL 

The dolphin washed ashore the Quintana Beach County Park but beachgoers then shimmied it back into the water and tried to mount it.

5. GOP Lawmaker: Homeless People Should Be Inspired by Hitler

 BAD EXAMPLE 

Despite living on the streets, Hitler “went on to lead a life that got him in the history books,” says Tenn. state Sen. Frank Niceley.

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