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Marriage & Family

Should You Avoid Old Flames on Social Media?

At first, I didn’t take stories of marriages destroyed by Facebook seriously. The idea of adultery starting via social media seemed like something that would only take place among couples already in serious trouble—and it especially didn’t seem like a temptation mature Christians would fall for.

But now I take it seriously: I’ve seen this very temptation impact couples I know with devastating results.

Social media can make us feel seen, valued, and appreciated by people who “like” us—a ready temptation for a person who may come to the computer already feeling taken for granted. We may view old flames from an earlier era through a rosy lens, for they knew us when we were younger, less stressed, more idealistic. We may have sentimental feelings about the past or a desire to be free of challenges in the present, both of which can add to the danger.

This week’s featured article, “Avoiding Old Flames on Facebook,” candidly discusses the ways fidelity can be “breached long before physical acts occur.” Jenell Williams Paris writes:

How about looking at an ex's profile pictures and imagining the life you could have had together, the children you could have been raising, the house you could have bought? How about looking at old photos your ex has posted, remembering the encounters you had in that time and place? How about indulging the brief thrill that arises when his or her name appears in your e-mail inbox or your Facebook wall (the rush is fueled, after all, by past words and experiences shared only between the two of you)? How about nurturing the notion that you missed your chance with your real soul-mate by keeping in touch with the supposed soul-mate? These actions and attitudes may not be adultery, but they certainly do not represent loyalty.

Read Paris’s article and consider your own take: Do you agree that old flames should be avoided altogether when it comes to social media? Why or why not? How can you protect your marriage from temptation—even temptations that seem minor or harmless?


Kelli B. TrujilloKelli B. Trujillo

Kelli B. Trujillo
Editor


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