Modeling self-care is a gift for your entire congregation
We know we should care for ourselves, but it never hurts to be reminded of what’s at stake as we seek to be faithful in this spiritual practice. After all, ministry is a long-term commitment. We can plan for some of the challenges, like the busy seasons of Advent and Lent. Then there are the events we cannot anticipate, like funerals, community disasters and interpersonal conflict. These occurrences inevitably show up without warning and demand our full attention. If we’re honest, we have to admit that the unexpected may require more energy than we have in reserve. The practice of self-care also faces internal obstacles. Congregational leaders may find it difficult to take the necessary time away from ministry. Sometimes we feel guilty about stepping back. Other times, the congregation places unrealistic demands on us, perhaps not realizing that what they are asking might jeopardize our personal well-being. To thrive in ministry, it’s crucial to remember that self-care is not selfish navel gazing. Self-care is anchored in biblical teachings about rest and renewal. In fact, many spiritual disciplines require us to slow down if we are going to do them well — disciplines like prayer, journaling, solitude, meditation and silence. When leaders take care of themselves, they model healthy behaviors for other leaders and the entire congregation. God intends for us to enjoy God’s good creation. This is difficult to do if we are over-functioning in our professional or volunteer roles. It may seem like we are being faithful if we succumb to the pressure to always be available. What is likely to happen is that we encourage unhealthy boundaries and limit the church’s ability to grow beyond our personality. |
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| Creating a tangible handmade item like a knitted sweater, a carved spoon or a hand-dyed apron provides comfort and healing, writes a minister and handwork educator.
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| When runners train for a race, they are told to spend most of their time preparing at a slower pace to help them speed up when needed. The strategy offers important lessons for how we approach our work and life, writes the director of communications for Leadership Education at Duke Divinity.
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| Rather than focusing on fixing symptoms, the professor and psychiatrist describes in a new book how to reframe mental health care as learning to live more wisely and fully in the world.
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Interview with Warren Kinghorn
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| Stalking the wild birds near his home on the Canadian coast provides a chance to focus and be still, writes the president of Vancouver School of Theology.
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Emotional and mental health. Sabbath rest. Self-care. I think most of us know what we should do. However, in the face of the urgent demands of ministry and life, it can be challenging to do what we know is good and faithful. I am grateful for the mentors I had early in ministry who modeled ways of being intentional about work and rest. I can recall one of the deacons who served at a former pastorate of mine. I was very young and enthusiastic. I never wanted to cancel Bible study, even for bad weather. One day the deacon saw my frustration. He pulled me aside and said, “Reverend, you’re never going to preach the whole Bible.” His words have had a positive influence on the expectations I have put on myself over the years. I know that I have never achieved perfect work-life balance — which doesn’t exist, if you ask me — but I try to cultivate a life-giving rhythm so I can be present with God, with the congregation, and with my family and friends. What are your daily and weekly rhythms? How do you set boundaries? Who holds you accountable to making good choices with your time? Ministers who finish strong cultivate ways to love themselves in the same way they love others.
You can always reach me and the Alban Weekly team at alban@duke.edu. Until next week, keep leading! |
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| Editor Alban at Duke Divinity |
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