Quick and Dirty Tips Newsletter
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Quick and Dirty Tips



Hello QDT listeners,

This week, Dr. Nanika Coor tackled the thorny question of children's violent play. Violence, war, and weapons can take many forms: from swords and knights to fake guns and war games. These games may be disturbing to parents, but it's important to understand the role they play in child development.

This is also a particularly complex issue for Black and Brown children who may not always have the same privilege of freely playing with toy guns or engaging in imaginary violent play, lest they be seen as real and adult threats, then retaliated against as if they were.

Adults can have the impulse to ban aggressive pretend play out of fear that it will result in real aggressive behavior. But banning this kind of play is unlikely to stop it, as kids will just figure out sneaky ways to do it anyway. Also, the more you react negatively or try to talk them out of it, the more power you’re giving the issue—which may encourage your child to play aggressively just to push your buttons. In addition, attempts to control your child’s play themes can leave them feeling thwarted, misunderstood, and like the games they play are unwelcome and a bad thing—that they are a bad kid.

If you are curious about the reasons kids play in this way, what to look out for, and productive ways you can communicate about it, you can click here to listen to the full episode of Project Parenthood.

Need more Quick and Dirty Tips? Check out our other shows!
  • Savvy Psychologist drops an episode from another podcast we think you'll love. Listen here.




  • Nutrition Diva investigates an ancient cholesterol remedy. Listen here.


  • Modern Mentor helps you differentiate between productivity and perfectionism. Listen here.

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